I am still thinking of last Sunday when we took the boys to a safari park. I managed to spend a whole day watching giraffes, rhinos, elephants, monkeys, lions, tigers and the lot with my family. Having had two late nights on Friday and Saturday resulted in me being tired. The long drive meant the boys slept in the car on the way home, then stayed up late. Some commitments made me stay up till midnight, just managing to get on top of things.
Slowly I am getting it. You get from your family what you put in. If you watched the video on Tuesday, you cannot be in the moment whilst staring at your phone. And I started putting it in at the weekend. And I am getting back, I am loving it. The unconditional love, the hugs, the questions, cuddles and statements. How much more important in life is that compared to anything (!) else?
My wife was saying that the eldest now asked “how are we made”, so a new chapter of questions is about to be opened. I cannot wait! I am getting excited to explain these and many more things in the years to come. I believe I am at this pivotal point where a bloke starts to really enjoy and engage with his sons.
This week I am away for one of the conferences I am chairing. Berlin until late Monday night. Then three long days of conferences in London. I cannot wait to see the boys again next weekend. I then have a new chance to be fully with them. Commuter life plus a career driven mind works like that, I am just one of many. And I keep telling myself it is ok, and it is. It will be.
It feels like things in life are coming together. When I think how scared I was to send over 3,000 emails to LinkedIn connection and having received the feedback, I am now glad I have done it. The connection, renewed friendships, meetings, discussions etc. It feels like it all starts to make sense. Maybe it took long, but if life is there to enjoy it, now is the time, not yesterday or tomorrow. When yesterday felt like jumping off a cliff, free falling, then now I am gliding, for my German friends ‘like Schimanski in his last Tatort above Duisburg’. Maybe a bit melancholic but also proud of achievements.
To follow on from all of that, my eldest started school this week. Almost to the day 30 years after his daddy. So firstly I took a half day to let mummy and him meet the teacher so I could watch R, as the 1st day of school isn’t such a big deal as it was in Germany. No Schultüten 🙁 C managed fine. He likes it.
It is weird, I suppose more so for my wife, that after having a baby to yourself for four years, it starts school. He is gone. For the next 14 years or so he is going to reception, preschool, middle school, high or secondary school, college and then, hopefully, to university in Germany. Latter is my dream but that doesn’t mean it is his. Time will tell. Before we know it we are….grandparents LOL
It is nice to see the boys grow up, yet we still had a rough night this week. Good to see them moving on. You cannot stop time. Whilst one likes the thought of having time for oneself again, the thought of someone else looking after your children, and then them looking after themselves, can be daunting. My parents have coped and I surely wasn’t easy. So I am going to be alright. Generations have said it: letting go of your children is the hardest part. You can only ensure they got the best preparation for the wild world when they do.
You can see, lots of melancholic thought. A week of networking at conferences and exhibitions lies ahead of me. Some travel, networking, catching up, learning, waiting, stressing. Actually, I love it. Yet, roll on Friday night. A bottle of nice red, a take away and a nice movie. This weeks is going to pass quickly.
Have a great one. If you come to ad:tech, stop by at booth 408H, adizio and I will be there.