Posts Tagged feelings

Sunday Column (497)

Whilst I am not sure what the main highlights were this week, yet surely England playing in the World Cup would be one of them. A stellar performance beating Columbia, finally winning a penalty shootout in a World Cup. The nation deserves a good football result in the World Cup, it would surely boost its confidence and get the nation closer together. And we are on our way to bring it home, what a great game against Sweden as well.

I know, we Brits always complain about the weather. But seriously, we are not used to good weather, heat waves and that lasting for more than 4 weeks! We are blessed somewhat with a proper summer this year, however I find it too warm and too muggy and just not very pleasant. 15 degrees, sunshine, that’s all I would ask for. Then next summer it will be all wet, raining all the time. I bet you, we will complain again 😉

Then, I spent another two days in Germany this week with one of my contracts. Not only do I get the feeling that I can help, it also makes me think about Germany. What is it like to live there? Could I ever consider it again? And one of the conversations I had was about ‘the lost generation’, a phrase I coined a while back, and I wrote about ‘my Germany’ before on this blog, and you find a few reviews when you search for it. The generation I am talking about, and I am not 100% sure you can nail it down to specific years, but if I had to I’d say people born 1975-1979. A generation heavily influenced by the generation that lived through the war, or was born during or just after the war. People that heavily influenced your upbringing based on old views of the world. Yet the generation is also heavily influenced by what came after, a Germany open to foreigners, growing up with a large Turkish community for instance. A multi cultural, open Germany. So having found someone who understood my theory of sitting in between the young, integrated and the old influencer society, was nice. I truly enjoyed chatting about the feeling and meaning of ‘being German’ and how it has influenced our decisions to e.g. move abroad, travel or explore other homes outside the fatherland.

You can see I still have strong bonds to Germany and interesting enough met someone too, who has done the opposite swap: moving to Germany from the UK due to finding love there. And those are the reverse stories of myself, the stories life writes. I like to look at all of them at some point and tell them to people. I think there are so many great stories surrounding a closer Europe. As I mentioned before I went through a lot of interviews with French people recently in my job search, and I enjoyed every bit of it. Isn’t it great, a united, borderless Europe. Now, there was this thing called Brexit, wasn’t there? Don’t get me started.

So a thoughtful week, an intense week, a very warm week. A good week though, it was good to have the conversations I had, the emails I sent and received. I could have slept more, particularly the hotel I was in, but that’s part of a travelling job. I slept a lot over the weekend trying to make up for it. It is what it is, and I enjoy it, which is nice. I love seeing the progress and how things just fall into place. Buddha bless.

And next week? Another trip, another start, and hopefully it all falling into place.

Wish me luck, you can never have enough of it.

Cheers,
Volker

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Buddhist Thoughts: Showing Feelings

This is a rather long quote I found the other day. But it reminded me of our feelings. It reminded me of our game we play of too often: pretending what we are not.

Look at children. Of course they may quarrel, but generally speaking they do not harbor ill feelings as much or as long as adults do. Most adults have the advantage of education over children, but what is the use of an education if they show a big smile while hiding negative feelings deep inside? Children don’t usually act in such a manner. If they feel angry with someone, they express it, and then it is finished. They can still play with that person the following day.

– His Holiness the Dalai Lama, “Imagine All the People”

Children are a joy. Having two of them can be daunting at times but overall the positive things outweigh any potential drawbacks.

Children however are honest, they just tell you how things are. They don’t pretend to not feel ill or to feel ill if they are not. That might of course change once they get to school 😉

As His Holiness says, all the education isn’t helping to NOT show feelings. Eating things up, not letting things out, having pent-up feelings is causing more distress than trying to let go, accept feelings and showing them. And this is true for positive as well as for negative feelings.

I believe we grown-ups too often swallow things rather than expressing things. And, I believe this leads to people being unhappy and unsatisfied.

Talk to each other. Address issues. Don’t take it personally.

Love and Kindness,
Volker

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sensory acuity

Inspired by the book I am reading Turning Passions into Profit – 3 Steps to Wealth and Power and my NLP Master Practitioner with Sensory Systems in Glasgow, I revisited the term of “sensory acuity” today.

Christopher Howard writes about the importance of sensory acuity as people with outstanding communication skills are able to notice things in their sensory awareness that others do not. Being able to notice on all levels of senses gives you an advantage and the ability to notice things that most people don’t even realise exist. It will unlock your potential to create the results you desire in your interpersonal communication.

Which senses are we speaking about:

* sight – visual sense
* sound – auditory sense
* feelings – kinesthetic sense
* smell – olfactory sense
* taste – gustatory sense

And, what impressed me with Howard is that he differentiates, as a true NLP professional, between the inner and the outer world. Depending on our models we perceive the world differently. Being aware of the different senses and being able to read (and write) them, will make us better communicators.

NLP has the model of input (senses) that then “relate and compute” (pattern/map) into output (behaviour). We also add the “feed-forward”, a prediction what will happen in the world. And, all of that is put back into a feedback loop to how we perceive the world and being “sensory acute” about it.

Our internal voice is referred to as “audio digital” input rather than the audio sense, analog, of the external world.

How is that useful?

We can use those senses for goal setting by visualising an outcome and then put that picture in our head. And, it will feel good and you might want to imagine a certain smell, taste or music with it. You can talk to yourself as well and really get a goal into your head. A vision! This vision can be turned into a nice state of mind and something to look forward to. It will sink into your unconscious and your actions will be working towards that goal and objective.

Also, another example, would be if you remember a certain situation. Your last holiday on the beach? You remember the sound of the waves, the smell of the sea and the image….. Don’t you remember the good old time when you turn the radio on and they play a song that you have not heard for ages and it reminds you of your “wild days”?

Sweet memories 🙂

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