Sunday Column (241)

wedding2007 Today is our wedding anniversary. Six years ago we got married on a lovely sunny autumn day. As we said then, someone was watching us, making sure we had the most amazing day in our lives. And we did. Topped maybe by birthdays, that’s the kids’ ones I am talking about, or Christmas for the wee ones. We are moving into the 7th year, the critical one, as based on statistics, this is the year most couples get divorced. They say if you manage year 7, you manage for life. It is a myth, however research suggest the longer the marriage lasts, the less likely a divorce becomes. I am not worried. Actually we know each other for 10 years soon!

A quick search online reveals a few articles writing about the 7th year, but what have I learned? Surely I am not going to discuss my marriage in public, but thinking back over the years, one learns a lot. And in all honesty, I still learn. The love for each other gets shared with the kids, the attention for each other gets divided with the kids, the overall life is changing from 2 to however big your family might grow. This makes life richer. One needs to compromise, make up, remember birthdays and like today anniversaries. Show appreciation for each other’s contribution to the life together. Lastly commitment. No marriage, relationship or anything in life has only sunny sides. Commit to whatever happens, even if you are the one having to take a step back. My personal tip: if your wife has a good taste, and assumingly she would saying yes to you, leave her to decide all those things you don’t really mind too much: paint colours, furniture, toilet design etc., but make sure to support decisions and have an input, because you don’t want to come across as if you don’t care. And you don’t not care 🙂

But enough about marriages and married life. It is a decision you make, stick to it and get on with it. In good and bad times. Talk. Talk a lot, communicate and speak about things. That’s important.

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Last week I was travelling again. I chaired my second conference, AdMonsters Ops, in Germany, Munich. I tried to meet some business partners and friends whilst I was out there. It was a great trip and good conference. Not only did I renew some existing companies’ contacts and industry friends, I also managed to meet a very close friend I haven’t seen for (too) many years. Both very driven individuals, we are pursuing the same dream, in different ways. And, we both believe this dream is the “valid” one. So far away, yet so similar thoughts and motivations. I believe this trip might have been life changing but you never know. Making connections, connecting the dots.

On the way out to Germany I was caught in the trouble at Gatwick airport. A power cut put the South Terminal into a bit of a turmoil. With less than 2 hours delay we departed and I stayed calm. Age, meditation and exercise seems to keep my mind from going mental. At least for now lol. I was a bit more uneasy when the flight home got delayed but I got home at a reasonable time on Friday night. Tired, exhausted, yet full of motivation, contacts and good plans.

Munich, on the other hand, made me feel almost a little homesick. Quality build houses and products, quality food, good life style, yet in a cosmopolitan environment. If I ever considered a move back to Germany, it would be Munich. But I love my little Hassocks. The definition of Hassocks, where we live, was pointed out to me this week: it is the plural of has·sock (Noun):
– A thick, firmly padded cushion, esp. a footstool.
– A firm clump of grass in marshy or boggy ground.

So I can now choose whether I live in a piece of mud or foam. Maybe a soft spot where you can let go, with the feeling of just sinking in?

Flying home I had more thoughts about life. Nothing like having 2 hours of me time. Disconnected. A bit melancholic, thoughtful, yet with unstoppable energy to succeed. Life, both private and professionally, is at a pivotal point. About to accelerate. I love where I am. I love what I am doing. And I am determined to make it work!

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Have a fantastic week. When you get a chance, take a minute to reflect on your happiness, your love and life. Hug your children and tell them, that whatever you do is to create a better life for them. When you work abroad you do that to provide for them, because you love them. If you don’t see them during the week, tell them that is for you to make sure they have enough food, because you love them. And, if they are old enough, make sure they understand that you don’t (want to) feel guilty not seeing them. But by you knowing that they love you, you feel better and they understand that you are away because of them. Life is that way. Either part of you has the same motivation, all you do in life is because you love your children. Because that’s the purpose in life, isn’t it? To make it work. To fight for it.

I better stop before I get more philosophical 😉

Have a great week,
Volker