Volker’s blog

Welcome to my personal blog. I have been writing this blog for over 15 years, and love sharing my views of the world. I work as transformational coach (career, life and business coaching), a trusted advisor and business consultant; this includes mindfulness trainings. I also host a podcast on success, wrote a bestselling book and published an online coaching course on how to #BeBetter. Feel free to follow the links on the left-hand side, or reach out to me directly!

The Power of Now

Looking further into my essay I saw Tolle’s book “The Power of Now” which does cover the topic of focusing on the now, the actual day, “carpe diem” so to speak, instead of focusing on either past or future.

Many many people seem to use the past as an excuse for what is happening in the now and excusing themselves about things that might happen in the future.

Without going into much detail it seems that we can only enlighten ourselves if we do focus on what is happening just precise this moment. This very second or Milli-second. Why bother about what has happened. Too many theories in my opinion focus on the idea of the past influencing our lives – time line therapy to cure what has happened? I used to live in the past quite a lot myself and found my personal way of living in the now.

However, looking at myself, I live in the future too. Aspirations, goals, wants and needs. Salary expectations, new job and family – often I think “what if I reached my dream income of lets say 100K?” – to be honest, if I ever achieve it, then I would want 200K and so forth. Death is definite, it puts an end to it all, doesn’t it? Maybe it doesn’t but then we move away from the now. We talk about that another time.

But yes, if we stop worrying about what might be and what we achieve and what might happen, we might start living in the now and focus on what is important at the moment. Because only that counts and really works in favour or disadvantage of the future. But please do not forget to think about the future, set goals etc. – but do not be too fixed with it and do not let them influence your now.

And, if you have issues from your past that influence your now, then let it go, use therapy and live your life – I had almost written “as if it would be your last day”. Not sure, maybe we should but do not exaggerate. There might be a tomorrow ,-)

Good night.

Perception – or what you like to see, feel or hear

Today’s post has nothing to do with a great revelation. It is purely that I was picking up on something and thought I express my thoughts here about people’s perception.

Everyone knows if people think that all “green tomatoes” are sour then there will never be a person that is actually saying “Yes, I try a green tomato because it might not be sour.” – therefore, there is the proof, all green tomatoes are sour. (For the NLP people I highlighted a few words in the last sentence.)

Now, we can take this into any context – racial discrimination would be most classical example. I am a member of a German fraternity – some of which are more political orientated whilst others are more religious orientated, whilst my group, the Corps, are very tolerant and personal development orientated.

With this example there are two ways you can approach any fraternity student, either as being religious or political involved. Which one would be the right one? As all tomatoes are green or in this case yellow, it must be one of the two. However, the simple example of prejudice and perception shows that there are more than yellow and green tomatoes out there and that those tomatoes, although being green or yellow could be of different taste, e.g. a religious orientated fraternity might be more catholic or more protestant orientated. And, it shows that my fraternity group is actually in the group of the red tomatoes, neither yellow or green, and that that there is no pattern you can apply to any of those colours/groups.

The reason for my thoughts today is that there are still “friends” out there that from my perspective and perception seem to look for a certain colour of tomato. And I find that, living in London where you find more than red, green and yellow tomatoes, this is a very wrong thing to do. I was discussing with a friend yesterday that it is a shame for people to see things just for the sake of “wanting to see things”. Having blinkers that just do not allow any lateral thinking or viewing of things.

So, before I get into a Sunday preaching mood I better let you go with those thoughts and my best wishes for you to try and stop at the next yellow tomato to find out whether it is sour. You might be positively surprised!

Personal Note

Dear Readers,

My apologies for not being more consistent in writing at the moment. Of course there are reasons to it.

Firstly, I do have little time. CB Consulting is my “private hobby/job”, meaning I have a main job for a living. Latter is about to change and in 1 weeks time. That is all exciting but also keeps me quite busy to get up to speed with things and sorting out my life.

However, I have not forgotten. I actually got in touch with a spiritual teacher so to speak. I have not called him yet but we emailed a few times and we touch base next week. This is very exciting as I hope to find more of myself and also hope for more input for the essay too. But, and what do Buddhist say, do what you think feels right – so I also want to learn to be better for others.

As you can see I am not lazy, I am honestly busy. Also had a great chance to catch up with a lot of friends this week.

Then, I think I mentioned that I read David Meerman Scott “The New Rules of Marketing and PR” – I have pretty much finished the book and I love it. Shows me why I love the industry of Online and Digital Marketing so much.

David (his blog is http://www.webinknow.com/) has a lot of tips I want to look at in order to push the profile of my blog. One of course is for me to write on other blogs – again that takes time but I promise it will happen.

– Blog Search Engine: http://www.technorati.com/ – I joined them today.
www.feedblitz.com – the name reminds me of my German history. I asked for email reminders for my blog and see what happens. Need to explore that tool more.
www.squidoo.com – not really sure if I want to subscribe to that. But I have to say, David really knows the web. Wonder if some pages just never made it across the pond ,-)

I guess that would be it for this Saturday morning. As my wife is not working this weekend I promised to spend some time with her.

