Posts Tagged dad

Sunday Column (447)

The running event is done. My knee is healing. Ibuprofen consumption went up and the sports massage yesterday morning released the tired muscles. I loved the event. I enjoyed feeling my body and feeling totally exhausted for days. On Monday I ‘treated’ myself to a glass of wine. After eight days of not drinking it was nice to have a glass. It didn’t make a difference of having it or not, that felt nice too.

I am determined. Determined to strengthen my body more systematically and more specifically to last longer in endurance events. Whether that is Spitfire 2018 or anything else, we shall see. This week I started on my training plan. The game is on. I am hooked, the challenge is on. Time to find my next wall.

Given I just turned 40, mid life crisis they say, it is more about finding myself. No, let me correct myself here. I am not finding myself. I am creating myself. This is true in all aspects of life. We are creating our own destiny by making decisions on what we eat and drink, how we bring up our children, what we choose to do. We are in charge and control of our lives. Yes, 40. Maybe it takes that long to realise which potential we have as a human being. Or it is because life becomes more systematic then. The experience kicks in? Whatever it is, life couldn’t be more exciting than this.

Then on Tuesday I was off to a Germany again. Another trip with lots of important meetings. The main one was the announcement of us (my company Rocket Fuel) selling to Sizmek. So I am now part of another company. This is my third merger/acquisition. That is how our industry works and how things turn out. I got flooded with messages what it means to me and at this point in time it is too early to tell. Usually it takes a couple months for things to align, for paperwork to get done. In the meantime we will discuss company structures, company synergies and determine who or what will have to change. Given we are very complimentary, I don’t fear for many jobs. That said, there will always be some churn, as this is what happens. A big event, and I am a bit proud to experience another exit. It is not for me to comment on any of this, so will leave the discussion here.

Life isn’t a constant. As of above, the event and the job, things are fluid. I was discussing this with a friend of mine earlier this week, and I have mentioned it here before. When growing up, as children, we always envisage that life will be similar to our parents’ life. I came from a good upbringing, mum and dad always had enough money, a bit extra and we had a good life, some holidays. Never anything flashy or extraordinary. I need to ask my parents if that was because they didn’t want to or couldn’t afford to. I assume it was a mix of both. Mum was always good in book keeping. And I guess that is what I do with my kids. Yes, I could get them their own iPad, but that feels like the wrong thing to do. They need to learn how to save up for one, and honestly, they are still too young anyway. What I am saying is that they need to learn values. Core values of being able to appreciate things in life.

However, my life is nothing like my parents life I don’t think – my dad had a secure job (teacher) and my job changes every 2 years (that’s on average 😉 ). I live in a high pace, high impact, London, work environment, and commute 1.5 hours each way. Dad drove to work and finished early afternoon. He was around in the afternoons and sometimes worked at night if he had to finish a lot of marking.

There was more stability in life for them. And I sometimes wonder if I am missing that? I cannot say I am not having a stable job or not enough opportunity. Of course, I am saying that my industry is more volatile and at the brink of consolidation (and has been for years). And having said that, I could not imagine to do the same job for the next 30 years. I love the buzz and change, and opportunity. Yet, it just isn’t like in the olden days. Plus we are having an overload of information. Our phones, social media, news. There is so much more noise out there, trying to influence us and taking focus away from what is really important in life: our family, our values and our health. Those are part of life’s system I am describing in my #BeBetter book. The underlying system, the stability, comes from there. And from the belief that things will always work out in the end, happen for a reason. And they do. Believe!

And many years from now, I will look back at my ‘40ies’ and think that life was great. I will have little regrets. Maybe a few but overall I am very happy. The regrets you have are compromises. Those are ok I find. One cannot connect the dots moving forward, but the dots will connect looking backwards. Never forget. Never stop believing.

Have an amazing life, and week!
Volker

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Sunday Column (206)

I have been in Germany with the family this week. A train to the airport, a “funny” train between terminals, a slightly delayed plane (as a family we haven’t had a travel where the plane was on time yet), an ICE train and a small train before Opa picked is up. 9 hours of travel. The boys loved it, were behaved and the ICE train even had a compartment for families. A luxury journey.

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It was my dad’s 70th birthday, an occasion to meet the family, the kids to play and bond with their cousins, and all of them to bond with Oma and Opa. We had a good time. We drank lots of wine as we stayed up late chatting away and catching up. Normal I suppose. We enjoyed it. There is a lot of things happening in the family. My brother is building a house, dad got his first ever smart phone. Lots of great food, home cooked meals, fresh rolls (Brötchen) and lots of play with old childhood toys.

