Sunday Column (234)

Can you believe it is September? Show time. There are two conferences and two exhibitions I go to this month. Plus of course my usual work load and commitment. I am loving it. Fast pace. It is going to be a great month! All fired up!

But back to review last week. The night in the tent. It was better than anticipated yet maybe a bit early for the youngest. Having said that, maybe next year it will be great to get away as a family. Anyone selling a used tent?

The kids are my main priority at the moment. I really try to focus on them when I am at home. They stay up the odd night during the week, and in the mornings I see or hear them too. C now goes to the loo at night and then back to his own bed. Normal you might think, yet for me such a big step in his development. He is becoming independent. He is growing up so fast and starts school this week too. My eldest wearing a school uniform. It feels like he was just born yesterday. Where has the time gone?

I am still learning to do all those things the kids love. Letting go and go for kids’ stuff if you like. Reversing my growing up and stiffness a bit, and enjoying the involvement. Time will tell how much I succeed, however it goes in line with my Rotary and Buddhism really: others above yourself.

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It is weird writing this as I am, as repeatedly told over the last few weeks, very open with my feelings. Nothing to hide. Nothing to pretend. I am just a dad learning to get better every week, sharing my experience. Maybe I won’t be the best dad in the world, but I will try.

And you get so much back. Little anecdotes, learning patience, explaining the world, or persuading them to do something they don’t want to. Ignoring tantrums is another one. Leaving your phone turned off or out of reach. Being 100% in the moment with them.

Yes, having grown up with a dad that was home from lunch time, I still get used to be out of the house all week. This is particularly true after 3.5 months at home. I am the bread winner. C asked me if I enjoyed work, and when he is older, he likes to go to work too. And he will. He will, similar to me, become a ‘workaholic’. In a good way that is. I love my new job for instance, and I am not only saying that!

On Friday I organised a night out for the local Hassocks dads, as most of our kids will go to school together, most of the families have moved here over the past couple of years. It is good to see so many familiar faces as in the ‘everyday life of things’ we don’t manage enough ‘man time’. The odd chat at a birthday party between changing nappies isn’t enough. We will repeat that and make it a regular occurrence.

I am doing all that because I enjoy connecting to people. My LinkedIn network is growing daily and I decided this week (you probably read it) to send an email to all my contacts. It is a scary moment to think that you send over 3,000 people a message of what you have been up to recently. Yes, I do that every day on twitter and every week here on my blog, actually I live a very public life, however sending people an email was a new experience. I hope it was well received, it definitely was sent with good intentions. And most of the feedback was positive so far.

At the weekend I met with a really good friend from university. I haven’t seen her for 4 years, yet it was like I just saw her last night. What I mean by that is that it is great to have friends who you don’t see for a long time, then you see them again and it is like no time has passed. Thanks J!

This really concludes my thoughts of the week. Only my second week in the job yet I feel like I have been there forever. I am excited about the prospects. My first email campaign and lots of learning re my family. And a lot of networking on the way, meeting new and interesting people. That is what I do. That is what I enjoy.

Have a lovely first September week.

Love and Kindness.
Volker