Posts Tagged life
Sunday Column (151)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on January 22, 2012
Now this week was busy but good busy if that makes sense. Monday started with some really good news. It is good to get confirmation of something really nice. So life is good to us. Thanks.
I had a lot of discussions this week about challenges. As I wrote in several of my Buddhist Thoughts: you come across challenges in life that you need to resolve. If you resolve them you can move on. Sometimes you don’t get new challenges or things overall look like a challenge. Then one needs to decide whether one likes to solve the challenge here and now or somewhere else later. I guess that is just the way it is. I had a few conversations like that this week. For me, I always try to resolve issues first in the here and now. You might not get a chance to resolve them later, so go for it whilst you can. Soaring new heights where you are I suppose.
We humans are the only mammal that drinks milk after we grow out of a child’s age; and we drink milk of other mammals too. I am saying that because we are the only ones that think about the past and the future, and can make relation to each other. And I am saying that based on a discussion with one of my work colleagues this week. We are the only ones that can control our minds. We humans are quite fantastic really. I started listening to “Buddha’s Brain“, a book/audiobook looking at the science of Buddhism and the way we can shape our own thoughts for greater happiness, love, compassion, and wisdom.
Quite fascinating really if you think about it. So challenges as well as us humans controlling our mind shape our future, our thinking and ultimately our actions. And, we are in control. The latter is almost scary. A lot of work on ourselves can result in a lot of power and success. Now we are talking about a perfect state where I would like to be: a balance between the spiritual development, the career development, satisfaction at work and at home, work /life balance and constant challenges to develop. We can do it; let’s just balance it right.
I guess I am drifting a bit. But sometimes it is good to let your mind flow. Some discussions this week showed me that my filters for life are a lot different to other people’s filters of the world. You can agree, disagree and discuss. But sometimes you realise that you are too different. So finding common ground becomes more of a challenge. That is when we start at the beginning of this blog post again. However, I spend two great nights and a good lunch in the company of great minds that think alike….
There is not much I could complain about in life at the moment. Maybe that Colin goes through the phase of “not liking his daddy“. Maybe that we still haven’t sold the house or found a new one. Things take time. It seems we have found a car though. The kids teach me patience each day/night. Almost every day this week I got home at night thinking that I learned something and that things are moving in the right direction. A blessed feeling. A good feeling.
I am happy. Now I need to make more people happy. I am trying. I am trying hard.
Buddha bless, have a great week ahead.
Volker
Sunday Column (124)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on July 17, 2011
This week has been weird. It really has.
I had holidays booked from lunchtime Thursday, so I tried to finish what I could work wise just before. I ended up – without deleting – to miraculous make a document disappear and was typing information back into an excel sheet last minute before I had to leave. However, I finished things off and off I went on holidays….
Leaving work wasn’t difficult as I worked from home on Thursday, giving me some time to wind down. Then, after lunch, I wanted to go to the airport for my booked BA flight to Berlin. However, that didn’t happen.
Wednesday night both kids kept us up all night. Last week the wife was by herself and had a hard time coping, so when one boy was teething this week and the other having a bad cough, we decided that I better stay home.
I was gutted. Still am. I was supposed to stay with an old school friend in Berlin and attend a wedding on Friday of my Vietnamese friend from Aberdeen to his German Vietnamese (now) wife. All to happen in a Scottish / German / Vietnamese environment in Cecilienhof, a more than historic place. I can’t wait to hear how it was, and good luck to both of you.
Did I mind? Of course I did. But would have I mind more if my wife had called me on Friday saying she couldn’t cope? Or if both boys had felt worse? Oh yes!
And, if that had been a business trip, I had to either postpone it or we had to get help. This time I had a choice.
What sounds like me looking to justify our decisions, is probably exactly that. Can you justify any decision? A day before the wedding you tell the couple that they have to change the sitting order, that there is one less friend to attend? But that is life.
