Posts Tagged family
Sunday Column (139)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on October 30, 2011
Hey-ho,
Now a full summary of what happened over the last 10 days. We were in Germany for a week, driving over there in our “beast“. Of course we are back in time for Halloween of course 
Firstly, we drove the whole way over: the garage said that the journey should be safe and we arrived in Detmold (my home town) in good time and with two well behaved boys. Actually, we managed to get there quicker than anticipated, with only one break on the main land.
We also did some shopping. Winter clothing for Colin: a new jacket and trousers. I got an autobiography of Ben Becker: a German actor and singer I admire. Colin got some more toys, and Jen got some kitchen toys. The joys. We didn’t get much for Rohan though but maybe next time. He instead got more cuddles than ever from Oma & Opa, and to be honest from almost anyone he met.
I visited my old school teacher who is now the principal of my old secondary school. It was an enjoyable two hours chatting about life, teachers, working hours, differences of cultures and general chit chat. I really enjoyed it and was glad he took his time, as this helped me to link back to my school days. Thank you. It is interesting to reflect on school life “from the other side” 
Also, as he lived abroad before, he could understand my thoughts about the fatherland and I recommended him to have a look for articles about Germany I wrote on here.
On Saturday we had a family reunion. Oma, or Ur-Oma, was there (she is now 91 years old) and most of the family from both my mum’s and my dad’s side. It was fantastic. Good chats, catch ups and I realised how important family actually is for me. It is good to see that most members of our family decided to have kids, to live a “normal” life and things are like they have been for generations. Of course everyone is an individual: different views about the virus Colin had, about kids leaving to play versus being supervised, extra food (or treats) to spoil the kids or just giving them what is being served. Different attitudes, ways and stages in life. But underlying there is a familiarity in the family. A “looking back” or “looking up” and admiration to Ur-Oma or grandparents in general who were the enablers, rich or poor, for a great big family and future for us and generations to come.
I never thought that I felt that way. Even just staying with my parents in Detmold, I realised how important Oma & Opa are for Colin & Rohan. For me to have 5 minutes to myself, for my wife to have a proper lie in, and for the kids of course to be spoilt. And Oma & Opa loved it too. Every minute of it. Meeting them for the first time in their own home. I believe we need to see them more often there. Family is great!
Sunday saw the reunion with one of my two oldest and closest friends. One who I met not short of 20 years ago in a holiday in Tuscany. The other one from high school who I shared a lot of memories with. Again, every day in Germany was like closing a chapter. Seeing someone and enjoying time with them. Talking about the old times, evaluating what one still shares after so many years. That is fantastic. It is like opening a book, reading the history in it, then closing the book and moving on. I don’t mistake that with “saying good bye”. It is moving on: more like opening a new chapter, a new book, and writing a new piece of history, the future. I guess I am all grown up now, the “Detmold Stories” are closed. They are the past.
On my list of things I want to do before I die, a Reinhard Mey Concert has been quite high up in the list for many years. So over a year ago, I got two tickets to see him in Bielefeld. Finally on Monday I went. Originally I wanted to go with a friend but he couldn’t come due to work commitments, hence I took my mum who truly enjoyed the evening.
Reinhard Mey is a German song writer/singer and I love his lyrics. Cynic yet pushy for a better Germany, a fairer place for everyone. He is coming up for 70 years old but his social commitments are still strong: he donated the evenings’ income to a local charity for disabled people: Bethel. He sang old and new songs, and some which I have listened to for over 20 years.
I loved it. I loved it because it took me back to a Germany I know, a Germany I identify with. Reinhard is my parents’ age and has similar views. He just expresses them differently. And he is right. He uses German sayings to critically examining the current state of politics and society. A very enjoyable evening, finding more closure with my Germany.
Regarding the list of things I want to do, whilst never really put in writing, I think going to visit Tibet and Lhasa as well as visiting the vine yards in South America are on the list; also, I would like to do something big for charity, e.g. making a sustainable difference. I am confident I pick that up in a later post at some point:-)
Tuesday we went to the local market in Detmold, then met a friend for lunch and another one in the evening. Quite a busy day. Colin and Rohan (and Daddy of course) had a cold with a cough and a slight temperature. The boys were sick too and gave us some worries. We took them to the doctor to get them checked out on Wednesday. Not being insured, or only through the European Union, costs you a small fortune for medications abroad. The joys.
But we got over it and spend another nice family day in Detmold with Oma and Opa before we drove back to Beckenham on Thursday. Again, only one stop but I needed to have a shut eye. The illness, the days in Germany made me tired, and I was glad that Jen took over to drive in the UK. Maybe flying is the easier option, we shall see.
