Archive for category NLP
new week, new clients – new decisions
Posted by Volker in change management, NLP on April 14, 2008
I do not believe it is another week. Besides a very busy day at work, I met with a “client” for Career Coaching tonight.
The goal setting process combined with a good NLP technique and the Buddhist view in combination with gut feeling – how do you do that?
You start analytically and write down the pros and cons of the existing and the new job. Purely to find out what your clients likes, dislikes, what scares her/him. S/he gives so much away by talking about it and by using certain terms.
Then you start the goal setting process, stepping stones and the approach of “if you had already achieved what you aim to achieve in this lifetime, how would you have got there“? By internally going where you would like to be in order to look back as if you had lived through your decision already, helps you to get a different perspective on it. Try going backwards on the different timeline, going via stepping stones you set before? Ever tried?
You then have the choice of deepen the “what did you achieve” question with some “how did you achieve it” and “why did you achieve it”. Get some more NLP in there by using different aspects of the decision making process, e.g. use similar terms and digg deep on the reasoning on how someone would have achieved something.
I like to bring in some Buddhist thoughts. The path does not matter as it all has been defined before……but that is an entry in itself I believe!
Then break up with the exercise, take a deep breath and go back to your analytics pros and cons sheet in order to start analytics, a decision matrix, and evaluate the whole situation. Mix it a bit with gut feeling and you will hopefully either see a result or a strong tendency on what the client really would like to do. S/he will see it her/himself, no doubt….
Job done.
Sounds like a recipe, not as easy to follow without experience but surely something for everyone to pick up on.
Leave your comments on how you last made up your mind about a difficult decision!
Hopefully speak soon,
Yours Volker Ballueder
Islands
Posted by Volker in change management, NLP, personal, philosophy on March 6, 2008
Islands, Islands – Inseln.
Years and years ago, as some wondered why I write about islands on facebook, I came up with a theory that life is like going from one island, one level to another.
You start on one shore, going into the water, life, and struggle to reach a piece of land – an island. Now, after you reached the first island, you can get a breath of fresh air, relax and have reached some kind of “higher” level. However, you would not be happy with the first island, because you aim to be at the other shoreline (if there is one, but I come back to that later).
So as years go by you go from island to island reaching a higher level in your life. More experience, more confidence, more fresh air if you like, and you just enjoy reaching them. But then you have to go back into the water to reach a new level. Some people like the island they achieved and stay, but I am a person that needs to move on and find a new island.
Now, one point to make is that NLP, TA and other techniques, meditation, Buddhism and career/personal development give you new tools in order to reach new islands quicker or easier.
As an example I used that I am almost at the level that I jump from island to island using some jet skies. However, my aim is to get airlifted, have a yacht or fly. The higher I get on the level ladder, the better the tool, the quicker the way to the next level. It is almost like a race where you chose or learn to use different tools and the speed gets quicker as you move along.
The other point is that each level is giving you great satisfaction. Happiness. And, you do not know how long/wide the ocean is (N.B. nothing is linear). Is it just from Calais to Dover with a few islands or are there more islands, e.g. we are going from NY to London, or even further. This ocean might never end until you either get insane or you reached a level of the magician (you remember the story from Bandler and Grindler in Frogs to Princes about the islands ,-)).
So, whatever you decide to do, be patient, collect tools on the islands, go into the water to reach the next. Never give up, the sky is the limit really.
Currently, I reached a new island. I know what I want, how to get there but the water is still deep and dangerous. But I am up for it. Let me breath for another few weeks, then I will be out there again to reach the next island!
Have a fabulous night!
Change – and the Generation Gap
Posted by Volker in change management, leadership, NLP on December 2, 2007
This Sunday Morning is miserable. Not easy to convince myself to go jogging but I need to and of course I want to ,-) So I will.
Let us talk about change. In October I got married and tomorrow I start my new job. That is a lot of change. According to “Holmes and Rahe, Scaling of life Change”, published in 1971 in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research – Marriage ranks with a scale value of 50 and change of work around 36 out of 100 (which is Death of Spouse). My old manager said the other day that he went to a conference that showed that people those days are going through 9 jobs in their first 10 years of working whilst his generation (he is about 40) is having 3 or 4 jobs in the same time. So maybe the scaling changed over the last 30 years.
But, change of jobs and getting married are not necessarily bad things, just the opposite. It is about the perception you have for change. I often talked about the “motivation towards to and away from”. E.g. if you change jobs because you were fired then your perception of change and the stress it causes is much higher. The opposite is true for a wedding. If you are looking forward to it and things are going well, the stress related to it is “positive stress” which is easier to cope with.