Life is greater than a single event. Greater than our jobs, our houses, our possessions. Life is just that: L-I-F-E. You never know what happens, and you have to make decisions, as hard or difficult they might seem. As much as they might influence others, you call the shots, as your priorities are health of your children, your children, your family, then you, then your friends. And, of course, everyone understand.
I saw it from a positive point of view, I gained an additional two days with the boys. We spend quality time in the garden building sand castles, playing with the trains and having a play about.
You know what I learned over the last 2 years, 1 month and 8 days? Life is not only about you, and you alone. Life is for the greater good, for your kids. Life is for the next generation. Not for you or for your parents.
We live in the now, we are here. We can only change this one moment, and we can only make decisions based on the facts we have and the time we have to make those decisions. And that is it. Nothing else.
But in any doubt, your offspring takes priority over anything.
I am still learning.
Have a great week,
Volker
Sunday Column (115)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on May 15, 2011
Now this was, you might have guessed, another wild and quick week. Looking back on what has happened this week I can say that I grew from both a personal but also from a professional point of view. That means life is good, I am progressing 
Colin, for the first time, used a potty this week. He is growing up so quickly. His vocabulary is growing by a word a day. My wife says that other kids his age come up with the same words, e.g. “nee-naa” for fire engine, as this is the sound they hear and associate it with. Fascinating. His favourite word is “outside” as he cannot wait to get outside the moment he wakes up in the morning. Guess we just live in the right country for that 
The sandpit finally arrived on Monday and I was keen on playing with him in it this weekend. Despite the unsteady weather we went for a fantastic walk, played in the sandpit for a while, and went to the swimming pool.
As of my post the other day about food and life (or life and intention and food), I am working hard on my personal development and improvement of my energy levels. I have the feeling that I make a lot of progress given the little time and sleep (regeneration) I have at the moment. Hence my progress seems to accelerate all the time with my regeneration and hours of sleep improving. Does that make sense?
On that note, Rohan started to slowly but surely move himself using his arms. He just turned 3 months! A strong boy, less weight than Colin though at his age. So it looks like we are blessed with another energy bundle but quieter, lol. He is great. For a baby I really enjoy having chats with him, e.g. when Colin was that age I didn’t really know what to do. One grows up so much oneself by having children, hence I started the new column “precious moments“.
I guess those were the highlights of the week. Our solicitors threw a party in the Shakespeare theathre opposite St. Paul’s cathedral. Nice to say the least.
Our friends from Essex visited on Sunday and little Katie & Colin had a great laugh. It is great to watch your children engaging with other kids the same age. A lot of fun. At the aforementioned party I ran into two mums and we ended up discussing babies and kiddies all night. Life has definitely changed I am getting old, lol.
I hope you have a great week yourself and things are good for you whereever you are. For the future I’ll try to post more often, to share a lot more insights about personal development and progress from an energy point of view. And of course the life of a family man.
Keep looking. The answer is out there.
Cheers,
Volker
Precious Moments (1)
Posted by Volker in family, precious moments on May 14, 2011
I thought I start noting down some precious moments. Moments that stop you in your tracks: make you think.
Saturday morning. My 23 months old and I play in the garden. Whilst at 7:30 am it is still a bit cold, the first sun rays start warming us.
It is amazing how with every bit of something new for Colin, e.g. a fly, a noise, a snail etc., he is astonished. With everything new he discovers, I start discovering the world too. Again.
Isn’t the world fascinating? Isn’t it precious to see some simple flies mating in the cold air of dawn? Isn’t life precious to have given the chance to explore that, to value it?
Life is worth it to stop in your tracks and look at the little wonders of nature.
A precious moment having had the chance.
Sunday Column (111)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on April 17, 2011
Another week, and another week where I anticipated to write a few blog posts but never got around doing it. Monday I was in the office until late, and same on Thursday. Tuesday and Wednesday I made it home for bathing time and spend a few hours afterwards catching up on things. To say the least, we are busy.
Latter is not a bad thing, and I am not moaning. I enjoy what I am doing, who I am doing it with and what our company and my work is all about. It is great. Really.
