Posts Tagged family
Sunday Column (152)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on January 29, 2012
I started writing this column whilst having a Saturday night off. Glass of wine, German music, kids in bed and the wife visiting a friend. These evenings are rare. Time to reflect, time to / for myself.
What am I thinking these days? I am thinking a lot to be honest. There are a few things that I anticipate this year. All and foremost our move to a better life. I am getting quite excited thinking that I finally settle down. A bigger house. A better quality of life. All other factors probably stay the same but that is how it is. You never completely change just because you move or change one bit of your life. There are the same illusions you have that every year at New Year’s Eve you give up smoking. Most people never last. Change is within us and not (necessarily) location dependent.
Then we get our new (used) car on Tuesday. A Seat Alhambra. As you know my wife and I insist on rear facing car seats. The Alhambra was the only choice for a comfortable drive and space in the car, whilst keeping the car seats’ third leg on a solid ground. Most other cars (Sharan, S-Max, Galaxy, 2011+ Alhambra) have under floor storage boxes that don’t support the weight of the leg. Anyway, my wife will write an extensive report as a guest post. So any comments should be waiting until the full review is published. However, I think once the kids are out of rear facing car seats we get an XC90 Volvo again. We just loved that car too much.
This week I have been to Milan. I only went for the day. Despite no sleep the night before (thanks kids!) I had a good day. I really look forward travelling more regularly to Spain, Italy and potentially more countries in the future. This will be my job moving forward. Besides Colin loves ham at the moment, so both of those cities offer me the best “take away” for him 
The perks.
Other than that work is busy. I have found some time to catch up with half the industry about the acquisition. January was a lot busier than anticipated and I look forward to March. Why March? February looks like it will be even busier than January already, so March can only be better, right? Then again there are a few longer trips planned too. Lots of progress to be seen. I like that.
We had a fantastic weekend. We didn’t do much, but given the fact we weren’t house hunting and didn’t have any viewings for our place, we were busy but relaxed. We took some pictures, shopped for some wine and just chilled. Good bonding with Colin and Rohan. Wine: not having a constant stack of wine at home, buying them cheap when on offer, allows me to go and shop different wines. I got some excellent bargains on some French Fitou and Shiraz. So what am I complaining about?!
Guess that is all for this week folks.
Have a good one,
Volker
Sunday Column (147)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on December 25, 2011
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Another year. Another 12 months, 365 days or 8,760 hours of life. How lucky are we? Many people didn’t survive the past 12 months for whatever reasons. Steve Jobs of course comes first to my mind as he had a huge impact on me this year. Or Vaclav Havel who died just a week ago. I was lucky, no family member or close friend passed away.
But life is not about the ones that died but about what you experienced and what you learned and of course what you are going to make out of it. Positive outlooks, the now and the future. Let’s not be morbid but full of joy and look at what 2011 brought us…and ultimately what 2012 might have in stock for us.
January saw the last month of Jen’s pregnancy. A time, as everyone could imagine, that is full of emotions, tears, fun, and a toddler that can be annoying at times. Not only did I write my 100th Sunday Column, I also wrote about Cancer and Death in the same month. Are we back to the morbid topics? No, the post about that I may die 
today was a Buddhist thought on that you should live a great live and a compassionate life to the day of your death, reminding you that death could happen any day. And, that you shouldn’t worry about it but embrace the thought that it might be today. A comforting thought I think.
February was all about positive stuff and LIFE. Rohan was born. A few posts about happiness but also focusing on my work. We got a new member of staff and despite me being off I had to spend a lot of time working from home. I felt a lot of pressure at work that time and over the whole year. Lots of changes but overall this year was fantastic. For 2012 I can only see more and better growth. A stronger team. I cannot wait. But back to Rohan – he is now over 10 months and I can hardly imagine how he turned out to be the way he is. I was carrying him in the hospital: a fragile baby with a bony bump – a wee little tiny parcel. And now he has this cheeky smile, crawls around and cannot get enough attention, competing for it with his older brother. Life has been so good to us and seeing them both now, you wouldn’t think that Rohan had a very hard and dangerous time just after he was born. Thank who you need to thank for healthy children.