Have a good weekend everyone and I surely will be back shortly.

Synopsis

I decided that I might start an essay and thought of an outline of the whole – below the synopsis, the summary of what the essay might contain.

This essay will deal with a theory that everything one does in his/her life will have an effect on one’s life.
While this is a bold statement, there is more to it than just coming up with a basic idea but also to develop a model, bringing several theories together.

After a short introduction of the thesis and the assumptions that have to be made in order to make sense of the analogy and model, there will be an introduction of the underlying theories. Those are foremost Buddhist principles; using those principles and the understanding of Buddhism and the effects of imprints, one uses Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) to actually effectively model those principles to use them in a business context. The basic mechanical equations used to undermine the model are also introduced.

The thesis will then be outlined and with a combination of the above principles, new ideas and models will be formed to show how “business and spirituality” can work together in a profitable way. Limitations will be shown and the use of creativity to possibly better understand the model or even show a deeper understanding of using the thesis in a daily sense.

In the end there will be a conclusion of the application of the model and the way it will be possible to apply them in business; also a discussion will show how helpful the model really is and if anyone would be able to use it.

In order to understand the theory the reader is not obliged to be a believer in Buddhism nor have a deeper understanding of either Buddhism or NLP. However, a certain open mindedness for both ideas will be helpful to understand the thesis and apply it to business and maybe other “every day life” situations.

Without going into detail about other religions there is a chance that the discussed Buddhist principles are common in other religions. Buddhism is used as an example because the author was firstly introduced to the principles in this culture. None of this essay is in any way meant to be discriminated against any religion or belief.

essay

After the last entry I was wondering if anyone reading my blog has had some experience in the energy field and if someone would be able to help me getting a sensible outline for an essay.

Although I am not sure whether I will have time to write an essay on it, it might be worthwhile starting one and publishing abstracts here.

A friend said he tried modelling an energy system based on Buddhist and non-Buddhist thoughts but with little success. However, I was wondering if one could simplify a model and outline an essay as follows:

  • energy systems in general
  • including influences like e.g. Hellinger, family constellation, history in general terms
  • Buddhist and other religious influential thoughts
  • Emotional Intelligence
  • developing a “basic model” for small groups
  • extending that model to business / work environments
  • finding a model that can easily be implemented to a SME or team of max. 30
  • Conclusion if applicable / field test

I am curious to hear your opinions.

Systems – Imprints

I was thinking today about making decisions: if people have hope for a positive decision from you and you disappoint them with a negative decision, would you actually create a negative imprint?

From my point of you I do not think so. I mean it obviously depends on how you break the news and how you think people will react to it. If I understand the system right, the one I believe in, then the other person should actually be very happy for you and wish you all the best.

Whilst that happens in most cases that people accept decisions and that people will allow you to decide against what they like, they see beyond and see that the person decides for something else, seeking happiness for the person.

Would that not mean for the person making a decision that they create a positive imprint by accepting one direction whilst creating a more negative, if not negative impression, by deciding against another direction.

Either way, the amount of “negative” can be influenced on how to break the news. Lets use an example:

Your 2 friends A and B ask you to do something with them over the weekend.

You decide to go to the football with A and create a positive imprint talking to him and making him very anxious about the upcoming event. (N.B. if you then cancel last minute due to reasons A would not understand then you would create a negative imprint.)

B will be disappointed if you break the news saying “I will go and watch the football with A”. However, you can create a more positive imprint by suggesting “you want to join” or “why don’t we arrange something for next weekend” or something along those lines. It is up to you on how well you break the news to B. What about “I go to the football with A because I like him/her more”. That would hurt and, even if true, would be unnecessary and create a negative imprint.

NLP differentiates between Conflicts and Dilemmas for decisions (examples from John McWhirter, Sensory Systems Glasgow):

a) Conflict: short term decision on either continuing what you do or stop doing what you do; e.g. if you are having a good time you could continue to do so and will develop on something different. Whilst on the other hand you could stop having a good time and go home, e.g. going to a safe place. Then you make that decision again.

b) Dilemma: if you have a good time and look for a long term decision you can ask for the benefits until both sides agree what is better (sum of imprints zero) and then make a decision on either one way (yes) or another (no). You will still continue to have a good time but in “one way or another”.

To sum it up, we have to make decisions in life and will always create positive and negative imprints doing so. But through the way we make decisions, break news or even decide we can arrange for the imprints to be more or less positive/negative and influence our consequences from it.

Mike Farrell

I just finished reading Mike Farrell’s Book “Just call me Mike” – I am amazed and thought before I drop Mike an email and tell him how much I like his book and his attitude it might be good to write a few lines here. He might read it (if you do, please leave a comment).

To be honest, the reason I bought this book was because Mike played BJ in M*A*S*H, a TV series I absolutely love. What I did not know is that he is a human rights activist, passionate ambassador for a better life on this planet and a dedicated husband and father. He wrote endless journals and publishes them on his website.

