Archive for category coaching

Sunday Column (40)

Posted by Volker in Sunday Column, cb consulting, coaching, personal on 29/11/2009

Yes, this week was quieter than expected. However, this has been my happiest week for a long time. Really since February if you exclude my two weeks paternity leave this summer.

Monday kicked off with lots of meetings. Caught up with good friends and interesting partners which hopefully leads to more business soon. The same really happened on Wednesday, another busy day. Also had to go to the dentist which resulted in us buying a new toothbrush, an electric one: Oral B Professional Care 3000. Not only do we get the “dentist feeling”, which I am not sure about whether that is a good or bad thing, but we also get a polishing function. Wednesday ended with a networking event on Search Marketing organised by the great guys from NMA. Thanks again for a great night.

Thursday I finished my Tai Chi form. Finally :-) I only started Tai Chi in Beckenham this February. But, given the size of Bromley, we are not really many in our class. The Greenwich Tai Chi group allegedly is much bigger. Anyway, we finished the Hine Tai Chi long form in less than a year. Now it will take probably another 10 years to perfect it……

Friday I set up a PPC (pay per click) campaign for cb consulting. As you know, besides my main job, I am offering coaching and consulting services, mainly focusing on inbound marketing for start ups in London. But also, I am focusing on youth and career coaching. A friend asked me for some help, so I thought I try out some Google Adwords campaigns myself before spending money for someone else :-)

I often get asked how I have so much time. But, often all my posts are written during the weekend, and I try to do them outside the “Colin time”. This way they just get published during the week and don’t take up much time.

The weekend was great too. I booked 2 days holidays Monday and Tuesday, so we went away over the weekend. We visited friends in Raleigh in Essex, and also went to Leigh on Sea, a small fishing village. It was a beautiful but windy and cold day. We really enjoyed our first night away with Colin who managed not too badly.


View Larger Map

So I am looking forward to two days off….. :-)

All the best,
Volker
….

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Human Needs

Posted by Volker in cb consulting, change management, coaching on 12/11/2009

This week I continued to listen to the mp3 of Anthony Robbins, and the six basic human needs:

1. Certainty/Comfort.
2. Variety.
3. Significance.
4. Connection/Love.
5. Growth.
6. Contribution.

Having worked with my coach for a few week, and had another coaching session this week, I realise that these basic six needs are very important. Let’s assume you are in a relationship, in a job, play chess in a club, or anything that is important to you, and none or only one or two of these needs are met. How long would you stay in that situation and not change it? And why?

For argument sake, you are in a relationship but your partner doesn’t give you security because s/he is going off to gamble the hard earned money. Then s/he doesn’t’ show any love or connection to you and your kids, and you feel like you cannot grow or contribute to the situation at home. As Anthony would put it, the blueprint of your life of what you want to achieve and life itself are not equal. You are very unhappy.

Then this is the time for change! Change to either solve the situation if you can or get out of there. Find a situation that meets three or four of your basic human needs.

If you watched the video above you can see what I am talking about. It is just one of many videos on YouTube, so if you do a search for “Anthony Robbins” and “six human needs”, you should find answers to:

a) What is stopping us from having the life we want?

You ever tried to blame others for the situations you are in? It is my boss, it is the work environment, it is the commute, it is my neighbour, it is my wife/husband, ….. – there is only one person you have fully control over and that is YOU. You are the one that can change people, situations and of course yourself. You decide – have choice – to develop yourself the way you want. The answer for anything lies within you, something I try to explore with my blog on Buddhism and Management which is currently paused.

b) What is controlling and shaping your choices and emotions?

What is it you would like to achieve? Which pattern/behaviour do you have? How could you break it? Why do you do what you do? Look from the outside in and experiment what would be if you changed. Get a coach to do a time-line exercise to understand what you are looking for.

c) Why do we do the things we do if it is so easy to change?

This comes down to pattern, behaviour and routine. Don’t you get up every morning and have the same routine. And if something disturbs you in it, don’t you hate it? And, you cannot change any pattern without finding a substitution that meets the same needs.

Anthony says that if a habit or a pattern meets at least three needs it becomes an addiction – in a positive as well as a negative sense. If jogging or sports meet three needs then you might get addicted to sports, but if smoking gives you security, comfort and love as well as contribution to a social group, then this habit will be hard to break. So you need to find an alternative that meets exactly the same needs by doing something different!