March was about coffee, no sleep and of course Iceland. I finally made it to Iceland on a trip where I spoke at a conference. Hopefully I go again next year but I haven’t heard, and March will be very busy with other conferences in other exciting countries. As with all “first baby month”, this one just passed. With probably around 7 hours sleep on average – per week 
April saw me turning 34. My aim to become Managing Director before I was 35 had been fulfilled. How fantastic. Now I put my next challenge out: to be CEO or at least having one or two non-executive director positions before I am 40. We shall see what the future holds. Anyway, I got my netbook in April. I am still happy with it. A bit slow, and maybe I would prefer a tablet with keyboard now instead of a netbook but I wasn’t ready then. So still a good investment. The iPad is coming when version 3 comes out next year.
May - looking at the history of the blog and my notes: a very normal month. Nothing special happened. I had time to tell the world that it was me who invented Facebook. But I am still to receive Mr. Zuckerberg’s cheque
June came with more changes at work. Personally and privately this month was similar to May. I believe you get to this saturation point, particularly if you live of little sleep, where you just live. You are happy in your routine and you just do as you are told. Life is just normal. A few thoughts about life, some about dreams but nothing that will ever change the world.
Now, these were the first 6 months of 2011. I’ll post the next 6 months next week. I thought a marathon blog post on Christmas day might just be a little too much to read whilst you are sitting under the tree, stuffed with turkey, having a wee zip of wine or whisky.
Have a great Christmas holiday!
Volker & Family
Sunday Column (143)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on November 27, 2011
“Wow Wow Wow” were supposedly Steve Jobs’ last words. I read his Biography over the last few weeks, 600 pages, and I couldn’t put it down. This man is fascinating. He sold me Apple from his grave. The product, the philosophy, the perfectionism and that attitude make a lot of sense. I suppose he had a lot of bad sides, and I was told that as an employee of Apple you weren’t suppose to talk or look at him unless he looked at you, but his idea of perfection was phenomenal. I suppose almost on the “sick” side. But as people say, the line between genius and insanity is a very fine one. Easy to cross. Buddha bless my Buddhist friend Steve and I am confident that I will be the proud owner of at least two new Apple products next year: the iPad3 and and iPhone5. We shall see. Everyone who has seen me being transformed from Blackberry to Android to Apple thinks I am stark raving mad. And they might be right
Another highlight this week was Thursday. Not because my wife felt that ill but that I worked from home in the afternoon. As usual I took Colin to school but this Thursday I also picked him up. I wanted to take him out for lunch but town was too far, and the local Indian was closed. I spend so much quality time with him on Thursday, I really enjoyed it. Still, I managed to keep on top of my work and had a relaxing night in. Not what I was planning this week, and my weekend plans were smashed too, but family is more important than anything else. I sometimes wonder what I would be like if I was single: workaholic, alcoholic, fat. Thanks for being there for me: family!
The whole family is also joining us for Christmas. The idea of not having a car is growing on me. Not only do I save money on petrol, insurance and car tax as well as MOT but I also get the whole family to Beckenham for Christmas. Happy days ahead. We are really looking forward to it. And my MIL and I got along fine when she was down last week.
Now this is it really. I went to Berlin this week to speak about my work and had a fantastic night in great digital marketing company. I love my work, my industry and of course my employer Seriously, I sometimes think I have the best job in the world, or I am the luckiest guy in the world. The only problem is that I seem to have too much drive to move forward. I am constantly pushing. But that works in my favour I supposed. Onwards and upwards.
To the last 4 weeks before Christmas. The last 4 weeks of work for the year, filled with lunches, diners and great parties. Filled with lots of work, long hours, and good company. But also filled with great family moments and good friends, warm fires. You gotta love Winter and Christmas.
Have a great one.
Volker
Sunday Column (139)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on October 30, 2011
Hey-ho,
Now a full summary of what happened over the last 10 days. We were in Germany for a week, driving over there in our “beast“. Of course we are back in time for Halloween of course
Firstly, we drove the whole way over: the garage said that the journey should be safe and we arrived in Detmold (my home town) in good time and with two well behaved boys. Actually, we managed to get there quicker than anticipated, with only one break on the main land.
