Archive for category Baby
Progress Report Colin
Hello,
What might sound like a chore is not. I just thought, and my wife told me off, that I haven’t given an update on Colin lately.
Last week he turned 5 months. Not only did he start to sit up, he also got his first two teeth. It is amazing to see how quickly he seems to develop once of a sudden. I helped him last weekend to start rolling over but he starts doing it himself now. He is actually turning 180 degrees in his bed to get his great grandmother’s toy. He is still so lovely when you wake him up in the morning, he looks at you, realises it is you and then puts on this big smile you just cannot resist.
And, of course he loves his hippo in the bath I was writing about yesterday. He has changed so much and is given so much more back from what he used to. I remember the first few weeks when I was struggling to see the “joy of fatherhood”. But instead, I now really love to see him grow, doing more things each day and explore things too. He is soo curious! Also, he discovered his feet, so not long now and he will be crawling all over the place.
He also started laughing a lot, crying less and properly eating. Luckily he passed the “blowing raspberry” stage whilst eating very quickly. Saves a lot of cleaning 
I will shortly publish some pictures, however you can see them on my Facebook profile or on request we can send you a link to our online album. He is so gorgeous, and I am not saying it because I have to! He just brings so much joy into our life, it is amazing.
With Love,
Volker
Being a dad – 8 week review
Today I want to look back. Back to almost 8 weeks of being a first time dad.
The first 3 weeks were very busy. As I wrote previously, we had to go back to hospital and in between us getting used to the new addition to our family, I had to go and find myself a job. But it all worked out and after we had him 3 and a half weeks, I went back to work. Maybe that is what the horoscope on Friday was all about?
Looking back my job change could have not come at a better time. I had over 3 weeks with my little Colin Heinrich, could feed him, change him, bath him. However, already then I noticed that my wife took over quite a lot. And, I want to be honest, I not only let her but really liked her to. This is not because I don’t want to deal with him and his mess, or I don’t want to be responsible for him but the idea my wife and I have is that she will stay at home as long as possible to take care of him.
So will we have a typical 1950s marriage where Jenny is the housewife and I am the husband and bread winner? I don’t hope so, and Jenny surely doesn’t think so 
I always say to Jenny she is the home manager, e.g. she needs to delegate to me what needs to be done and I rely on her being able to manage the household. This includes for instance to iron my shirts. We both hate it, so she is managing me to outsource it Luckily there is a dry cleaner and ironing shop down the road which takes care of the problem. I even suggested a cleaner but at the moment we are managing and wanting to manage without one. However, this might change, so I can focus on work and the family at the weekend, and Jenny can solely spend all her energy for the boy. I believe this is a perfect life?
Whilst this sounds very posh, it is not. I hardly know anyone in our situation who doesn’t outsource some of the house work when having a child and the other partner is working, in my case I leave the house at 7.45 am and normally return about the same time in the evening. Living in London comes with a long commute and a career with long hours in the office. But as dedicated as I am to my job, as dedicated is Jenny to having children and a family. The perfect symbiosis.
So looking at the situation after 8 weeks I notice that Jenny does all night time feeds. That works out fine, so that I get 5 hours of sleep in one go, sometimes a bit longer. But I still wake up and you don’t sleep as well because you listen whether the boy is crying or not. And I don’t mind getting up if I have to, but find it difficult to be up most of the night and then go to work. Before he was born, I was sure that I could cope with little sleep much better, but after about 6 weeks, it starts wearing you down. With new feeding habits we even get a little bit longer to sleep and I use the weekend afternoons for another nap to catch up on some sleep.
Also, I was complaining a while ago that I didn’t get enough back from Colin. But that changed a lot. He is now following you with his eyes, builds stronger rapport and is more interactive. He smiles at you whilst you rock him to sleep or when you tickle him. Or when he has a poo
The older the baby gets, the more interactive it becomes and the more I enjoy it. I cannot say that I didn’t enjoy it before but the joy increases day by day. He now settles easier (most times) and daddy is used to changing nappies or bathing him. However, with increased work load, I see less of the boy during the week because we trying to get him used to going to bed early. That is surely something I don’t enjoy but cannot change.
