Posts Tagged happiness
Sunday Column (217)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on May 5, 2013
Another fantastic week is behind me. Why fantastic?
It was my birthday! If you haven’t congratulated me, you better do so now 
Just kidding, actually I don’t really care about my birthday. And, to be honest, why should I celebrate? Due to a restructure at work I took redundancy. This was a bit unexpected, so not the nicest birthday present. But, as I am a very positive person, this change gives me plenty of time for the family and on the other hand it is a great time to get stuck in all of those pet projects that have been neglected for far too long. So watch this space on some developments.
So what am I up to now?
Honestly, I am doing quite a few things. I started working on this book I wanted to write for ages. So if I continue with this pace I might be able to finish it by….Christmas maybe. Just kidding, hopefully a lot sooner. Then I do some freelance consulting work, including some event stuff. I have been working freelance for a long time but have neglected my cb consulting project for far too long. So I am back pitching myself as digital consultant and performance coach. Whilst doing that I scan the daily job board for any news and see whether there is a full time position to go back to. Latter is most probably what I am going to do in the long term, but for now I enjoy the freedom and flexibility I have. With the weather getting better, I enjoy the time with the boys. Juggling all that isn’t as easy as you might think it is.
Of course I work on my diet and exercise programme too. I now got the time…you might think. Actually the more smaller projects you juggle, the less time you have. On Saturday I even fitted the new kitchen tap. Only took me four hours. I am actually struggling for time to get everything done I want whilst still attend to the family. Also this week I made it to London town for two days to meet people, discuss projects and see how things are. Catching up with friends is good and it is often neglected whilst being in full time work.
So as you can see it is the new me. I am a lot more positive and full of energy than I have been for a long time. And I truly believe things happen for a reason. People you meet, you don’t meet, you miss, you hear from etc. at those moments you realise how amazing life actually is. And who your real friends are. The weather is getting better and I connect a lot more with the kids, playing and just being there when they are around. Listening to the birds, watching nature, explaining things. Perfect harmony. Could we wish for anything more in life?
I know this won’t last forever and the daily grind will (hopefully) soon catch up with me again. But wouldn’t it be nice looking back in a few months saying I got a lot of quality family time out of this break, made new friends, got lots of my todos done and lived the moment? No it’s not always the easiest to enjoy it but I surely try.
In that sense I will chill out tonight. I got a lot of plans for next week.
Have a great one.
Stop at the next flower you see, take a deep breath in, smell life and think about if you enjoy life. Take two minutes to remind yourself you are alive. Remind yourself that you are here for a reason. And that in the end everything is going to be ok. If things are not ok, it isn’t the end yet. So stay positive, live in the now and enjoy what you have!
Love and kindness,
Volker
Happiness in Life
Posted by Volker in cb consulting on May 2, 2013
Sunday Column (216)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on April 28, 2013
This is a post about change. The last week has been a lot about change.
We are living in times of change. We are living in times where the individual and the organisation need to find a common ground. If this isn’t there, we have to make decisions. Simple. Sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better.
I recently have spend a lot of time looking at business principles, spirituality and business and how we can improve ourselves, others and the environment we live in. I am passionate about that stuff and feel I have a duty of care. I am still getting sentimental when my almost four year old gives me a cuddle. I feel his love and be able to share my feelings with him. In those moments, and of course the same is true for his younger brother, I am truly happy and content.
It is the love and mutual understanding we have. It is peaceful and happy. We have discussions sometimes when I don’t like what they do and they don’t like something I do, but overall we are getting along fine. That is worth a lot to me. I guess it is the same with any long term partnership, like my marriage for instance.
Life is a funny one as it comes up with surprises and it hits you hard. I remember losing a job due to the recession back in 2009 just before my first child was born, shortly after I got a new mortgage. You grow stronger through that and learn. You become calmer in the storm and you bring things back to its roots, to grow stronger and bigger.
When people lose loved ones, they either get miserable or raise to the challenge. As Anthony Robbins says, you either change out of desperation or inspiration. There are very inspirational people out there. I remember watching a video of a father who, because his disabled child (in a wheelchair) wanted to run a marathon, started training to run a marathon pushing her wheelchair. These things are amazing and are born out of the given opportunities. Opportunities presenting themselves in life for a good or bad reason, and the key is to raise to the challenge and to not give up.