We also did some shopping. Winter clothing for Colin: a new jacket and trousers. I got an autobiography of Ben Becker: a German actor and singer I admire. Colin got some more toys, and Jen got some kitchen toys. The joys. We didn’t get much for Rohan though but maybe next time. He instead got more cuddles than ever from Oma & Opa, and to be honest from almost anyone he met.
I visited my old school teacher who is now the principal of my old secondary school. It was an enjoyable two hours chatting about life, teachers, working hours, differences of cultures and general chit chat. I really enjoyed it and was glad he took his time, as this helped me to link back to my school days. Thank you. It is interesting to reflect on school life “from the other side” Also, as he lived abroad before, he could understand my thoughts about the fatherland and I recommended him to have a look for articles about Germany I wrote on here.
On Saturday we had a family reunion. Oma, or Ur-Oma, was there (she is now 91 years old) and most of the family from both my mum’s and my dad’s side. It was fantastic. Good chats, catch ups and I realised how important family actually is for me. It is good to see that most members of our family decided to have kids, to live a “normal” life and things are like they have been for generations. Of course everyone is an individual: different views about the virus Colin had, about kids leaving to play versus being supervised, extra food (or treats) to spoil the kids or just giving them what is being served. Different attitudes, ways and stages in life. But underlying there is a familiarity in the family. A “looking back” or “looking up” and admiration to Ur-Oma or grandparents in general who were the enablers, rich or poor, for a great big family and future for us and generations to come.
I never thought that I felt that way. Even just staying with my parents in Detmold, I realised how important Oma & Opa are for Colin & Rohan. For me to have 5 minutes to myself, for my wife to have a proper lie in, and for the kids of course to be spoilt. And Oma & Opa loved it too. Every minute of it. Meeting them for the first time in their own home. I believe we need to see them more often there. Family is great!
Sunday saw the reunion with one of my two oldest and closest friends. One who I met not short of 20 years ago in a holiday in Tuscany. The other one from high school who I shared a lot of memories with. Again, every day in Germany was like closing a chapter. Seeing someone and enjoying time with them. Talking about the old times, evaluating what one still shares after so many years. That is fantastic. It is like opening a book, reading the history in it, then closing the book and moving on. I don’t mistake that with “saying good bye”. It is moving on: more like opening a new chapter, a new book, and writing a new piece of history, the future. I guess I am all grown up now, the “Detmold Stories” are closed. They are the past.
On my list of things I want to do before I die, a Reinhard Mey Concert has been quite high up in the list for many years. So over a year ago, I got two tickets to see him in Bielefeld. Finally on Monday I went. Originally I wanted to go with a friend but he couldn’t come due to work commitments, hence I took my mum who truly enjoyed the evening.
Reinhard Mey is a German song writer/singer and I love his lyrics. Cynic yet pushy for a better Germany, a fairer place for everyone. He is coming up for 70 years old but his social commitments are still strong: he donated the evenings’ income to a local charity for disabled people: Bethel. He sang old and new songs, and some which I have listened to for over 20 years.
I loved it. I loved it because it took me back to a Germany I know, a Germany I identify with. Reinhard is my parents’ age and has similar views. He just expresses them differently. And he is right. He uses German sayings to critically examining the current state of politics and society. A very enjoyable evening, finding more closure with my Germany.
Regarding the list of things I want to do, whilst never really put in writing, I think going to visit Tibet and Lhasa as well as visiting the vine yards in South America are on the list; also, I would like to do something big for charity, e.g. making a sustainable difference. I am confident I pick that up in a later post at some point:-)
Tuesday we went to the local market in Detmold, then met a friend for lunch and another one in the evening. Quite a busy day. Colin and Rohan (and Daddy of course) had a cold with a cough and a slight temperature. The boys were sick too and gave us some worries. We took them to the doctor to get them checked out on Wednesday. Not being insured, or only through the European Union, costs you a small fortune for medications abroad. The joys.
But we got over it and spend another nice family day in Detmold with Oma and Opa before we drove back to Beckenham on Thursday. Again, only one stop but I needed to have a shut eye. The illness, the days in Germany made me tired, and I was glad that Jen took over to drive in the UK. Maybe flying is the easier option, we shall see.