Often, when I talk to older folk, they say that they regretted that they didn’t see their children growing up because of work and extracurricular activities. However, I do not not see him growing up, I just see less of it. I make up by standing on his cot before I go to bed or trying to spend more time with him at the weekend. It is either that or giving up my job and career which I so much enjoy. And that is not an option, also because I am the “classic bread winner”
So after 8 weeks I can look back and say that it was all well worth it and … that people are right saying that having a baby is more work than anyone ever tell you it is!
Sunday Column (22)
Posted by Volker in Baby, Sunday Column, buddhism, garden on 26/07/2009
What an exciting week. My second full week in my new job and I am getting busy. Slowly but surely I am getting to a routine and getting things done. New leads, new friends and more fun. I am loving it! Really!!!
So what have I been doing outside work?
Monday was Hansel and Gretel’s first birthday. At night I went to a friend’s place and taught him some basic SEO techniques. Luckily he stopped me after 3 hours as I would have carried on, just scratching the surface of Social Media. Just by explaining others what I know, I notice how much I enjoy the idea of search and performance marketing in general. I always thought I wanted to change topics within the industry at some point and look into a more technology based products but I guess the “search fever” has taken over and I feel very comfortable and happy within this field. And, I am still learning daily!
The rest of the week just flew by. I feel tired, exhausted and run down. Because of the swine flu I am paranoid that it might be it but probably it is just tiredness paired with exhaustion. Basically sleeping 5 hours on average every night and not having weekends to catch up on sleep wears you down. They say that after 6 weeks babies get easier and sleep more. Fingers crossed. Still, my wife is the one who gets out at night, and I find it remarkable how she copes with that. I love her very much!
Saturday was very productive. I dug up a bucket (!) full of potatoes and about a dozen onions. 
It is a great feeling to harvest what you grew yourself. It is great to know that you can grow enough food to survive. Maybe not this year though However, the carrots never grew properly, the remaining salad got too wet and didn’t look good. So the only things still growing are the courgettes and the broccoli. And, funny enough, tomatoes which I never planted in the first place. Very weird. Our beans are still trying to grow too but it doesn’t look too good 
We are getting lots of raspberries though.
I hope I take enough learning from that and plant less potatoes next year and give the carrots more space and light. Also, the garlic didn’t prosper, so I guess we need to buy some of our ingredients this winter.
To finish off a good a good day, and the warmest for 3 weeks, we had a BBQ at our neighbours. That was great, lots of vegetables and meat and wine
On Sunday I donated a good amount to the guide dog charity. Why did I do that?
It is simple, we have a little Buddhist shrine where we donate little things, food (rice for example), water and money. 
The latter we donate in 5 pounds steps, e.g. 5 gold coins. We have collected money for over 2 years and I donated money for my job hunt, for the health of my baby and my wife’s health, and so on. However, we thought, being so happy and feeling so fortunate in life, that we should take the money and donate it for a good cause.
Guide dogs is a charity that obviously helps blind people in two ways. Firstly it helps them getting around in everyday life but also it gives blind people a comrade and friend. I feel very strong about that because blindness is something I believe is very hard to cope with. So we felt very strong about donating that money towards this charity.
Also, we managed to speak to our neighbours who are harassed and bullied by some other neighbours in the street for wanting to get a planning submission for a new home. The plan does not seem too bad to me and I believe that if there is enough space that people should be able to build the home they like. Maybe we can help them achieving just that. So we wrote a letter to the council supporting their planning application. Hopefully not too late!
We also managed to say hello to one of our old neighbours. She is 93 and it was lovely to see her holding little Colin. I remember when we lived above her about 3 years ago. When she found out I was German, she wouldn’t talk to me for days because she got bombed out several times in the 2nd world war. It took some of my charm to convince her that I am not that bad and we are friends now. She was delighted to see the boy, my wife and even me! Bless her.
Next week shall be interesting, as I continue with some more tests in hospital on Thursday. Fingers crossed that is the final stretch of consultants to see.
Have a good week, be safe!
Sunday Column (21)
Posted by Volker in Baby, Colin, Sunday Column on 19/07/2009
Time seems to fly, doesn’t it? I keep saying that every week.
This was my first full week at my new job and I really enjoy it. I believe it is the first job change where I change within my expertise, working in the field of Search Marketing, Social Media and Digital. And, I really enjoy my new colleagues, the office, the work, just everything.