Have a think about it and please leave a comment or contact me if you would like to find out more.

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His Holiness the Dalai Lama – Daily Wisdom

Posted by Volker in buddhism, cb consulting, coaching on 24/09/2009

It is not too long ago, I was writing about me reading the Dalai Lama and the Path to Tranquility. A book you can purchase at Amazon.

For the 21st of September it says:
Western brains work, they work a great deal, but always in the direction of efficiency. In that way the mind puts itself at the service of the result. Like all servants, it renounces its independence. I am talking about another form of spiritual life, more detached and deeper, free form the obsession of a goal to be reached. In a way, the universal invasion of technology, everywhere it goes, lessen the life of the mind.

I like that thought. We are always trying to achieve more: more money, more status, more respect. We seem to always want to achieve more in less time and better quality. Hence, so the Dalai Lama, we become servants.

By abandon this life, we are becoming free, and we can reach a life that is less obsessive. And, we can focus on our spiritual development.

It is however a challenge to balance life in that way. Our western lifestyle is asking us to be productive, efficient and delivering more and more in less and less time. On the other hand, we are trying to improve our personal development, spiritual freedom and self awareness. We are stuck in the middle of where we are, should be and where we want to go.

Coaching is a way of giving you perspective, a third opinion and many inputs. It cannot do any harm but gives you the opportunity to stop in your tracks, take a holistic view of what is happening and move in the direction you want to go to, rather than away from where you don’t want to go.

Have a great day!

buddha

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work balance only?

Posted by Volker in cb consulting, coaching, performance on 10/09/2009

Yes, you read correctly. There is a new approach David Allen, the GTD guy, wrote in his book “Making it all work“. Or maybe it is not a new approach but a different thinking I personally like.

He says pretty much to forget about a work life balance. David argues that people put too much emphasis and pressure trying to separate the two: work & life. He further says that the concept of balance is irrelevant as you only seem to focus on it when you don’t have it.

By just focusing on what you are doing that moment, trying not to count the minutes you play with your dog as supposed to type your article for the press, it gives you more energy. It is about living in the now and thinking about “What am I doing”, “What is next”. David says that the key element is to eliminate the distraction, whatever its source, and to have focused alignment in whatever you’re doing.

I find this approach quite right. If I worked for myself or at home and let’s say I have to go shopping, then I go shopping. In return, I work late at night catching up with my emails. Of course, some companies already offer that, and it is a common approach for some. And, I would not differentiate between my work and my private life.

By desperately trying to separate the two, e.g. working 9-5 in an office, then going home and not looking at any work related things at all, would put more pressure on me. Naturally I try to not think about work when home and not thinking about home when at work. Maybe the way I demonstrate it exaggerates things, but generally speaking, I agree to not separate the two.

Personally, I don’t mind having a day off but checking and in urgent cases responding to my emails, or even make a phone call. When I get home after work, I surely want to spend as much time as possible with my boy, then put him to bed. And, if there is important work, I might just work for another hour or so. In return, I would (and can) expect my employer to give me time if my child is ill and I have to work from home, or come in late as I need to go and see the doctor with him.

But, and that is the way I understand David Allen, people in general worry too much and think too much about the “what if” rather than “what’s next”. It is about productivity and about making the most of your time. If you are officially at work or at home or if you just in “your time”. And that is what counts.

Of course for blue collar workers that have more of a regulated, maybe even machine driven work pace, things are different as they cannot really do anything else whilst supervising a production line. And, whilst being at home, there might less work to be done. Work might not be as flexible.

Bottom line: Stop Worrying, and Start Living. Dale Carnegie wrote about that more than 60 years ago.

Stop being desperate about a balance between work and life. Treat all as life and organise yourself. From there, you will be productive: for work, for life, for yourself.

Hope that makes sense.

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Turn your dreams into reality

Posted by Volker in NLP, cb consulting, coaching on 13/05/2009

If there is a dream, there is reality!

But let’s start at the beginning: Coaching is based on 3 supports.

1) Beliefs – challenge your limiting beliefs and reinforce supportive/positive ones!
2) Values – know your values and live them.
3) Goals – what do you want to achieve and how do you want to achieve it?

People say that goals are dreams with legs – they go somewhere. Or, you can put it differently, if you are dreaming to achieve something, then you can support this dream with actions and turn this dream into a reality, a goal. This goal becomes achievable when you are putting your efforts and beliefs behind it.

