This week I continued to listen to the mp3 of Anthony Robbins, and the six basic human needs:

1. Certainty/Comfort.
2. Variety.
3. Significance.
4. Connection/Love.
5. Growth.
6. Contribution.

Having worked with my coach for a few week, and had another coaching session this week, I realise that these basic six needs are very important. Let’s assume you are in a relationship, in a job, play chess in a club, or anything that is important to you, and none or only one or two of these needs are met. How long would you stay in that situation and not change it? And why?

For argument sake, you are in a relationship but your partner doesn’t give you security because s/he is going off to gamble the hard earned money. Then s/he doesn’t’ show any love or connection to you and your kids, and you feel like you cannot grow or contribute to the situation at home. As Anthony would put it, the blueprint of your life of what you want to achieve and life itself are not equal. You are very unhappy.

Then this is the time for change! Change to either solve the situation if you can or get out of there. Find a situation that meets three or four of your basic human needs.

If you watched the video above you can see what I am talking about. It is just one of many videos on YouTube, so if you do a search for “Anthony Robbins” and “six human needs”, you should find answers to:

a) What is stopping us from having the life we want?

You ever tried to blame others for the situations you are in? It is my boss, it is the work environment, it is the commute, it is my neighbour, it is my wife/husband, ….. – there is only one person you have fully control over and that is YOU. You are the one that can change people, situations and of course yourself. You decide – have choice – to develop yourself the way you want. The answer for anything lies within you, something I try to explore with my blog on Buddhism and Management which is currently paused.

b) What is controlling and shaping your choices and emotions?

What is it you would like to achieve? Which pattern/behaviour do you have? How could you break it? Why do you do what you do? Look from the outside in and experiment what would be if you changed. Get a coach to do a time-line exercise to understand what you are looking for.

c) Why do we do the things we do if it is so easy to change?

This comes down to pattern, behaviour and routine. Don’t you get up every morning and have the same routine. And if something disturbs you in it, don’t you hate it? And, you cannot change any pattern without finding a substitution that meets the same needs.

Anthony says that if a habit or a pattern meets at least three needs it becomes an addiction – in a positive as well as a negative sense. If jogging or sports meet three needs then you might get addicted to sports, but if smoking gives you security, comfort and love as well as contribution to a social group, then this habit will be hard to break. So you need to find an alternative that meets exactly the same needs by doing something different!

Have a think about it and please leave a comment or contact me if you would like to find out more.