This week I spoke at a conference about the use of data and about how to use, analyse and utilise data to make decisions more effective and efficient. I love that stuff and that it seems to get more mobile focused and video/connected TV focused. The omni channel approach comes to life whilst each channel gets a new meaning by itself. Loving it
On Saturday I attended a free (sales) seminar by Anthony Robbin’s crew, Harry Singha, about unleashing the power from within. I might have not learned any new techniques but I did learn a lot and recapped a lot on what’s happening in our minds. How I can program my or someone else’s mind in order to help him/her or myself. Power is magic. I definitely want to spend some time learning more about it all. I know it a lot but on the other hand I need to analyse, refine and optimise.
This will be all for this week. Have a great week, start into May, and let me know what you think.
Best wishes,
Volker
Sunday Column (214)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on April 14, 2013
If I had unlimited money, won the lottery or inherited from a long lost aunt I have never heard of, if….when did you last dream about that? How often do you chase your dreams?
Daily. That would be my answer. I am chasing my realistic dreams daily, the above unrealistic dream too seldom.
Living the dream. Having a place to live, a job I enjoy, a great wife and kids. Healthy kids. A network of support, friends and work colleagues. I am living the dream and often I don’t notice it.
Don’t get me wrong, I do have challenges. With work, with the wife, with the kids. I moan (a lot) and I can get angry. But I try, like in moments like now, to calm my mind and focus on the essentials. And those are in order, they make me happy. Of course everyone and then someone manages to unbalance my Zen. I guess the most annoying bit is if you do a reality check on something with someone, and what a person says is really unrealistic compared to most opinions.
Are you one of those people that think if something awful happens, then you will change your life? I used to think that until I realised that whatever happens, no matter how bad, will only be as bad as you experience it. To simplify: you decide how bad a death affects you as suppose to you almost getting run over by a car or missing the bus. All of those events, no doubt one worse than the other, will affect your life. But whether you going to make it a life changing one is entirely up to you. Some people get really motivated from bad news they receive to changing their life.
Living in the now and forming your future is entirely your call. Your decision and responsibility. No one will make decisions for you. You decide entirely yourself. Question: are you ready to make the decision?
Decisions. I made a few decisions this week. One was that a club I looked at is not for me. Then on Wednesday I made the decision to stay at home. I had a temperature, stayed in bed most of the day. What I realised lately is that people don’t call in sick anymore. They work from home and be partly sick. Technology allows me to stay on top of my emails. I work, Skype with colleagues, and don’t relax. One isn’t ill and detached anymore. One is working from home. Odd isn’t it?
I believe that we are no machines and need lots of relaxation to cope with the stresses and strains of life. Life got really busy didn’t it? I do believe I have a good balance. However, four weeks of viruses and lack of sleep because of the boys keeping us up at night, took its toll. Hopefully this week’s temperature is the final step before I return to normal? We had to cancel long term weekend plans too. And, the reality is that we should just de-tach ourselves from work when ill. Technology is both a blessing and a curse. We still feel that we need to stay on top of things.
Anyway. The weather is supposed to get better next week, so fingers crossed this will get rid of all the viruses and bugs. The kids seem better. Hopefully the wife stays healthy, so far so good. We cancelled our weekend plans and the sunny Thames River walk on Sunday which I was looking forward to had to be cancelled due to train issues. The joys of living too far out of London.
I have three busy weeks ahead of me. To be honest, before I know it, I am on a week off for half term. Life is busy. Life is good.
Have a great week,
Volker
Inspirational Thought: Dabble your way?
Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular. ~ Tony Robbins
As you know I only recently became a big fan of Tony Robbins. He has done some great stuff.
Often, we just stumble or dabble through life. We don’t focus or have a certain goal. We just live, are happy(ish) with what we have and resist the urge to change.
We don’t feel like we need to master anything. We just need to continue and everything is going to be fine.
For ultimate success, we need to…
- be clear about what we want to master (have a goal)
- take actions towards it (don’t dabble)
- notice what we get from it and
- fine tune until we reach the goal
Try it today.
You will be amazed.