On Tuesday I was supposed to meet a friend in Soho. I tried finding him, but instead I ended up in a studio where they did some nude paintings. Not that I minded, but was kind of confused. Guess that is Soho for you, you never know what’s behind the next door. Unfortunately, I never found my friend who I still believe was the model
On Thursday I noticed my progress in Tai Chi after practicing almost every day. I have been getting into a routine to do a 10 minute practice session every morning before I go to work. Not on Thursday though. I slept in and only got up a 7.44, leaving me 20 minutes to catch my train. Luckily my neighbour gave me a lift and I made it in time. I only slept in 2 days in my life and surely that is the last thing I wanted to do in my first day at my new work.
On Friday for lunch I met a good friend for a catch up and at night I met another friend of mine in the Hospital Club. If I say friend this is due to us knowing each other for over 2 years, however, never really had the chance or time to sit down and just chat. And we did just that on Friday and it was really good. And, as he didn’t drink alcohol, I didn’t drink either, ending up with lots of Apple Mint drinks. Very enjoyable night.
Saturday got us some more “baby visitors”. Our friends from Essex came over and we spent a lovely day in Beckenham, having pints and food in the Ye Ole George. Colin behaved himself most of the time and honestly, I just felt knackered after an afternoon in town.
I seem to be coming down with a cold or something. Of course I am paranoid that it is the Swine Flu, but that might just me thinking that because it is all over the news. My throat is a bit sore and I could sleep a lot.
My wife luckily does most night shifts with the boy and I am left with the “just before bed” feed. However, I just don’t seem to get enough sleep and with the weather being poorly, muggy and me feeling too warm and uncomfortable, I just seem to be worn out. That is of course only temporary. They say after 6 weeks, e.g. end of next week, babies are getting quieter and I hopefully get some better nights sleep. I probably shouldn’t complain, it could be a lot worse, but guess being tired just makes you moan The boy is really great and gets more interactive by the day. Really enjoying it!
Sunday, as of above, was just chilling out. We had to do some stuff in the house and sort some bits and bobs. But that was it really.
Have a great week. The weather isn’t suppose to get much better, but enjoy the British summer anyway
reflection on tradition
Tradition, they say, is not about preserving the ashes. It is all about keeping the flame burning.
I am a member of a German Fraternity, Corps Franconia. We fence and accept any member, no matter which political, religious or ethical background that person is. I loved being an active member and also joined the London meetings. As an alumni I support the younger generation. It works like a pension system – just that it really works. When I was younger I got cheap beers and accommodation and now the younger generation does.
Anyhow, the reason for posting here are thoughts I have as a new daddy. We named our son Colin after my wife’s late brother and Heinrich after my granddad. These names have both history and Heinrich even tradition within our family. It was important for me to give my son a name that is related to both our family histories.
My wife and I want to teach our son where his names are coming from and what they mean to us and hopefully what they might mean to him. You might think of Hellinger and any pressure we might put him under. But we don’t want to put any pressure on him at all. At the end of the day it is his decision what he wants to do with his history and whether he likes to carry on the tradition, maybe naming his children after his granddad or dad We just want him to be connected to his roots. A Scottish-German boy, born in England. His god parents are German, Scottish, English-Turkish and Kenian-Indian. We love to give him the influence of the country we live in.
At his birth, without asking, I assume we had about 10 nationalities. African, European, Asian…..and that is what makes London so great. However, coming back to tradition, as said initially, it is not important to have a shrine and keep ashes of loved ones or of your family history in there. It is about passing the values on, family values in particular, keeping dreams and rituals alive in a society where all of those individual ones seem to be melted together.
I just hope that Colin will grow up with an understanding of his history and tradition and that he values the same things his families has done for years. To grow up to be a Clouston-Ballueder and to be the one that carries on with the tradition. There is a lot of hope on these small shoulders, but it is with love, support and no pressure whatsoever. I just wanted to write about, how proud I am of having this wee man and thank my wife!
If Colin reads that in a few years time, he might be laughing at his old man, however – just some personal thoughts
Sunday Column (18)
Posted by Volker in Baby, Colin, Sunday Column, personal on 28/06/2009
Another week? Not a normal week, that is for sure. Monday I spent all day preparing for a big presentation on Tuesday. That presentation went really well, showing off my knowledge about incorporating SEO, PPC and Social Media in Business Development/Marketing: my topic, my passion! That was good and the feedback was good too.
Another couple of companies and recruitment consultants got back to me and it was all looking good for offers, opportunities and future job offerings. Given the recession, I have done well securing interviews and offers. Now, fingers crossed.