Then again, “positive stress” has the same physical impact on the body, e.g. increased heart rate, however it shows that if someone is very positive about a change then it is easier to cope with the “side effects”. Research suggests if you have a loved one that dies suddenly and unexpected, the effects on the sudden change are greater than if you know the person had a terminal illness and you see that person die. However, it would never change the grief and loss, it might just be easier to cope with the moment itself.
Whilst writing here I scan through the magazine “Personal Success” published by the Coaching Academy, and my eye caught an article about motivation of young people at the workplace. It seems that the “Matures (age over 62)” and “Baby Boomer (43-61)” are in charge of the “Generation X (28-42)” and Millennials (27 and under)”. The X-ers and Millennials do not necessarily see “hard work and loyalty, achieving a rank” as their primary goals for work. That just perfectly fits in with what I said earlier about changing jobs and taking longer to settle in the one that seems right. The one that gives someone freedom and room for personal development, “me time“.
The article points out that the younger generation have a lot of respect for their managers and their leadership and that they need to have the right “feel for the job” – if they do not feel that the job or manager are right, then they are not going to stay long in the job. Loyalty must be earned by good managers but once that has been done, one surely gets that commitment back from the younger generation. The change from management to coach? How can my boss guide me to where I would like to be?
All this and more details are published by Cam Marston “Motivating the “What’s in it for me?” Workforce”.
imprint or anchoring
Posted by Volker in NLP, philosophy on November 30, 2007
When I was graduating from Highschool pretty much 10 years ago I used to play Doppelkopf, a German card game, on a regular basis.
Now, for some reason, I decided to download a computer programme of Doppelkopf and enjoy playing it. What I find interesting that certain ways of playing it still trigger a behaviour in me. Certain ways of playing, me winning a set or the other player not playing right, still get me to shout out some phrases as if these people were real or I was still playing with my old mates.
Before you think I am crazy: those imprints in my mind, the anchoring of certain behaviour that gets triggered by a way a situation is played are fascinating. It is great to see that it works, ergo you can use it to trigger a positive behaviour in the future by creating anchors or imprints now.
Just another proof that NLP works ,-)
Systems – Imprints
Posted by Volker in NLP, spirituality and business on November 11, 2007
I was thinking today about making decisions: if people have hope for a positive decision from you and you disappoint them with a negative decision, would you actually create a negative imprint?
From my point of you I do not think so. I mean it obviously depends on how you break the news and how you think people will react to it. If I understand the system right, the one I believe in, then the other person should actually be very happy for you and wish you all the best.
Whilst that happens in most cases that people accept decisions and that people will allow you to decide against what they like, they see beyond and see that the person decides for something else, seeking happiness for the person.
Would that not mean for the person making a decision that they create a positive imprint by accepting one direction whilst creating a more negative, if not negative impression, by deciding against another direction.
Either way, the amount of “negative” can be influenced on how to break the news. Lets use an example:
Your 2 friends A and B ask you to do something with them over the weekend.
You decide to go to the football with A and create a positive imprint talking to him and making him very anxious about the upcoming event. (N.B. if you then cancel last minute due to reasons A would not understand then you would create a negative imprint.)
B will be disappointed if you break the news saying “I will go and watch the football with A”. However, you can create a more positive imprint by suggesting “you want to join” or “why don’t we arrange something for next weekend” or something along those lines. It is up to you on how well you break the news to B. What about “I go to the football with A because I like him/her more”. That would hurt and, even if true, would be unnecessary and create a negative imprint.
NLP differentiates between Conflicts and Dilemmas for decisions (examples from John McWhirter, Sensory Systems Glasgow):
a) Conflict: short term decision on either continuing what you do or stop doing what you do; e.g. if you are having a good time you could continue to do so and will develop on something different. Whilst on the other hand you could stop having a good time and go home, e.g. going to a safe place. Then you make that decision again.
b) Dilemma: if you have a good time and look for a long term decision you can ask for the benefits until both sides agree what is better (sum of imprints zero) and then make a decision on either one way (yes) or another (no). You will still continue to have a good time but in “one way or another”.
To sum it up, we have to make decisions in life and will always create positive and negative imprints doing so. But through the way we make decisions, break news or even decide we can arrange for the imprints to be more or less positive/negative and influence our consequences from it.
Act As If
Posted by Volker in motivation, NLP, performance on September 25, 2007
I noticed another article in my magazine, going back to NLP “acting as if” – reminds me of the Secret, acting as if you are already have something, and seek for something and really want something, putting a picture in your mind.