Volker
Inspirational Thought: Giving makes a living
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. ~ W. Churchill
I am not sure if this is a repetition but never mind.
We make a living by what we get: we work, we get money. We sell something we get money. We exchange things and get things we need.
But we can only make a life, bring a purpose into our lives, by giving. We give and we get given at a later stage, non material.
Isn’t that beautiful when you think about it?
Volker
Buddhist Thought: Embracing Interdependence
Interdependence is our reality, whether we accept it or not. In order to live productively within such a reality, it is better to acknowledge and work with interdependence, wholeheartedly and without resistance. This is where love and compassion come in. It is love that leads us to embrace our connectedness to others, and to participate willingly in the relations created by our interdependence. Love can melt away our defenses and our painful sense of separation. The warmth of friendship and love makes it easy for us to accept that our happiness is intimately linked to that of others. The more widely we are able to love others, the happier and more content we can feel within the relations of interdependence that are a natural part of our life.
Love is possible in all our relationships because all people want happiness. No one wants to suffer. This is true of the people we love. It is also true of those we dislike. We are all absolutely identical in this respect. I think this universal wish for happiness is something we can easily grasp intellectually. When we learn to also feel and respect this in our heart, love naturally flourishes within us.
This quote is from The Heart is Noble: Changing the World from the Inside Out by the Karmapa, Ogyen Trinley Dorje
Whilst this is one of the longer quotes I choose for my weekly column, it is a very nice one. The book isn’t available in the UK until today actually, however I found this quote through some newsletters I receive.
Interdependence: a relationship where one depends on each other. This is reality, this happens. Marriage, work colleagues, friends. Ogyen suggest to embrace and acknowledge the fact that you cannot do everything yourself. Hence, by being compassionate, loving and caring, you embrace this connectedness with others. This love forms a bond between you and others.
Now, the more you share your love, love others, respect others, and embrace the connectedness, the happier you will become. And everyone is wanting to become happy. No one wants to suffer. For this daily practise we should include both friends and enemies as the wish for happiness is universal.
Love be with you.
Volker
Sunday Column (209)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on March 10, 2013
What a busy week. Not only did I have a lot of meetings, including lunches and a function, I had to sort a lot of stuff out. GTD, David Allen’s Getting Things Done, helps a lot to stay on top of emails and everyday business. But hey, I guess that’s what I get paid for.
I have also been tired this week. But before I have a long moan, look at the weather. It is spring, still a bit cold, but spring is in the air. Of course I am tired. Slowly back on the treadmill, spring air and busy schedules make you tired. On the other hand I decided what kind of Mountain Bike I am going to get. Still looking for bargains but got a back up plan to be executed by Easter latest. Progress on all ends.
Or maybe not on all ends. Not sure if you have seen Mary & Martha on BBC iPlayer but I watched it on Monday. Not the greatest or most innovative story, it pointed out two essential points:
- we have a lot of money in the developed world and by giving very little we can improve the lives of many more in the developing world
- family, love for your family and happiness is by far more important than anything else in life, no matter what you think; we often don’t realise it
I don’t want to sound dramatic. Nevertheless, I started thinking, way before that movie, to do more on the charity side of thing. I probably can make a decision next week on that, latest by Easter. I also made the decision to live and eat healthier, that is where my fast and exercise routine comes in.
I haven’t given up on my career or work plans, because I enjoy what I am doing. And I am making progress. Opinion pieces, conference speaking engagement, networking events etc. I am moving in the right direction, keeping the end in mind. Enjoying it.
It throws up a lot of questions of course. Whether you take a few steps towards your goal each week, if you have a goal and whether it is the right one. And of course it would. Some people don’t have a goal, are not sure whether they move in the right direction and whether they enjoy what they are doing. Maybe I am just making this up. Maybe I just think I know. But even if, I still move in the right direction and make progress, because as long as I make progress it is the right direction. If I looked back, then I would look in the direction I am NOT going to. What’s the point?
Progress on the treadmill slowed down at the end of the week. I felt more exhausted and tired, thinking I am coming down with something. I didn’t drink all week until Thursday, when I went to a networking event. It was ok but not amazing. You were forced to drink a lot, e.g. they started boozing you up from 1 pm to better network. I wasn’t too convinced and didn’t drink as much as some others, but met some interesting and relevant people. Just the whole concept of forced “easiness” doesn’t work for me.