Once home we had a nice take away, bottle of wine, nice shower….just good to be back home. The cats were waiting too.
That sums up most of my week. With both boys still being sick and me suffering from man flu, the weekend was quiet. Relaxing, trying to get fit and making plans for November. I don’t believe November is already here.
Have a good one.
Best wishes,
Volker
PS: If you haven’t seen it on Twitter, Ocado managed to properly piss me off on Friday. They called me 20 minutes after the delivery slot was due, then couldn’t deliver at times convenient for me. I believe after what we went through this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. We will try Tescos again and of course Waitrose.
Sunday Column (138)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on October 23, 2011
The saga continued with our Volvo. In a good way I suppose, as the Volvo garage found the problem. The bad news are twofold. One is that Kwik Fit put one part in wrongly which could have had awful consequences, but luckily Volvo noticed. The other bad news was that we need to bring the car back for a bigger repair which unfortunately will be quite pricey.
Now it brings the question back whether a car is necessary or whether it is a luxury. Whether we should get a different car or keep ours. Whether or not we might want to get rid of the car. For now, I suppose, we stick with ours until we don’t need rear facing car seats any longer. After that, we might change to a smaller model or to hired cars when going somewhere. We shall see.
Enough about cars. Work was good this week, as always. Quite a hectic start to the week with some great meetings but with success too Happy days.
Colin didn’t feel well this week. He has Foot-Mouth-Hand disease, a mild virus infection. This is totally harmless but might explain why I feel a bit under the weather for the past few weeks. Or as my wife said on Monday “You look worst I have ever seen you”, referring to the dark shadows under my eyes. Maybe I don’t sleep enough, or work too hard, or I am just exhausted.
Rohan started crawling forwards this week. That is fantastic and I anticipate him starting to walk around Christmas time. It is crazy to see how quickly the boys grow up. Anyone I speak to says that. Before you know it they leave the house. Does that mean, I am old before I know it?
There is so much more to write about this week, and a lot more personal thoughts. I will do that for next week’s blog in greater detail, as I have been quite busy this weekend. That is good I suppose. I managed some quality time with the family.
I guess that’s all for this week folks. Sorry for the rather short summary; promise to have a full catch up next week.
Have a good one.
Volker
Sunday Column (136)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on October 9, 2011
I believe last week was one of the busiest working weeks I had for a long time. I still notice it today and needed the weekend to really chill out. Not easy with the two wee ones, but I managed ok. It is a taster what life might be looking like for the upcoming month.
Also we had one more new starter this week (who is a keen reader of my blog ) – it is fantastic to see how the office is growing. Exciting times ahead.
Finally our garage got us our car back. There is a new noise but they say it is ok. Guess we shall see over the next few days if they are right or wrong. After a 3 week ordeal I am certain to say that I won’t go back to Kwik Fit. I think I am going to try an independent garage around the corner for our MOT which is due at the end of the year.
I have been trying to work less at weekends. Saying that Rohan is just looking at me, playing with things on the carpet, whilst I write the blog. You sometimes wonder what 8 months old kiddies think. Do they remember anything or are they just “hanging about”?
Colin on the other hand loves the swing and the sea-saw. The slide of course still gets him excited too. Yesterday he started kicking a ball about and enjoyed playing on the basketball court. Maybe we get him to be more sportive than his parents after all?
I think I am still fighting some kind of virus. With the weather changing from 26 degrees to 12 degrees within four days I am not surprised. October and autumn are clearly here. Time to put the heating on, wrap up, gather the leaves and prepare for winter. I am looking a bit forward to winter, and some quality family time.
Guess this is all for the week. Nothing overly exciting. I went to a Hypnotherapy Event with Richard Bandler on Friday. It was good to see the founder of NLP to demonstrate hypnosis. However, looking at him just shows how old NLP is and that some people still think it is a “one size fits all” solution. It’s not.
Maybe a quick outlook to my decisions regarding tablet PCs. I think it is going to be the Sony S tablet: Android platform but I am waiting for the 3G version to be released at the end of the month….
Have a good one,
Volker
Sunday Column (135)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on October 2, 2011
It has been a long week. I couldn’t even tell you why but Monday started out with so much work that I didn’t come home till late. I didn’t see the boys all day. On Tuesday I briefly saw Colin for 10 minutes in the morning, and was heading to a great networking event in the evening.