However, nothing was decided early this week. Wednesday through to Friday I spent waiting. Waiting for 2 things: Jobs of course but, almost more important, waiting to understand my boy.
Colin decided to get louder, more noisy and grumpy. Oh dear, whilst it is totally normal, we didn’t know what to do. We had a health visitor around who gave us a great introduction on what they do and how they monitor babys’ progress. I should mention the health visitor came as a routine and not because Colin got louder! There is great support for children and families here in the UK. Also we had someone around that solely looks after breast feeding mums. That was helpful too. Overall, Colin is more awake, needs more attention and just takes up more time. Difficult to hold him and do work or write blogs at the same time, but we are coping
So overall this week was all about our wee boy. Getting an understanding of his needs and wants and see how much we need to feed him, what kind of food (bottle or breast) and if he is ok. Because you are worrying if he does not settle at all. Hence it is good to get advice on what to do and the support scheme here in the UK is fabulous. It might be better in other countries, but for what we need, I am very surprised how good it is. At least I know my taxes and NI are well spent … at least in some areas.
Bottle or breast? That decision is really with the mother, mainly because she is the “main feeder“. However, whilst men always want women to breast feed, I think it is important to take the mother into consideration as well. This article from KindsHealth says “The AAP says babies should be breastfed exclusively for the first 6 months. Beyond that, the AAP encourages breastfeeding until at least 12 months, and longer if both the mother and baby are willing.” That is in an ideal world. The quality of breast milk, they say, is better for the baby and will avoid some allergies in the future. And, by using formula, “be assured that your baby’s nutritional needs will be met“.
So feeding formula is nothing to worry about, probably less to worry about for the mum because she knows how much milk she gives to her baby. This is an ongoing discussion we have, and many other parents I was speaking to, and it comes down to personal choice, and the mother’s feeling. After all her sanity and her well being are as important as the baby’s needs. So I support my wife in whatever she decides to do.
Enough about that – could write a whole blog post about it. My paternity leave ended this Friday. However, I took Monday and Tuesday off as well. Reason is that I hope to sort out my job situation for the 6th of July and not return to my current work at all. But, without official confirmation, I don’t want to blog about it yet.
Friday night we had some friends around and with the muggy weather watered down our thirst with wine, whisky and had some pizza. Saturday and Sunday really flew past, and I had great moments with my boy. I really appreciate the time I can take at the moment to see him grow up and everyone warns me that this time never comes around again. Of course it doesn’t but will I realise it in time.
Have a good week next week and I keep you posted on the job situation.
Sunday Column (17)
This week was overwhelming. What should I say?
I cut down on the interviews a bit because I really want to enjoy the time with my wee boy. He is growing so quickly and is VERY cute! We decided to put pictures online and on Facebook but not making them all publicly available. So please contact me or my wife if you want to see some more.
Monday night was a hail storm. I put pictures of that on Facebook too. Crazy weather for early June, I have to say!
Tuesday we went back to hospital. Colin was diagnosed with over 10% weight loss (10.7%) and jaundice. Both are relatively normal and after many tests and endless waiting in the hospital, we got the “all ok” stamp. Jenny needed to stay in hospital with the boy and I went home. However, after we had such a good experience with the hospital, Princess Royal in Farnborough, we were highly disappointed with this stay. Each midwife said something different, confusing the new mother and father, stressing us out and pushed us beyond our comfort zone. I would have expected more empathy, care and respect from professional midwifes. Some midwifes even admitted that their colleagues are “bad“. Anyhow, we are home again, and we are happy again and wee Colin is well. He is eating a lot and already has put on a lot of weight. I so love him!
This episode resulted in me taking the decision to cancel another meeting with a recruitment consultant. I have to say that there are very good ones out there that really care about you and the job you want to get into. Some just ignore you, don’t care and play with you, knowing you might be desperate to find a job. I am not overly, so got really annoyed with some. One of the biggest agencies in our industry, didn’t even manage to get back to me although I applied to 2 jobs, phoned twice, and added them on instant messenger. Funny enough they have a few jobs going I was put forward through other agencies. Really bad. Once I have found a job, I might just write a bit about my experience and tell you which recruitment consultants are good and which ones I did not like
Thursday and Friday we managed to chill out a bit and prepare the house for the arrival of my mother in law. She arrived late Friday and we had a really good time. 3 generations in one little house for a weekend. What a brilliant time we had.