Just on Friday I went to the nma live event and saw how much buzz is in the industry. I try to summarise my thoughts on RTB and use of several DSP technologies at another blog post later this week. If I have time. But the buzz and interest is amazing. We are part of a new striving part of the online marketing industry. It is just fantastic and mind blowing at times.
Now enough about work. Colin finally got his 2nd set of molars through, so hopefully he’ll be less grumpy. Rohan slept a bit more this week, maybe because of his injections. After we couldn’t visit our friends due to Colin not being well, other friends of ours couldn’t visit us this weekend because their little one wasn’t well. The joys and pain of having kids, but you wouldn’t want to trade them for anything in the world.
I still strongly believe that if you don’t have kids, you are missing out: mainly on the pain and strain and the challenges life brings. Your food bills would still be the same in 10 years time, your house still the same size and your carpet would look like new. Seriously, whilst I never was fussed to have kids, I couldn’t imagine or wanting to imagine my life without them.
There hasn’t been much else happening. We are trying a new food routine to loose weight. Our take away bill got too high and I noticed the wine cellar emptying on a more regular basis. So we are all set to make it work this time to shed a few pounds. Not that custard crème cookies in the office help much 
We are positive, happy and content. Our new sofa should arrive this week, Easter is upon us and hopefully a lot of reunions with friends. If the kids don’t get sick…
So onwards and upwards. Time is there to live and enjoy. And we do. Also I spoke to my long time friend Marc today, and that we had our 16th birthday party together at his house, smoked roll ups with Fisherman Friends and got someone to avoid alcohol poisining by giving him salty water to spew. Yes, we remember, only 8 years ago. Oups…18!
Are we getting old? In all fairness, I haven’t been sick of booze for a long time, not had a roll up for many many years and generally, yes I am getting more settled.
Time just moves on, that is for certain.
Have a great week,
Volker
Sunday Column (100)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on January 30, 2011
100 Sunday Columns. My wife was hoping the wee man number 2, or as the FT columnist would say, “cost centre number 2″, had arrived by now. But no sign yet.
However, this week I spend the day at work, the evenings in the hospital, and the nights working more….where to start? My wife has a high blood pressure resulting in her having to be under observation, so she was in hospital. My MIL is down and looks after the boy, so things overall were well planned and worked out very well. Thank Buddha for MILs and family
Now work was busy with meetings. Most of them with my boss who was over from Germany. We achieved a milestone this week for some meetings, and also in regards to recruitment. Things are going well. We also open more international offices, so things are overall on the up.
All week, particularly on Friday, I had some problems with my waterworks. That resulted in me calling in sick. After a handful of pain killers, a GP visit, I decided to drop my wife off for another check up. I ended up spending my afternoon in the car park, working via mobile internet and got quite a lot of work and calls done. What times we are living in? Working anywhere any time?
That was the week really. I guess my breakfast meetings with loads of black coffee didn’t help me. Anyway, I was in real pain on Friday night again, and slept most of Saturday afternoon, doped with ibuprofen. Now I abstaining from coffee and alcohol. No red wine at the weekend is weird
Due to all of that, I didn’t spend enough time with Colin all week or at the weekend really. I enjoy going shopping to Waitrose, gas my car at independent gas stations, buy books from Play.com and wondering if Amazon or Tesco notice my change of habits? I am more content these days whilst being more stressed about things. I am living but just to get through the day.
What is happening? It is the “living in between your lives“. Still waiting for the baby. Being ready anytime to jump on the train to get home. Giving 100% at work, knowing there is so much to do. Waking up at night not sure whether we need to go to hospital. Managing the office and staff. It is all good, but I want to be the best at everything, not taking time off for me. But I know I should. I should just stop being online for a day. Someone just said he will be on holidays for 3 weeks this summer without internet access. My friend went to Africa a few years ago where there was no Blackberry reception – on purpose. I sometimes think it is sad to think we need to escape in such a way. But we are all very passionate about what we do. So it is difficult to just stop it.
We seem to be chasing daylight. We are passionate about what we do but smart enough to take a full break. But we need to do it. I just think about at the moment it but I will. I will extend on that in more details when I publish my ppt about the way we are working.