I had to stop me from crying while reading his book full of passion and love for others more than once. He amazes me and shows me how little I have done so far to improve the life of others, how selfish I have been compared to him.

He did not stop me from being inspired, amazed and motivated to start helping others who are less fortunate than me. Creating a positive impact on this planet, for others. Thank you.

Mike, you are great!

Spiritual Coaching

Hello All,

Just yesterday I read in one of my many newsletters about spiritual coaching. Very interesting that there do not seem to be too many people out there doing it (from what I gathered from the newsletter anyway). To be fair, what is spiritual coaching and how would one define it?

A definition I found was on http://www.spiritualcoachingcenter.com/

Spiritual Coaching Center specializes in helping clients move past their fears, discover their true selves, and get on with the passionate pursuit of their dreams.

Later on the side they speak about integrity and being oneself, not pretending to be someone. When I spoke to my CMI group the other day and suggested to have a talk on spiritual coaching and spirituality & management or something along those lines, they asked me to explain and I had a hard time doing that.

The normal response I get is that people say “what has church to do with anything in management”. I stop right here because spiritual and church are not the same. Or they can be but not have to be the same.
From my point of view spiritual coaching refers to principles we got within us and values that are related to values people see in “church”. Honesty, Sustainability, Integrity, Fairness, Trust, Gut feeling – but how can you apply it to business.


I need to mention the Diamond Cutter again (see earlier entries) but also, that if you take your time out to reflect on your life and business, e.g. meditate or pray, you might get a better understanding of what you do and how to progress with a situation for instance. Your problem solving nature might change and things will be resolved differently than if you do it in a conventional possibly monetary driven way. Of course we all want to make money in business but if we do it in a sustainable way where we are making others happy and being “good about it” (I guess being a “good person” would be seen as a “church value”) then business is coming back to us. I mentioned that before.


We all say that things come back to us. The negative imprint of the diamond cutter, you remember? If we only create good imprints, then we only get good things in life. Is it all that simple?


Maybe. Spirituality can help to create positive imprints.


Wikipedia writes about spirituality as “connection to a metaphysical reality greater than oneself” and “tradition of perceiving and internalizing one’s “true” nature and relationship to the rest of existence” – what does that mean?


For me it means that from a business point of view, if we connect to something greater (that does not have to be a god but maybe simply “all the good in the world”) and connect to that and apply it to others (being good anytime anywhere to anyone) then we create a positive imprint (to use the Buddhist term). We then might perceive our true nature, our honesty and integrity and connect to ourselves better and that will reflect to the outside.


Let me try to put it into a more “technical term”. If the energy system is always “zero” then if we send out positive energy all the time, we need to get positive energy back. And, if we have the possibility to connect to a higher self – or quite frankly to our inner self which must be in a state of pureness – then we do find the values that create positiveness and happiness for others. And that is the energy you want to send out, because that is what you like to get back.


I hope that makes sense and clarifies the term “spirituality” and how you could use it in business – I am a fond believer that business needs to be built on honesty and true value to be sustainable and that spiritual thoughts can help us with that.

Diamond Cutter – business problem 43

Geshe Michael Roach describes an interesting situation in his business problem no. 43 which I like to write about:

You live in a business and social climate where integrity is simply not respected; where only fools are strictly ethical every hour of their business day – where “Nice guys finish last”.

He writes about people leaving a company. As usual the manager asks if there is anything they can do to help. And usually there is not. The manager gets back in touch with the ex-employee after 3 weeks and the person is usually happy.

Then Geshe Michael Roach writes “the imprints for having bad people around you, you see, aren’t changed by manipulating external circumstances. The Tibetans say that, when most of us go into a room with ten people in it, we find three people we like pretty much, three people that we pretty much don’t like, and four people that we don’t feel much about either way. Then if we go into another room of then people it’s just the same. …..It is not a function of external reality…it is a question of imprints in our own minds. Change your own imprints in our own minds. The change will not come with you running away but by you changing your imprints.”

That reminds me about my most common NLP motivation technique – moving away from is not working, it is the moving “towards to” motivation that gets you where you want to be. If the imprints in this case, your mental stimuli is right, you will work towards something that is worthwhile, that makes you happy. If that is work or any other circumstance.

However, if you keep leaving companies or avoiding situations because of things that seem to be everywhere you are, then you cannot escape them until you have dealt with it in your own mind, because the perception/imprint comes from you. Ergo, you will always end up in the chosen situation until you see it differently.

At the end of the book Roach also talks about “seeing it from other point of views” and “being united with another person’s being”; whilst he then expands on happiness and wealth I was thinking of self-monitoring too.

Because if you monitor yourself and think “what would I like to hear from that person if I was the person asking me something?” – then I would always have a good answer and might be able to motivate people. And, most importantly, I would get a good imprint for myself and even for the other person. Using that in business I create a win/win situation, because a new employee for example would be more motivated, gets a positive imprint, is happier and creates more business.

Let us find out whether those principles work in business.