The amount of presents we got is overwhelming. People are so generous and caring. This is so fantastic. Thank you all so much for your pressies and cards. We will respond asap.
Colin on Fathers Day
Besides the immense time I am spending during my paternity leave to help Jenny and little Colin, I still go for interviews. This is a shame but needs to be done, e.g. I am very thankful to have the opportunity to get interviewed by great companies and hope to have a new position soon. I keep you posted. Hopefully, once I have a decision, I can take another week off – just for the family.
On my Balamadana project, the blog I write with the Buddhist monk, I wanted to give you an update. Marcelo who was a monk when I met him and then left his monk hood in London, and we then started the blog to write about Buddhism and Management. He now decided to go back and become a monk again, he is being re-ordained in Brazil. I am very very happy for him and think it is a great step for him and he will truly enjoy it. Unfortunately, this means the project Balamdana will be on hold for a while and I am thinking if I continue there or continue to introduce a Buddhist column into this blog. I keep you posted.
Wish me luck for next week. Fingers crossed and I keep you posted.
Love and Happiness from all of us,
Volker
Sunday Column (16)
This week was a week of waiting. And it was worth waiting for!
My patience was stretched, far too stretched for my liking. But with the tube strike there were no more interviews this week and with the imminent arrival of our son, there was little scope to commit to any either. So they have been re-scheduled for next week, fingers crossed!
So this week was focused on one thing – BABY
And, he arrived, much much quicker than anticipated. On Friday, just after 3 pm in the afternoon, Colin Ballueder arrived. 3.7 kg heavy and 53 cm long – nothing compared to his dad who was 3.9 kg and 57 cm but that is a few years ago . He big shoes to fill, although his feet are rather out of proportion already (which of course he got from his mum).
To have a baby is difficult to describe. It still feels unreal although my wife is sitting over at the couch now and trying to feed him. It is overwhelming, nothing like you ever thought how it would happen. It all went very quick at the end and we didn’t expect him until earliest 6 pm but then he decided to come out much quicker. That was a relief for his mother. In total we “only” spend a little less than 19 hours prior to the birth in hospital – not too bad actually And, the “act of him coming out” was only around 30-45 minutes. The waiting is really the hardest part.
Colin has spent his first night at home and settled quite well. Some people call it attachment parenting, I call it comforting, and touching your baby. He wants to be held and hear you breathe, he wants to hear your heart beat.
So many people have emailed and called and send text messages. We are so grateful and thankful for his arrival and the amount of positive wishes for him, his mother and me.
If we look into history, then Colin was born on the same day as:
- John A. Roebling, bridge engineer (1806)
- Chick Corea, jazz pianist (1941)
- Egon Schiele, painter (1890)
- Anthony Eden, Earl of Avon, British statesman (1897)
- George H. W. Bush, president (1924)
- Harriet Martineau, writer and social crusader (1802)
Going by those people he could either be an engineer, artist, or politician. I still hope for basketball or rugby, but we shall see. It will be his decision one day to make up his mind what he wants to do.
Other things that happened on this day in time can be found at MSN Encarta. He is a Gemini as a star sign:
Geminis are thought to be quick-witted, intellectual, talkative, and mischievous. They value learning and may bore easily.
Oh dear, just the dad: talkative and mischievous and intellectual as well (of course).
Being rather exhausted, I leave it with this update for today. I hope you enjoy reading my blog and I will have some interesting posts coming up next week about brain power and also about twitter. So stay tuned.
If you wish to see more pictures of Colin, please email us as we will have more personal ones protected in private album.
Thanks again for this great event, the wishes and the love.
Wish you all a nice week and myself a successful week.
Yours
Volker and family
Colin Heinrich Ballueder
Exactly a year after we moved into our new house, almost 101 years after his great grand dad and just about 65 years after his grand mother on the Ballueder side, Colin Heinrich Ballueder arrived today at 15.06 pm – 53 cm, 3.7 kg and absolutely gorgeous.
Jenny and I are happy, tired, chuffed, well and cannot share the joy enough with everyone.
If you haven’t received an email, please go to his website, Colin Heinrich Ballueder.
More updates shortly.
Love and Kindness, Happiness and Joy from us.
Jenny, Volker and Colin
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