Once home we had a nice take away, bottle of wine, nice shower….just good to be back home. The cats were waiting too.
That sums up most of my week. With both boys still being sick and me suffering from man flu, the weekend was quiet. Relaxing, trying to get fit and making plans for November. I don’t believe November is already here.
Have a good one.
Best wishes,
Volker
PS: If you haven’t seen it on Twitter, Ocado managed to properly piss me off on Friday. They called me 20 minutes after the delivery slot was due, then couldn’t deliver at times convenient for me. I believe after what we went through this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. We will try Tescos again and of course Waitrose.
Sunday Column (138)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on October 23, 2011
The saga continued with our Volvo. In a good way I suppose, as the Volvo garage found the problem. The bad news are twofold. One is that Kwik Fit put one part in wrongly which could have had awful consequences, but luckily Volvo noticed. The other bad news was that we need to bring the car back for a bigger repair which unfortunately will be quite pricey.
Now it brings the question back whether a car is necessary or whether it is a luxury. Whether we should get a different car or keep ours. Whether or not we might want to get rid of the car. For now, I suppose, we stick with ours until we don’t need rear facing car seats any longer. After that, we might change to a smaller model or to hired cars when going somewhere. We shall see.
Enough about cars. Work was good this week, as always. Quite a hectic start to the week with some great meetings but with success too Happy days.
Colin didn’t feel well this week. He has Foot-Mouth-Hand disease, a mild virus infection. This is totally harmless but might explain why I feel a bit under the weather for the past few weeks. Or as my wife said on Monday “You look worst I have ever seen you”, referring to the dark shadows under my eyes. Maybe I don’t sleep enough, or work too hard, or I am just exhausted.
Rohan started crawling forwards this week. That is fantastic and I anticipate him starting to walk around Christmas time. It is crazy to see how quickly the boys grow up. Anyone I speak to says that. Before you know it they leave the house. Does that mean, I am old before I know it?
There is so much more to write about this week, and a lot more personal thoughts. I will do that for next week’s blog in greater detail, as I have been quite busy this weekend. That is good I suppose. I managed some quality time with the family.
I guess that’s all for this week folks. Sorry for the rather short summary; promise to have a full catch up next week.
Have a good one.
Volker
Sunday Column (136)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on October 9, 2011
I believe last week was one of the busiest working weeks I had for a long time. I still notice it today and needed the weekend to really chill out. Not easy with the two wee ones, but I managed ok. It is a taster what life might be looking like for the upcoming month.
Also we had one more new starter this week (who is a keen reader of my blog ) – it is fantastic to see how the office is growing. Exciting times ahead.
Finally our garage got us our car back. There is a new noise but they say it is ok. Guess we shall see over the next few days if they are right or wrong. After a 3 week ordeal I am certain to say that I won’t go back to Kwik Fit. I think I am going to try an independent garage around the corner for our MOT which is due at the end of the year.
I have been trying to work less at weekends. Saying that Rohan is just looking at me, playing with things on the carpet, whilst I write the blog. You sometimes wonder what 8 months old kiddies think. Do they remember anything or are they just “hanging about”?
Colin on the other hand loves the swing and the sea-saw. The slide of course still gets him excited too. Yesterday he started kicking a ball about and enjoyed playing on the basketball court. Maybe we get him to be more sportive than his parents after all?
I think I am still fighting some kind of virus. With the weather changing from 26 degrees to 12 degrees within four days I am not surprised. October and autumn are clearly here. Time to put the heating on, wrap up, gather the leaves and prepare for winter. I am looking a bit forward to winter, and some quality family time.
Guess this is all for the week. Nothing overly exciting. I went to a Hypnotherapy Event with Richard Bandler on Friday. It was good to see the founder of NLP to demonstrate hypnosis. However, looking at him just shows how old NLP is and that some people still think it is a “one size fits all” solution. It’s not.
Maybe a quick outlook to my decisions regarding tablet PCs. I think it is going to be the Sony S tablet: Android platform but I am waiting for the 3G version to be released at the end of the month….