Yes, I will change my life. Once I get into a routine with the boys I plan to be back at the gym, eat a little different, and slim down a bit. I am not unhealthy but I could be so much fitter. That needs to be done. And, a proper week’s holiday this year maybe. With 100% time dedicated to the family. That is what I want to do.
And whilst I think about all my little problems, my theories about life, and what I want to do….there are so many other people to be considered.
I worked in Egypt for a while and see the pictures on TV. I feel for my Egyptian friends. They need my compassion more than anyone else at the moment. They are on the eve of a revolution – or already in the middle of it.
Let us be compassionate with all the people that have so many more problems than ourselves. And, let us hope that the baby finally comes. This way I can start planning my life again and get my life back….it is not all that bad but I keep telling clients I might have to cancel due to the baby being born. I said that 2 weeks ago…..
Love and Kindness from my corner of the world.
Volker
Sunday Column (85)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on October 17, 2010
I might be a bit lazy writing my blog at times, but you might have seen the posts last week. An up and down that usually depends how much time I have at the weekend.
This week I had a good week. I think anyway. No alcohol all week which was nice. I even managed to meet some friends without drinking. Whilst this sounds awful to admit, I think we all drink to much. Tony Blair admitted it in his book too. The whole society likes a tipple. It is just when you decide not to, you stand out, and almost feel awkward. Like an alcoholic because you don’t do it. It will be, similar to smoking, one day socially unacceptable to drink. It’ll come.
This week had one story. A story that will write or already wrote history. The story of the rescue of the 33 Chilean miners. 33 men. 33 stories. 33 families. I was crying when I saw the first one coming to the surface. It is human tragedy, and we all like to watch it. But it is real. The psychological pressure, the strain on the health, being separated by their families.
I remember more human tragedy. 20 years ago the fall of the Berlin Wall. Then 9-11 which will be 10 years in 2011. Or 7-7 in London which is 5 years ago. Events at the opposite side of the spectrum of good and evil, but emotionally both up there with the rescue of those 33 men. I was there when all of those things happened – here on earth. I saw history in the making.
It is remarkable how these events let humans grow closer together. How things like wealth, health, religion, money or possessions become so unimportant. When it is about survival. When it is about helping each other. That is what these events bring out of the human race: the pure basic instinct of being good to each other, and to cherish the love you can give, independent from status, religion or any background really.
Although I just wrote about Colin last week. Children have these instincts widely available. Because society hasn’t taught them about money, possessions, status and evil yet. And they haven’t been taught yet that a drink is essential to be part of the cool gang. And 10 years ago smoking would have been on the top of this list too. Will being a vegetarian be normal one day too?
On Friday we went out to an “all you can eat” buffet. It was really nice, a good night out. I was stuffing my face – because I could and because I enjoyed it of course. But in my opinion this is all the same attitude and behaviour.
That is where my thinking turns to Buddhism. Life is about love, sharing and caring for each other. Life is about healthy, moderate living. A life independent from status, money and possessions. Life is a lot about learning, and personal development.
Of course I am not there yet. But sometimes I wish I was.
Thoughtful, and happy.
Volker
Sunday Column (65)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on May 23, 2010
Wow, what a week. Hardly saw the office this week, or home. But absolutely loved this week too…
Dear work diary,
I spent all Monday in meetings and late into the evening to do work in the office, whilst on Tuesday it didn’t look much better. However, I made it home for Colin’s bath. Wednesday, whilst my boss was over from Germany, we spend most of the day in meetings, decided on a new office and I made it to Manchester and back before having a great time with clients in a Thai restaurant and club called Bam Bou. After a short night we had more meetings, and the week was finished with a day in the office.
Dear life diary,
I had a fabulous week, seeing my son grow up, clapping his hands. He also almost walks and is very cute to watch in the bath. At the weekend we met a lot of his friends. Friday night my wife convinced me to go for an Indian which was a fantastic idea. I was met at the train and we took Colin along. On Saturday we actually managed to spend the day away at the sea. We went to Whistable.