Coaching is based around goals. We all start in the here and now and have a reality check of our current life. What is our present state and what do we like or dislike about our current life. This could be the job, the love life, the amount of exercise we do etc. Check for the wheel of life to identify what you might want to change.

From there you define your goals and the desired state. This state is now your aim, your goal, something you need to put your mind to. As we say in NLP, now imagine you are already at your desired state and look back to your present state, how did you get there?

That might sound complicated, but if you want to cross a river, you can either think of building a bridge or you can imagine that you already crossed the river and look at the problem from the other side. You might discover a new way across, something you cannot see from your current perspective.

bridge

NLP uses that technique quite a lot. Put yourself in the corner of the room and watch yourself having this conversation or interview and evaluate yourself whilst doing so. Also, you can then watch the reaction of your opposite conversation partner and act / amend your conversation accordingly. This enables you to build stronger rapport and more effective conversations, communications and connections.

In regards to goal setting, always set positive goals. Move towards a positive goal rather than away from something negative. You don’t want to loose weight, as you focus on the weight. Focus on the healthy aspect and formulate your goal “I want to be fit and healthy”.

Also, be specific about your goals. That means it has to be measurable and reward yourself by achieving part of the goal. stepping stones are important. These stepping stones will provide you with the right feedback and you can see whether you are on track for your big goal.

And, whilst pursuing any dream, any goal, any stepping stone, think of the 3 coaching supports. Be true to your beliefs and values. Be cautious what some actions might mean to you and your environment. What costs are involved, what time etc.

By making an action plan and making sure that you have a can-do approach, you eventually will achieve your goals. If you need help defining them or setting stepping stones to reach your goals and turn your dreams into reality, please give Coach Volker a call.

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Coaching yourself

Posted by Volker in cb consulting, coaching, leadership, personal on 08/05/2009

Not too long ago I wrote about career coaching in a recession. Now, things have changed a bit and I am revisiting some great coaching resources. Also, I should expand on the time line on when the coaching in a recession is most useful.

The question if you are in a situation, like I was many years ago, where you thought that nothing would move forward and your whole life is in shambles, you decide to coach yourself. Similar to Baron von Muenchausen who pulled himself out of the swamp.

muenchhausen

Ideally I have some partner coaches I work with at cb consulting but sometimes, for smaller things, and my own dream fulfillment, I work with myself a lot. You need to be your own coach and chose mentors to work with.

As a coach you are always a leader at the same time. Leadership consists of skill, knowledge and being able to provide examples. You just cannot coach people without identifying their problems, knowing what to do and giving examples of how other people have done it, or how things would be in a similar situation. So you become a role model for your clients by being a good coach and doing what you know and be the one you are.

This sounds a bit weird. Maybe I expand on this. If you know how to pull yourself out of the swamp like Muenchhausen, then you know how to pull other people out too. You need to be confident and do the same things that you would do with clients to yourself. And, when you build up the skills and knowledge, you are the example for your clients.

This is growing into the role of a coach. You live your values and become a role model to your clients.

You need to identify
- your identity: passion, vision, ethics and doing that by being curious and observing yourself
- relationships with others: be curious about them, build rapport and set the standard needed
- facts: understand the facts and be creative in your approach, building new models

Now, if we look at the above, I cannot help but thinking of my current job as a manager. I have been managing for quite some time, additional to my coaching – or vice versa if you like.
Being a good manager also means to be a good coach.

First you need to know where you stand and know what you want, represent, what your goals and objectives are and how you can fulfil your role. This is usually done during the decision making progress of choosing a new job. Once the job has been chosen, you identify your role in more detail and set up an action plan, targets, goals and objectives.

Secondly: you build rapport, relationship and be a role model for the people you manage. Set time aside each week, or every other week to discuss their role, their aims and their objectives. Make sure you understand what they want to achieve with their role, if they feel self confident in the role and how you can support them. Let them fail if you have to but don’t make them fail on purpose. Let them learn and give them guidance.

Thirdly keep yourself up to date. With your job, the industry, your contacts, your staff, staff morale, situations at work etc. Be the one you are and be informed about as much as possible. I am not referring to gossip but to a simple understanding of what is going on.

So from coaching yourself you can take the step to be a good manager and coach to your staff. A quality I find very essential for any manager. Develop your staff….but develop yourself first.

If you want more answers about coaching, please visit our website for Personal Development Coaching.