The other occasion of course was Rohan’s 2nd birthday, hence the celebration as birthday twins was for 70+2 birthday 🙂 So lots of attention was given to our wee one as well.

Up to a few years ago I wrote a lot about Germany and my love hate relationship. I think that has now passed. I moved on. I actually enjoy coming back as I don’t compare Germany any longer to what I have. Yes they have nicer trains, warmer and better insulated houses, higher quality in a few day to day items, but it doesn’t bother me anymore. I am very happy and content with the life I have, and I moved away from trying to be 100% perfect. I like to think so anyway. I feel like I moved on. I found my own purpose.

Despite that I am not sure whether to speak German or English, to feel at home or not. But as opposed to former visits I just embraced things I enjoy. Like the above mentioned rolls and home cooked food that took me back in time. I can let go. I can and actually do enjoy my time in Germany now. The journey back in time becomes a nice journey. I believe that over the last few years I have settled, embraced what I have and was able to let go and focus on the positive things in life. My outlook is positive in all aspects of life and that is what I focus on. Here and Now. Positive!

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Also I was able to switch off from work. I relaxed, felt like I was living at home again where everything is taken care of. Hotel Mama with unlimited wine, food and fun. No worries. At the birthday party I met with friends of my parents who have been some kind of mentors for me over the years. Contacts that helped me grow up and understand the world. People who have seen me through all my stages of life but the last 15-20 years. This is difficult to comprehend I found. Those people used to baby-sit me, nurse me, comfort me, teach me or were just there for me. Now they are 70+ enjoying retirement and grandchildren. They of course loved to see our kids and how I got on in life. Whilst my parents keep them updated, it is nice to personally touch base with them. Again, a much more pleasant journey than anticipated. I actually look forward to going back to Germany again.

My dad used to be a teacher. In 1995 he got the chance to build a new school as a principal. As one of the guests pointed out my dad’s career and reputation as a teacher is amazing. He pushed himself to help others, to progress and have more influence. I suppose that is where I got my drive from and my urge to help others, to help develop others. My drive to succeed, take on new projects, seeing them through and coaching younger people to progress in their life. I guess I learned a lot from you, dad, and never realised it before. Maybe you taught me much more than I have ever realised before. I just hope I will be able to be such a good teacher for my two boys also.

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On the fun side: I must look like my dad too. Asking Colin who the person on the picture above was, he said “daddy” not hesitating once. Since then he started noticing slight differences and it is “Opa”, however there is a slight resemblance, wouldn’t you think?

It was nice being back home. My wife and I managed a night out, ate some nice Gyros and we showed C the fresh fruit market. The weather was beautiful with snow and cold winds but it limited us in doing too much. So we just spent the right amount of time in Detmold, hoping to go back for longer maybe next year in the summer. The journey back seemed quick with two brave boys pulling through to the end. They fell into bed being absolutely exhausted. C was still recovering from all the input he received by the weekend. We just chilled out.

I went back to work on Thursday. Lots to catch up. Lots to do. Back to the grindstone. I am back in my routine. Kind of anyway. A few pints with the Hassocks crew on Saturday night and “our home cooked” food Friday and Saturday. It is good to be home. It is good to be settled. We are not creating the memories for our boys for them to experience what I did this week. The circle of life I suppose.

A good week comes to a close. Thank you Oma and Opa.

Love,
Volker

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Sunday Column (51)

What a week. I know I keep saying that but it seems like one week tops another 🙁

A virus infection of some sort slowed me down Monday and Tuesday, and Thursday and Friday I had the man-flu. So I only went to the gym, or better say a swim, once this week. That disappoints me a bit but I shouldn’t exaggerate things.

However, on the business side of things, it was a successful week with lots of meetings, positive noises and lots of interest. The next two weeks are already fully booked with conferences, meetings and work related stuff. But I enjoy it. Truly do (Sacha, I mean it!)

My dad turned 67 this week (sorry for revealing your age), and we picked up a Volvo XC90 this week, guess that makes me almost as old as him – but not as wise of course 🙂

The car is great. My mother in law, my wife and boy went down to Rye on Saturday, and it was like driving a proper car. You can see the road, enjoy the heated seats, and it is just a comfortable trip. The 19.4 mpg are a bit too much, but we don’t drive too often, do we?

On Sunday, Valentines day, I got my wife these two ducks I was writing about the other day. And, of course, some roses. Some roses that could swim in the bath and double up as candles.

Sunday we planned to have a really relaxed day. However, I got food poising from the crab roll or prawn Jalfrezi. I was still sick in the afternoon, and didn’t feel well all day, so think that I will not be back in the gym as of tomorrow.

Have a great week.

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