Wednesday and Thursday I spent in Cologne at a management meeting. I flew back on Friday morning and worked the afternoon from home, so the kids could at least see me for a little bit.
Having family seems to be a balancing act. You are glad you have a job and a career. You are happy that things progress in your job and you enjoy your work. You put a lot of effort in to constantly get better and better.
On the downside you don’t want to clock up too many hours in the office or travel a lot. You prefer to be with the family. And that is where the clash is coming in. With me probably travelling more within the next few months, I need to make sure that the time I have with the kids is properly spend. No interruptions when I am home. So that is something I need to learn. To not check emails when I am with the kids, and to be home when being home. I guess it is a new process and a new life but another step up. For both the kids, myself and within my career.
I guess they call it work life balance. I have been studying that for a long time but find that the practical approach could be somewhat different. Switching your brain off when home is difficult. Whenever I ask older people with family and careers I get different advice. One is that you should see your kids in the morning before you go to work as you never know whether you make it home for bathing time. Then to be home when you are home, see above. Also, one should use the time with the kids to relax and de-stress. I am confident it is manageable as so many other people have done it. You of course need a supportive wife
Anyway, tomorrow is the 3rd of October. Looking at the weather and having had a look at September, the month just passed very quickly. I can’t understand we are already in Q4. That was very quick. Also it is a public holiday in Germany tomorrow, celebrating the reunification. I am going to put a special blog post on tomorrow to share another few thoughts on Germany and my relationship with it.
Oh, and we finally got our car back. No gear box or wheel bearings, just the handbrake and a v-joint. Latter is still to be replaces as they kept waiting for the part. So fingers crossed it is all in order again. They had to replace the hand brake but there are still some awkward noises to be heard. So the story continues…
That’s it. Some thoughts on family and work. Nothing new I suppose, just another blurb from my corner of the world. I spend the weekend with the kids, going for walks, visiting friends and playing trains. I loved it. Good to be home.
Have a great week, and a great October.
Volker
Sunday Column (133)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on September 18, 2011
I don’t want to start with “what a week” again but it was….I squeezed my official working hours into a 4 hour working week and feel like Q4 has already arrived. With me pretty much being out of office for the remainder of the month, I am very busy catching up on things. But, things are moving in the right and a very positive direction. I am very excited.
Enough about work, as this week there were two main highlights. One was that I met my American friend again for drinks. We had a fantastic time and caught up again. Great night, fabulous time. I wish I will see him more often, and who knows, maybe I will. Catching up on 17 years and looking at the present and future just takes time. He is a true friend, it is fantastic.
The other highlight was the weekend. My wife decided to go away for the weekend. So I had a whole weekend with my boys. And I did enjoy it very much. It made me realise how well you have to be organised and how much you have to concentrate on the two little men rather than yourself. We went to a play group, had lunch, diner, play in the garden and the usual bath. They were both so exhausted that they fell asleep instantly on Friday. So did I after a glass of wine.
Saturday was different again. We went to town to do some errands, then played at home and had a wee nap. Including myself of course. Plan was to drive to the golf course to go for a walk but the car made a funny noise so I took it down to the garage – it might be the gearbox 
Just what I needed before our big trip to Germany next month. I guess better now than when we are on a big trip. So we walked around Kelsey Park and got soaked on the way back, heating and drying up in front of the fire.
I don’t want to sound too proud but I am, being able to get them to bed in time and being organised enough to get through the day was an achievement. I know that my wife does it every day and has a different routine but for me who hardly gets involved but the weekends, this is quite a thing. Of course, as my wife argues, she has to do a lot more stuff on top of “only taking care of the children”, where I might have taken short cuts. No ironing, less cleaning, disposable nappies etc. But, I was surprised how easy it was at times. If I wanted to do it again? A clear yes, but not on a regular basis. Maybe men are just not made for that
But seriously: I think it made me realise how rewarding it is to be an entertainer for two young kids for a whole day. How responsible you have to be in order to feed them, change them and cuddle them at the right time. It made me realise what a crap dad I am at times when I forgot to take Colin’s milk or when I had to call my wife over again to ask small things that I didn’t know. Shouldn’t a dad know about everything.
Surely, I would have survived without my wife being reachable, but it helps. I value and appreciate her doing this job every day, and it made me realise that I should maybe more often take the boys out myself. I can do it. Maybe it would help my wife too if I take them a Saturday or Sunday. I always think it happens automatically when they get older, but I guess I don’t have to wait, do I?
Also by doing that on a regular basis, it will help me to bond with the kids. To understand their needs and understand where my wife’s challenges are. I love being able to help more, but as in many households, I decided I want a career. I love working and I am passionate about what I do. So it is difficult to be the best at both worlds. But, of course, I continue to try.
