Posts Tagged dreams

Dreaming boy – life as it is

Last night our oldest, 2 year old, woke up. It wasn’t yet 11 pm when he did, e.g. had about 3 hours sleep. You heard him kicking just before it kicked off, then he started crying. Sobbing at first, then slowly getting louder.

I was laying in bed, about to go to sleep. I was paralysed not knowing whether I should go in and speak to him or whether he might go back to sleep. My wife got him up and comforted him.

It took us almost an hour for Colin to go back to sleep.

I wonder if that was his first nightmare. Whether he realised it was a dream. Whether or not he will remember what he dreamed about. He was so upset, nothing could calm him down. No biscuit, no cuddles. Eventually, being over-tired, he fell asleep in our bed and could be safely transferred back into his own.

Surely, a lot of parents reading this will say “this is normal”. This is life. Of course it is. What I am wondering about is how much we will remember of this situation or any other. How much will we remember of those exciting, for Colin so life changing, moments.

My parents surprised me the other day that they didn’t remember me playing Basketball. I played Basketball for many years, it was a very important time in my life, and it still plays a major part in my life that I tried to be a good basketball player. I even sometimes regret that I never picked it up again after I stopped playing when I was 15.

I am afraid. Somehow I am afraid that when I am 50 or 60 years old, that I won’t remember Colin’s first nightmare, or whether he was an easy or difficult child. You live through so many new events and experiences that you only remember the important ones. You need to blend out the less important ones and need to forget about the less important ones. I think that is normal.

However, I believe you start losing memories of some precious moments, some important moments that only happened then, now. And they will never happen again.

That is life for you. It is that simple.

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Turn your dreams into reality

If there is a dream, there is reality!

But let’s start at the beginning: Coaching is based on 3 supports.

1) Beliefs – challenge your limiting beliefs and reinforce supportive/positive ones!
2) Values – know your values and live them.
3) Goals – what do you want to achieve and how do you want to achieve it?

People say that goals are dreams with legs – they go somewhere. Or, you can put it differently, if you are dreaming to achieve something, then you can support this dream with actions and turn this dream into a reality, a goal. This goal becomes achievable when you are putting your efforts and beliefs behind it.

Coaching is based around goals. We all start in the here and now and have a reality check of our current life. What is our present state and what do we like or dislike about our current life. This could be the job, the love life, the amount of exercise we do etc. Check for the wheel of life to identify what you might want to change.

From there you define your goals and the desired state. This state is now your aim, your goal, something you need to put your mind to. As we say in NLP, now imagine you are already at your desired state and look back to your present state, how did you get there?

That might sound complicated, but if you want to cross a river, you can either think of building a bridge or you can imagine that you already crossed the river and look at the problem from the other side. You might discover a new way across, something you cannot see from your current perspective.

bridge

NLP uses that technique quite a lot. Put yourself in the corner of the room and watch yourself having this conversation or interview and evaluate yourself whilst doing so. Also, you can then watch the reaction of your opposite conversation partner and act / amend your conversation accordingly. This enables you to build stronger rapport and more effective conversations, communications and connections.

In regards to goal setting, always set positive goals. Move towards a positive goal rather than away from something negative. You don’t want to loose weight, as you focus on the weight. Focus on the healthy aspect and formulate your goal “I want to be fit and healthy”.

Also, be specific about your goals. That means it has to be measurable and reward yourself by achieving part of the goal. stepping stones are important. These stepping stones will provide you with the right feedback and you can see whether you are on track for your big goal.

And, whilst pursuing any dream, any goal, any stepping stone, think of the 3 coaching supports. Be true to your beliefs and values. Be cautious what some actions might mean to you and your environment. What costs are involved, what time etc.

By making an action plan and making sure that you have a can-do approach, you eventually will achieve your goals. If you need help defining them or setting stepping stones to reach your goals and turn your dreams into reality, please give Coach Volker a call.

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Why does Cheese make you dream funny things?

I ate a lot of cheese at the weekend and just remembered that when I grew up people used to say “cheese makes you dream funny“.

So I consulted Dr. Google and found this page which explains why.

It is not the cheese, it is that anything you eat late at night and takes time to digest, and from my understanding this is the case with cheese, keeps you more awake resulting in you having more vivid dreams.

Therefore, it is not the cheese but heavy to disgest food in general. Really, I could have thought of that myself.

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