Have a good one,
Volker
Sunday Column (135)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on October 2, 2011
It has been a long week. I couldn’t even tell you why but Monday started out with so much work that I didn’t come home till late. I didn’t see the boys all day. On Tuesday I briefly saw Colin for 10 minutes in the morning, and was heading to a great networking event in the evening.
Wednesday and Thursday I spent in Cologne at a management meeting. I flew back on Friday morning and worked the afternoon from home, so the kids could at least see me for a little bit.
Having family seems to be a balancing act. You are glad you have a job and a career. You are happy that things progress in your job and you enjoy your work. You put a lot of effort in to constantly get better and better.
On the downside you don’t want to clock up too many hours in the office or travel a lot. You prefer to be with the family. And that is where the clash is coming in. With me probably travelling more within the next few months, I need to make sure that the time I have with the kids is properly spend. No interruptions when I am home. So that is something I need to learn. To not check emails when I am with the kids, and to be home when being home. I guess it is a new process and a new life but another step up. For both the kids, myself and within my career.
I guess they call it work life balance. I have been studying that for a long time but find that the practical approach could be somewhat different. Switching your brain off when home is difficult. Whenever I ask older people with family and careers I get different advice. One is that you should see your kids in the morning before you go to work as you never know whether you make it home for bathing time. Then to be home when you are home, see above. Also, one should use the time with the kids to relax and de-stress. I am confident it is manageable as so many other people have done it. You of course need a supportive wife
Anyway, tomorrow is the 3rd of October. Looking at the weather and having had a look at September, the month just passed very quickly. I can’t understand we are already in Q4. That was very quick. Also it is a public holiday in Germany tomorrow, celebrating the reunification. I am going to put a special blog post on tomorrow to share another few thoughts on Germany and my relationship with it.
Oh, and we finally got our car back. No gear box or wheel bearings, just the handbrake and a v-joint. Latter is still to be replaces as they kept waiting for the part. So fingers crossed it is all in order again. They had to replace the hand brake but there are still some awkward noises to be heard. So the story continues…
That’s it. Some thoughts on family and work. Nothing new I suppose, just another blurb from my corner of the world. I spend the weekend with the kids, going for walks, visiting friends and playing trains. I loved it. Good to be home.
Have a great week, and a great October.
Volker
Sunday Column (133)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on September 18, 2011
I don’t want to start with “what a week” again but it was….I squeezed my official working hours into a 4 hour working week and feel like Q4 has already arrived. With me pretty much being out of office for the remainder of the month, I am very busy catching up on things. But, things are moving in the right and a very positive direction. I am very excited.
Enough about work, as this week there were two main highlights. One was that I met my American friend again for drinks. We had a fantastic time and caught up again. Great night, fabulous time. I wish I will see him more often, and who knows, maybe I will. Catching up on 17 years and looking at the present and future just takes time. He is a true friend, it is fantastic.
The other highlight was the weekend. My wife decided to go away for the weekend. So I had a whole weekend with my boys. And I did enjoy it very much. It made me realise how well you have to be organised and how much you have to concentrate on the two little men rather than yourself. We went to a play group, had lunch, diner, play in the garden and the usual bath. They were both so exhausted that they fell asleep instantly on Friday. So did I after a glass of wine.
Saturday was different again. We went to town to do some errands, then played at home and had a wee nap. Including myself of course. Plan was to drive to the golf course to go for a walk but the car made a funny noise so I took it down to the garage – it might be the gearbox 
Just what I needed before our big trip to Germany next month. I guess better now than when we are on a big trip. So we walked around Kelsey Park and got soaked on the way back, heating and drying up in front of the fire.
I don’t want to sound too proud but I am, being able to get them to bed in time and being organised enough to get through the day was an achievement. I know that my wife does it every day and has a different routine but for me who hardly gets involved but the weekends, this is quite a thing. Of course, as my wife argues, she has to do a lot more stuff on top of “only taking care of the children”, where I might have taken short cuts. No ironing, less cleaning, disposable nappies etc. But, I was surprised how easy it was at times. If I wanted to do it again? A clear yes, but not on a regular basis. Maybe men are just not made for that
But seriously: I think it made me realise how rewarding it is to be an entertainer for two young kids for a whole day. How responsible you have to be in order to feed them, change them and cuddle them at the right time. It made me realise what a crap dad I am at times when I forgot to take Colin’s milk or when I had to call my wife over again to ask small things that I didn’t know. Shouldn’t a dad know about everything.