So this week has been the busiest this year so far. Lots of positive things happening and new developments. Good progress with my extracurricular activities, and whilst I still like to meet one group, I do believe I made up my mind. Never mind.
At the weekend I took Rohan swimming. Same as I took Colin swimming last weekend, I had daddy time with Rohan this week. Fantastic. Also, we went over to friends’ for a great afternoon on Saturday. And we had a dog.
No, not our dog but we were babysitting a Collie over the weekend because friends of ours went away. It took some time for the boys to get used to it but overall it encouraged me to definitely get a dog for the family. We will be looking into one I guess C is rather afraid as the Collie is too big and has big teeth. R absolutely loved him. So maybe another year, maximum of two. We all like having one but it is a huge commitment compared to a cat.
That kind of sums up the week. Busy but good, exhausted but happy.
Have a great week,
Volker
Sunday Column (207)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on February 24, 2013
Here we go. Another week.
It started somewhat on Sunday night when I indulged myself in a movie. Killer Elites.
Just the kind of movie I enjoy watching. I haven’t really done that for a while. We watch movies on a regular basis but normally a compromise between what I like to watch and what my wife likes to watch. She did something else on Sunday night, so I had the TV all to myself
Anyway, I got some relaxing times with the boys last weekend too which was good as the week prior to that had been busy. Monday I started back at work with a conference about mobile marketing. This then triggered a post about the state of the industry which will be published in March. We came a long way in the last three years.
I have then been publishing those motivational quotes and put some on my own website. I am hooked on motivational quotes and videos that push you over the edge. Or at least they should. They should motivate you, show you the real tests in life and motivate you to do what you like to do. Even my wife got one as a background picture on her phone now, and I am thinking of printing a few to put them in the garage. Sad us 
As I mentioned on my Monday post, I am in a very lucky position. I do what I always wanted to do, enjoy what I am doing and I am passionate about it too. Probably I am closest to be the luckiest person on the planet. But I am grinding. I cannot stop. I have an inner urge and an inner need to grow. And I will.
Most of those videos/quotes are about the happiness and purpose of life. About doing what you enjoy most rather than following the honey trap which they call “money”. Money won’t make you happy. It helps but even if you had all the money in the world, you wouldn’t be a better, wiser or more successful person. Neither would you be happy. Don’t get me wrong, I am money motivated but not only. I can see beyond the first attraction.
I guess that is where one struggles. Watching the last episode of “Africa” by Attenborough made me think once again. Africa being the birthplace of mankind, an ever growing population and an ever growing amount of wildlife that gets extinct. The last continent with life as it existed millions of years ago and we are about to destroy it. As we have done it in other parts of the world.
We sometimes have to think of the bigger picture. Is life about a paycheck this month or about what difference I can make to save the world, someone’s life or how I can help the old lady across the road. Again, the paycheck is important. Everyone has to start somewhere. I am not a believer in God myself, despite believing in a spiritual being, but if you are, thank him for every day you got. Make sure you make the most of it and that you are a good human being. That is what it is all about. If alongside that you can found a family, be good to others, put others’ welfare above yours and make some money, make it a career even, join a few charitable organizations, then I’d call that an alright life.
Is it asking for too much if I want more than that? I want it all. One step at a time though. Prioritizing is important. If I won the lottery….but I haven’t, and probably I never will. Nevertheless, I want to be awesome, motivated, be coached, coaching, healthy, fit, rich, member of a few groups……wow wow wow. I don’t wanna stop. I want to reach for the stars.
And I will.
A bit at a time.
If you don’t have those (or other) goals, you are not reaching for something. At least not in my opinion. I couldn’t just get up every day, sit at a desk for 7.5 hours, go home watch TV, and do that for the rest of my life. I just couldn’t. You should aim to have three things you want to achieve each day. If that is to make someone smile, win a new piece of business (or a step towards that), or really help someone out – that is up to you.
But I enjoy what I am doing. Even I have limitations: for instance I couldn’t exercise this week due to shin pain. I have a cold. My MIL is around. I got more lie ins. The kids didn’t sleep. I didn’t sleep much at night. I had too much drink.