So I am glad once the wife comes home again and takes charge
Next week will be busy. The ATS and dmexco are about to happen, so lot’s of catching up to do with media and exchange guys. I am really looking forward to that.
Buzz me if you are at either event.
Have a good one,
Volker
Sunday Column (129)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on August 21, 2011
Oh well, a fantastic week, wasn’t it?
Sitting here at the weekend I try to remember what all happened this week. Work seemed to be very busy the first half of the week with it getting less busy towards the end. However, then picked up last minute again. I guess it is holiday season and most people are away. Nevertheless I can’t say I am bored, just the opposite, plenty to do. That means, September is going to be mental?!
Enough about work, although I realised this week that more and more people in the industry are friends rather than colleagues. I guess we are a small little family in online, and particularly in RTB. My article about RTB has been published by more people now, and it is an exciting space to be in. And this space is growing, and I keep meeting great people.
Now, enough about work I keep having discussing with people trying to figure out where I would like to live, and when and how and why….really by the end of this year I’d like to make the call and decide where I want to settle for the next 2 years. I don’t mind London, but I mind the endless thoughts and ideas of it not being London. That sounds like I wouldn’t like to go abroad but that’s not it. I wouldn’t mind at all, but if so, it needs to be soon, and I’d like to get started sorting it. But one step at a time, there are still lots of discussions to be held. Work and private ones.
Oups, did I mention work again? I guess it is where I spend most of my time, but I love it too. Just Friday I had a great conversation with my COO about things, and I am very excited about the next few months.
And (non work related) there were another couple of companies this week that are worth mentioning:
a) Southeastern: for the past 7 years I travel with them into London but keep not getting a seat on half of my journeys in, and think they don’t do anything to listen to their customers. It starts to really p* me off!
b) Ocado: the last two weekends they managed to make mistakes again. I don’t mind a company making mistakes, we all do, but Ocado’s mistake seem to happen every week. I speak to them each week, get refunds and free bottles of wine. But that isn’t helping. All I want is for them to keep their promise and deliver the best service and products ever. I am fighting for it, as I don’t want to shop anywhere else. Maybe I write the CEO a letter this week, we shall see.
Now the kids: I mainly sit with Colin in the morning having breakfast. And he gets upset if we don’t. I sometimes manage to be home to put them to bed, settling them. We are making progress in settling Colin by leaving his door open and stand on the door, waiting for him to sleep. And if he gets up at night we put him back to bed rather than taking him in ours. Allegedly the way forward, less stressful for him than holding the door shut and letting him cry to sleep. And we are feeling better about it too.
Rohan started moving backwards a bit and will be on the run soon. I truely enjoy them both but I am also quite certain this is it. 2 are enough
Then Oma and Opa came to visit over the weekend. Colin got all excited and loved to see them. We went down to Sevenoaks to visit Knole. This is a deer park and castle. A lovely day out which we finished with a nice meal. A fantastic day, great for walking and strolling, and playing golf.
We chilled on Sunday, got some family business done and some shopping. Just what the doctor ordered. I am planning to have a detox next weekend for 3 days from Friday to Sunday, so finishing my t-total month with a proper cleanse. And then I will be off to the next challenge.
Have a great week,
Best,
Volker
Sunday Column (127)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on August 7, 2011
Another week. I thought up until Wednesday, that this week would be as non-stressful as last week but Thursday and Friday hit me hard. I think the holiday season is over. However, in the meantime I got a lot of work done, lots of admin, got some reading and webinar listening done too. So all good. I also discovered a new productivity tool Evernote
This summer is a funny one. Hot one day, rainy the next. My 30 day challenge not to drink is paying off. No bacon butties or ham & cheese croissants for breakfast, no cold sweat from lunchtime beers. It is weird not to drink but I noticed that I sleep so much deeper and better whilst I do fancy the relaxation a good glass of red brings with it on a Thursday or Friday night.
This week we found out that our old neighbour died at the age of 93. She was my first neighbour when I moved from Aberdeen to London, and she thought I was Scottish. When she found out that I was German, she got a bit funny. I later found out that she got bombed out three times in the war, was scared of Germans and her husband, being Canadian, served in the RAF. It took her some time to get used to me and by the time I moved away 18 months later we were good friends. That surely was also down to my (now) wife moving in, giving her a hand in the garden. She was a lovely old lady, left on her own by her family, lived in Beckenham, in Blandford Road, all her life. Bless her.