Surely, I would have survived without my wife being reachable, but it helps. I value and appreciate her doing this job every day, and it made me realise that I should maybe more often take the boys out myself. I can do it. Maybe it would help my wife too if I take them a Saturday or Sunday. I always think it happens automatically when they get older, but I guess I don’t have to wait, do I?
Also by doing that on a regular basis, it will help me to bond with the kids. To understand their needs and understand where my wife’s challenges are. I love being able to help more, but as in many households, I decided I want a career. I love working and I am passionate about what I do. So it is difficult to be the best at both worlds. But, of course, I continue to try.
So I am glad once the wife comes home again and takes charge
Next week will be busy. The ATS and dmexco are about to happen, so lot’s of catching up to do with media and exchange guys. I am really looking forward to that.
Buzz me if you are at either event.
Have a good one,
Volker
Sunday Column (129)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on August 21, 2011
Oh well, a fantastic week, wasn’t it?
Sitting here at the weekend I try to remember what all happened this week. Work seemed to be very busy the first half of the week with it getting less busy towards the end. However, then picked up last minute again. I guess it is holiday season and most people are away. Nevertheless I can’t say I am bored, just the opposite, plenty to do. That means, September is going to be mental?!
Enough about work, although I realised this week that more and more people in the industry are friends rather than colleagues. I guess we are a small little family in online, and particularly in RTB. My article about RTB has been published by more people now, and it is an exciting space to be in. And this space is growing, and I keep meeting great people.
Now, enough about work I keep having discussing with people trying to figure out where I would like to live, and when and how and why….really by the end of this year I’d like to make the call and decide where I want to settle for the next 2 years. I don’t mind London, but I mind the endless thoughts and ideas of it not being London. That sounds like I wouldn’t like to go abroad but that’s not it. I wouldn’t mind at all, but if so, it needs to be soon, and I’d like to get started sorting it. But one step at a time, there are still lots of discussions to be held. Work and private ones.
Oups, did I mention work again? I guess it is where I spend most of my time, but I love it too. Just Friday I had a great conversation with my COO about things, and I am very excited about the next few months.
And (non work related) there were another couple of companies this week that are worth mentioning:
a) Southeastern: for the past 7 years I travel with them into London but keep not getting a seat on half of my journeys in, and think they don’t do anything to listen to their customers. It starts to really p* me off!
b) Ocado: the last two weekends they managed to make mistakes again. I don’t mind a company making mistakes, we all do, but Ocado’s mistake seem to happen every week. I speak to them each week, get refunds and free bottles of wine. But that isn’t helping. All I want is for them to keep their promise and deliver the best service and products ever. I am fighting for it, as I don’t want to shop anywhere else. Maybe I write the CEO a letter this week, we shall see.
Now the kids: I mainly sit with Colin in the morning having breakfast. And he gets upset if we don’t. I sometimes manage to be home to put them to bed, settling them. We are making progress in settling Colin by leaving his door open and stand on the door, waiting for him to sleep. And if he gets up at night we put him back to bed rather than taking him in ours. Allegedly the way forward, less stressful for him than holding the door shut and letting him cry to sleep. And we are feeling better about it too.
Rohan started moving backwards a bit and will be on the run soon. I truely enjoy them both but I am also quite certain this is it. 2 are enough
Then Oma and Opa came to visit over the weekend. Colin got all excited and loved to see them. We went down to Sevenoaks to visit Knole. This is a deer park and castle. A lovely day out which we finished with a nice meal. A fantastic day, great for walking and strolling, and playing golf.
We chilled on Sunday, got some family business done and some shopping. Just what the doctor ordered. I am planning to have a detox next weekend for 3 days from Friday to Sunday, so finishing my t-total month with a proper cleanse. And then I will be off to the next challenge.
Have a great week,
Best,
Volker
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