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Island Theory – revisited

Posted by Volker in buddhism, cb consulting, coaching, personal on 01/05/2009

In May 2008 I published my essay “Island Theory“. You can still download it on my website forpersonal development and coaching – cb consulting.

Over the last few months I was wondering how far this theory still holds up and whether it is in need for a re-vamp. I thought I try to summarise what I think the theory says.

1. We go from island to island and the more islands we have conquered, the more experience we have, the more tools we have, the easier the step from one island to another.
2. Islands can be parts of life, part of a year, part of a project or just the whole life.
3. Eventually you get to an island and you settle there. And, you can build upon your experience and build a nice big home.
4. You settle on an island and build bridges to other islands. You get people to connect to you.

So, based on this short essay and the major 4 points I would like to challenge the idea a bit. Lets say you have achieved a home, a house, the dream job and network of friends and family that connect to you. You are nesting and settling down. What would the next step be, and how likely are you to go back to the “unknown” waters and trying to find another island with a bigger nest, nicer friends etc….

The hunt for bigger, better, more expensive, more flash, more money and other materialistic values is a rat race we enter the moment we aim for a career. However, can modify this need and motivation and use it inwards!

What if we settle for “any” island and decide to be happy in this stage. We love our nest, our friends, our family and are happy with the shelter the island gives us from this evil water. And, if we don’t want to progress and find another island, we are happy to stay where we are.

I believe that is where the personal development thought from my Buddhist friend comes in. The idea of developing ourselves inside us. The personal development and focus on the inside of ourselves. What energy is left? What is deep inside us? How can we be sure that if we go somewhere else that it will be better? By focusing within us we don’t change our outer circumstance.

Volker is still Volker and still earns his money and still has his friends and drives his car etc. But, inside me, I can start changing myself. Using various coaching techniques, meditation, questioning and self development tools, I can change the Volker inside. I could make him stronger, more peaceful, more patient, more of an adult, more intellectual, more fun, more of anything I want to achieve. I could get him to stop smoking (I don’t smoke btw.), stop drinking, start meditating etc. – I decide what I do with myself. You decide what you want.

Now, strengthen yourself from within helps you to develop yourself. Now, using this inside to strengthen your outside: the nest, the bridges, the relationships – that is when the island theory becomes more interesting.

A year after the writing the theory I believe that at the early stage of personal development you are seeking new and exciting places. This is until you get to the place in your life – physical/non-physical – that allows you to settle down and focus more or solely on yourself, your inner person.

And, you should use all your energy to strengthen your inner self as one day you will eventually move beyond this island again. You might take your nest, most of your friends (particularly if you have now a stronger relationship with them) and move to a better island. One that might just fulfil a little bit more of your purposes, your luxury or your change of circumstances. Maybe an island you could not afford to live on a few years back. Or the one you used to live on a few years back to which you want to return. But this time it is not the tools that decide where you go but your inner self, your decision making progress. Because you have the tools, you only have to decide where to go.

So enjoy your peace and your situation you are in. Enjoy being with your friends and enjoy the shared love. And from there, make sure you work on yourself. Don’t rush, be patient. You will never be able to plan where you are going to go and when. But if the time is right, you are going to go and you want to be ready. It might not be far but it will be the place where you always wanted to be.

I hope this philosophical journey was helpful and made you think. Because most of what you need is already there. Inside you. Go and find it!

Have a great bank holiday weekend.

Love and Kindness,
Volker

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Resources for Life – Life map

Posted by Volker in cb consulting, coaching, personal, spirituality and business on 26/02/2009

As a coach for personal development I am very interested in all sorts of theories. In the recent issue of the Saturday Financial Times I found an article about the perfect small home and this guy in Iowa who lives in a very small trailer.

However, looking through the website I found a life map which got my attention. It plans out what your focus in life is an why and how….. – really it is a “wheel of life”.

The “normal wheel of life”, used by most coaches looks like that:

wheel-of-life1

It examines certain areas of your life and analyses where you are happy with, e.g. in this example from Dave where the family part of the wheel is almost 100% in terms of achievement and happiness, whilst the money part still needs development. Anyhow, the wheel of life focuses on: career, money, health, partner, family, friends, learning and environment. You can add or remove categories, e.g. if you study “studying” or if you do a lot of sports it could be “basketball” for instance additional to health.