No one of us, particularly the ones with kids, hope to ever been abandoned by their children, to die alone. I am scared of it, but you never know what life puts ahead of you. At the moment I enjoy both boys very much and had a chance to bath and sort them both out on Thursday night. I don’t often get the chance, not that I ask for it too often as it is a lot of work, but on the odd occasion I enjoy it.
They are both in at a great stage. I think life could go on forever like that. Colin starts speaking, enjoys time with me, cuddling time with dad, and is so curious. Rohan just starts standing a bit and laughs all the time. Two so different characters but great personalities. As I stated on Facebook, I am very proud of them.
There weren’t any other highlights this week. I bought a few books, mainly personal development ones, I got geeky with my laptop and installed some Chrome apps & extensions, and we did a lot of thinking how we want to plan our life moving forward. But can you ever plan life?
This is a funny one, so I leave to philosophise about life for another time. I met an old mate again this weekend and his newborn son. We met with friends of Colin for a BBQ and caught up with lots of mums and dads.
How has life changed, ey? For the better of course, for the better
Have a good week,
Volker
Dreaming boy – life as it is
Last night our oldest, 2 year old, woke up. It wasn’t yet 11 pm when he did, e.g. had about 3 hours sleep. You heard him kicking just before it kicked off, then he started crying. Sobbing at first, then slowly getting louder.
I was laying in bed, about to go to sleep. I was paralysed not knowing whether I should go in and speak to him or whether he might go back to sleep. My wife got him up and comforted him.
It took us almost an hour for Colin to go back to sleep.
I wonder if that was his first nightmare. Whether he realised it was a dream. Whether or not he will remember what he dreamed about. He was so upset, nothing could calm him down. No biscuit, no cuddles. Eventually, being over-tired, he fell asleep in our bed and could be safely transferred back into his own.
Surely, a lot of parents reading this will say “this is normal”. This is life. Of course it is. What I am wondering about is how much we will remember of this situation or any other. How much will we remember of those exciting, for Colin so life changing, moments.
My parents surprised me the other day that they didn’t remember me playing Basketball. I played Basketball for many years, it was a very important time in my life, and it still plays a major part in my life that I tried to be a good basketball player. I even sometimes regret that I never picked it up again after I stopped playing when I was 15.
I am afraid. Somehow I am afraid that when I am 50 or 60 years old, that I won’t remember Colin’s first nightmare, or whether he was an easy or difficult child. You live through so many new events and experiences that you only remember the important ones. You need to blend out the less important ones and need to forget about the less important ones. I think that is normal.
However, I believe you start losing memories of some precious moments, some important moments that only happened then, now. And they will never happen again.
That is life for you. It is that simple.
Sunday Column (120)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on June 19, 2011
This week was unreal. With me being off for Colin’s 2nd birthday on Monday, I even forgot to check my work emails all day. That was fantastic. I spent a really good day with the family and truly enjoyed it. Much needed.
Overall, last weekend, spending time with the family, was fantastic. I didn’t think I’d enjoy it that much but I really did. The whole family being together. I start realising that family becomes more and more important in my life, and that my focus starts shifting, if slightly, towards a more family focused life. Who would have guessed? But how couldn’t it with such a great wife and two gorgeous boys
Now on Tuesday my boss from Germany was over, and Wednesday/Thursday we spent in Brighton at a conference. It was not only a good conference, good networking, and good booze up but also great chats and new ideas. We shall see what comes out of this but I think it is going to be great.
Friday was just a quick catch up with work, getting on top of things, realising that most people I wanted to speak to were not available. Holiday season started. However, I managed to catch up with a good friend from my German fraternity who will move back to London soon.
So the main focus, and I almost feel guilty, was the weekend again. Time with the family, and time with kids. I really enjoy doing that.
These are the main developments. I found out about some interesting stuff, including school systems in the UK, and about some other possibilities. And, as always, it makes me think. No imminent or hasty decisions though, so not to worry
And, for a long time, I managed to watch a movie again: The Expandables. Fantastic entertainment. Followed by a bit of Braveheart on freeview What else can you wish for on a Saturday night?
Have a fantastic week, I will be blogging about social media once again, so hopefully you enjoy it. After my “social media rave” with Ocado I got a positive response from them this morning. So companies are reacting to social media, I remember when I was “arguing” with Vodafone or BT a while back. Maybe social is my real passion?!
Love and Kindness,
Volker
Wee man in Brighton
Hi Rohan & Colin,
Today I am in Brighton at a conference. I see you again very shortly.
V
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