The article talks about people that wanted a promotion at work and started to “act if” they already got it. Changed their lifestyle, hairstyle, daily style and within weeks either got a promotion or what they wanted – down to synchronicity.
That reminds me of really wishing for something and it comes through. But also, I think that, like my NLP trainer used to say, if you for instance start thinking of something to buy in your head, you already “bought it”, even if not physically.
Where we going from there? Take little steps towards your goal. If you like to be the CEO of a company, learn how to run it and make your knowledge available to people. Show people what you can do and how you can lead them and get yourself the first position in management. From there learn about strategies and give strategic advise…and one day, you will be there. Taking small steps at a time and you will get where you want.
The 7 habits of highly effective people do the same. They talk about “starting with the end in mind”. Imagine you are already a CEO, how did you get there? And, using stepping stones that you can write down on a time line, check against your performance to see your progress.
Be who you want to be – act as if!
Passion and Profits
In one of the many newsletters I receive a day I got an offer to attend a free 3 day seminar with Mr. Christopher Howard. 2 tickets, worth over 1800 pounds. And, I am even off all three days.
I was afraid that it would turn into a “happy clappy NLP seminar where we are all happy and make the best of our ability as soon as we leave the room” class. Therefore, I decided to buy his book “Turning Passions into Profits” – if you search by title at Amazon do not forget the ‘s’ on passions, otherwise there are not hits. Guess they could work on their Internal Search Engine which used to be known for its efficiency.
Anyway, obviously the advertisement for the seminar worked and I bought at least a book (second hand of course) and wonder what it is all about. I will let you know of course. Just bought about a million books, so might be some time.
Btw 2nd hand books. If anyone is interested, I am selling quite a few books at the moment at Amazon.co.uk: Listing Amazon
NLP Revistited (3)
Posted by Volker in motivation, NLP on September 12, 2007
Just tonight, having the man flu again, I am looking at the concept of the CIRCLE OF EXCELLENCE which is an anchoring exercise.
I remember doing this exercise years ago. One goes through a situation where one e.g. excelled in something and at the moment one feels the peak of the action, then one steps into an imaginary circle on the ground. This circle now represents the feeling, not the actual situations, a state of being rather than a state of doing.
If one now goes backwards one will experience how one got to that state of excellence. For instance the state of excellence is finishing a marathon. The way leading up to it would be hard training, different milestones. If one now moves forward, is the feeling of achieving it still the same? Or does one demand more, or could one have done less to achieve the same?
The motivation to achieve something PLUS the attainment, e.g. the achieving itself gets us in the state of excellence. Any gap to what we like, want or need to achieve leads to irritation.
This irritation, being out of balance, will activate something and will lead to a motivation to get what one wants. If the irritation is to run marathon, one will activate the training to get motivated to train for the achievement of the marathon to end of with a state of excellence.
However, if we now think about this circle of excellence, what can we use it for? A good example is given on this website. Get into this circle and feel how you achieved something. Step out and add more thing you could have done (or remove) and try to step into that circle again. It might just create that motivation to do more to feel even better.
I guess it is not easy to explain but try it out for yourself. An easy, self-anchoring tool. Enjoy.
The Secret
Hello Everyone,
Has been a while but things have been busy. Not only did I manage to drown the car but also something told me that by doing so I prevented worse. Still not done it on purpose though – but it is a weird feeling as both my partner and I are certain that it meant to be and helped us staying healthy.
What I am describing here is almost as scary as the Secret, see last entry for link, which I watched tonight. It is all about where our thoughts are that the universe reacts to that energy flow and makes things happen. NLP would call it “moving towards to something and not away from”. We need to focus on what we really want and our dreams and wishes come true.
Phrase it positive. You do not want to lose weight. You want to be slim. Slim is the word you focus on not weight. Imagine yourself being skinny and you will be.
Will it work? I will do the test. I have so many things I want and wish for. Monetary/Materialistic wishes. But also other wishes like happiness, health and love.
I am curious – join me in the experience of the secret.
Train your brain 1/9
Posted by Volker in NLP, performance on June 18, 2007
Now I found the ultimate book by Dr. Harry Alder in my shelf for this blog:
I am flabbergasted. This book needs to be a guideline for the next 21 days – or as often as I can. Let me aim to get this book’s ideas across by the end of August, it will absolutely fit into the idea of NLP revisited. Dr. Harry Alder has written a lot of very interesting NLP books, surely most of the techniques are not new but show a way of using NLP. So here we go with session one (please note that my aim is not to replace the book but to discuss the chapters, you should still buy the book and other books by Harry and I will not copy any extracts here):
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unconscious incompetence
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conscious incompetence
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conscious competence
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unconscious competence
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