Now, the other wheel I found at the Resources for life, has very similar categories: Lifeways, Health, Career, Finance, Relationship, Activism and Effectiveness. I like that split.

The reason for that is the way it starts with Lifeways and the determination about your belief system. Like me being a Buddhist. It then takes you on to health and career as well as finance like the “normal coaching wheel”. However, it then splits more into relationship in general, taking into consideration the relationship in general, e.g. family and partnership.

I find the category of “activism” very interesting: Something you would die for, something you are passionate about. Exactly, how many people just live and don’t know what they really like? What they want? What makes them tick? Wow, how can we go ahead and become passionate about something. What gets you up in the morning and gets you going? What is your biggest achievement today. How can you change things today to make a better tomorrow? That is great stuff!

Effective Living is the last category. Reminds me of Buddhism in terms of letting go of material value. How can you achieve more with less?

I am sure you come across more different life maps and wheels. And, giving our lives, each wheel will be different and every map and category means something different for everyone. However, it is good to take some time, sit down and draw your own map. And, think about the passion and your life style. Anything you can improve? It is not all about finance and career. Or, can you integrate your activism and effective living into the career and finance category? Get what they call a holistic living system.

Whilst the above example of a holistic life is about Gregory’s life and approach to a “small, simple, sustainable” life I would like to take the idea a bit further.

The holistic life approach and your areas of life that map out your life should really aim at your personal life. It should identify areas that are important to you, and most likely family/relationship, career and finance would be. However, holistic mans that you need to integrate all parts in the “full circle”. It is your life where each part is dependable from the other. Means you need to have a holistic view of your life.

Ask us today for some life coaching and goal setting.

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cb consulting London

Posted by Volker in NLP, cb consulting, change management, coaching, creativity, customer service, family, philosophy, spirituality and business on 24/02/2009

I have been asked over the last few days, what cb consulting really is? What am I doing as a marketing and management consultant?

It is both a playing field for SEO and web design but also my first own company. I founded it not short of 2 years ago to start selling some of my services, e.g. performance coaching, life coaching, career coaching, trainings and seminars, to some friends and corporates.

However, at that time and even now, I am still working full time to earn my living that way. And, I do not really want to change that or give up the security of my day job.

cb consulting really is a good way of showing off my skills and offering them to the greater world. I have excelled in helping people achieving their dreams, dream jobs and personal goals.

Also, I am about to start my first online marketing consulting project – keep your fingers crossed. Combining the right tools to reach the objectives.

Coaching is not always the easiest thing to do. You don’t really want to tell people what to do but be there for guidance and helping them to identify their own goals. Only if the goal has been clarified you can lay out the path for them with the client playing the mayor part. There is no use of a coach outlining any steps to a client if the client does not know where they are going.

Sometimes clients get set-backs. Getting them back on their feet, visualising their goals and get them to re-focus is a great challenge. Only who has been down and got himself up again understand how to it is to be on the floor, not knowing what to do and where to go.

Particularly in the recession career coaching becomes very important. So tune in and let me know how I can help you today?

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career coaching….continued

Posted by Volker in cb consulting, coaching on 16/02/2009

Hello,

This last week was quite busy so I thought I pick up the topic of career coaching again. Found this interesting blog, Grow Rich Me?! It’s all about following your dreams and making the most of your life. Which in all fairness is good.

But, looking at coaching, you structure your dreams. You need to really. If you search for Career Coaching you find all sorts of sites. But what would it mean for me or cb consulting?

I have written a lot about coaching in this blog and for me it means to really give yourself some focus.

Starting with a good hour of sitting down and writing up what you want to do? What you like to do? What are you good in? What are you not good in? That gives you a good basis for defining your goals.

Goals: where do you want to be? What drives you? What gets you up in the morning? Where do you see yourself in 3, 5, 10 years time – or 20 even?

From there we work backwards. NLP does that quite often. Imagine you were already in a situation you want to be in, how did you get there?

And work it out. Step by step. Baby-steps. And, we will help you planning steps out. Where to look for a new job, how to tune your CV and cover letter, how to prepare for the interview.

That is what we do. And, in a recession that becomes more and more important.

stepping-stones

On the one hand you want to stay put and do not move, on the other hand you want to see where is the recession going. Be ready when you get made redundant or if you think your company is going down. Be the first to hit the road running. Maybe just to be prepared to do nothing as you might have more influence once you get out of the recession with your current job.

What ever motivates you, contact us today and we sort something out!

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