I am alive though. My heart is beating and telling me that I move forward. My head made huge progress on a project this week, and I had a fantastic catch up with some folk this week too. Actually if I try to put all the things where I think I made a step forward on one side of the scale, then there is no way the negative things will weigh it up at all. They just wouldn’t. And, somewhat I believe they never will.
But maybe that is for another time. Another sentimental post. Time to go back and play with the kids. It got cold outside. Our fridge broke. Our hoover broke. But that all doesn’t matter as this moment I will turn off the computer and spend time with my boys. No matter what.
Get onto your dreams. Don’t waste time.
Carpe Diem. Simple.
Best wishes,
Volker
Sunday Column (203)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on January 27, 2013
This week was dominated by flying and associated chaos. Work took me to Cologne on Monday. With the snowy weather I was worried that we might not make the flight. We left the office in time, checked the websites and then arrived at Paddington to find out that the Heathrow Express wasn’t working. Hence we cut it fine and just made our flight using the tube. Wow. A bit too much travel stress for my liking on a Monday.
Back we went on Thursday, thanks to an unannounced strike by security personnel, we spent 3 hours in the queue and had an hour delay before arriving safely in London Gatwick thanks to a fabulous Easyjet crew. I normally don’t mind travelling, and travelling in a group is always easier. Having said that, if you make your own schedule it is easier if you don’t run into problems. Chicken and Egg. This time we really worked well travelling as a team. The next bigger trip is with the family, this won’t be easy either. No question, Friday turned out to be a slow day. Having not slept Thursday night, I hit a wall around 4 pm and almost fell asleep at my desk. Last week was exhausting.
Three days of sales training paired with good catch ups across our European offices really motivated me. I haven’t actively been selling but got really keen refreshing some of those skills. I actually dug up my SPIN selling notes, Conceptual and Strategic Selling book again when I got home. The fun training paired with some booze and fantastic colleagues as well as a meeting with my cousin made this trip highly enjoyable. I am on fire. Push ups anyone
Chats about parenting styles left me reflecting on how you bring up your kids, how much time you want to spend away from the family and what is really important in life. How much trade off are you prepared to make between family and work, career and seeing the kids. It seems to be difficult to make the right decision and / or finding the right balance. I keep working on it. I missed my two boys this week and of course missed my wife. I believe with me living so far out of London that I don’t see the children during the week, I am just “home at night”. Assuming this still counts as being home, however if I was away like friends of mine in the consulting business working from Monday to Thursday away, neither me or my wife would like that. Luckily I am not. Having done the bi-weekly 1-2 nights away, I think that is manageable. This is a difficult one. If you haven’t seen “Up in the Air” with George Clooney, have a look for it. You don’t want to end up like him, or do you?
Having been back to Germany was interesting. I detach myself more and more from being German and thinking like a “typical” German. Of course it is not as black and white. However, still being able to speak the language, paired with English humour and elegance , seems to get you a lot further in this country. A big publisher said a few years ago “I make my life more enjoyable through sarcasm”. Maybe another good way of putting it. Charming the hotel staff or the airport security works better using some less available skills Germans have paired with my German-ness. I love it…sometimes
Anyhow, you probably already noticed that I enjoyed this work week, spending quality time with people I like, I work with (and like) and have known for many years. Most of us have been launching my company in their respective country and mastered similar challenges. We have a lot in common!
At the weekend we had a nice get together with some local folk: parents of Colin’s preschool mates. Lots of booze, great chats and discussions. I am slowly but surely get properly settled within the community. I like it down here. Hassocks is great and I am trying to sell it to friends to move down here too. There is a 3 bedroom available in our road, and plenty smaller and bigger houses around the place. Newly builds and Victorian.
Sunday, finally, Colin came up with the chicken pox spots. So he should be finished with it just in time for our planned trip. I was thinking for a while that he might be immune to it. We made another pulled pork in our slow cooker and had a chilled out day, trying to get on top of some of the mail etc. Another problem when you are away for a week, you have loads to catch up on.
Have a good week. The weather looks warm and rainy. So maybe spring is in the air already? We shall see.
All the best,
Volker
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