What shall I say. This week really flew past. Whilst writing part of this our Saturday diner is in the oven. An experiment of cheese crusty chicken with asparagus and tatties. Cigar maybe Movie maybe. I am exhausted and think that all the ideas I had to do alongside work just don’t get enough attention.
By the way attention. I now get poked by my wife more often through facebook as she got herself an i-phone. I know, I am the old geek now with a blackberry whilst she is the cool lady with the white i-phone. Not much to add, lol.
That should be all for today. Apologies for another short post, but I try to improve next week….
Love & Kindness to you all,
Volker
Sunday Column (49)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on January 31, 2010
What a busy week lays behind me. After a weekend, which wasn’t a relaxing weekend, I found myself being off sick on Monday. Some virus got me down and I worked from home with more breaks and naps than I would normally have. I wasn’t well.
I felt better over the next few days, partly because I had to. I had a lot of social engagements and meetings at work. Networking parties, a trip to Leeds and Manchester and more meetings, emails etc. You know the drill. So work is very busy at the moment and things are going well. I cannot believe it is February already and I have been in my new job for a month. Time flies.
Colin, who I saw little of this week, is growing up. I believe he develops his own character, slowly but surely. He is playing by himself whilst I watch him. However, we believe it is due to his teething, he seems to have a bit of diarrhoea. Shall see and hope it is nothing serious.
Tai chi this week was good, and it will be one year next week. I believe that this is the first activity in a long time I have stuck to for as long as a year. Still I enjoy it and it is good to have a day a week to complete relax and wind down.
Saturday night we took our wee man to friends’ house for supper: Burns Supper. I had my first vegetarian Haggis which gave me heartburn but tasted really nice. It was a great night but unfortunately our baby wouldn’t settle at all. Too much noise, different smells etc. So we had to call it a night at 10 pm and he fell asleep not even seconds after we put him in his own bed. Bless him!
On Saturday we looked for car seats and came to terms that our car just cannot fit the car seat we think is appropriate for Colin. So it is either a compromise on safety, no car or a new car. We spent most of Sunday looking at cars and the results are quite simple:
- Jen and I are both tall and need a car which fits potentially 2 car seats and us plus a pram.
- We don’t want to spend too much money but need to go through a car dealer for our conscious of buying quality and because they offer finance deals.
- Whilst I don’t care less about status, brand or looks, my wife is thinking more about the latter.
The choice will come down to either a big 4×4 (and by big I mean Shogun or Land Cruiser, potentially XC90, Sorento or Outlander), or a people carrier – here it comes down to price….
Anyway, enough thoughts about cars. The more I look at it the less I am interested. I would like to spend little, get much, have enough space, enough security and still have a reliable car. No need for design and looks, just pure functionality – to be continued.
Enjoy your week, enjoy February!
Gedanken = thoughts about a boy
Since I started my new job, I have been busy, and I have been speaking more German than I used to. I believe that Colin is benefiting from that, as I try to make the extra effort to speak German to him. Fingers crossed.
I also thought I just write a few lines about his development. My wife already said that I missed things out in Sunday’s post. But I would – I only see him a few days a week. Tuesday is one of them. Tuesdays I make an extra effort to be home early and try to bath the boy and put him to bed. Tonight I managed.
It is great to see him grow. I don’t believe that he is over 7 months already. Before we know it, he is going to be a year. He is sitting up right already, bouncing up and down and says “dada”, not quite in relation to myself yet, but the sounds are there
My wife has done a fantastic job of taking some new pictures of Colin. If you are in our distribution list you will get a link to all of them. We love to share these pictures, however we don’t want them to be distributed all over the place. Anyhow, I think my wife should become a professional photographer. What do you think?
When Colin was born I was less overwhelmed than I thought. Even before that, seeing the first scan, it was just all like it is supposed to be, supposed to look etc. I believe that we have seen development of babies too much these days, it is documented everywhere, and we think we have seen it all. But, 7 months on, I find that I still struggle to comprehend that this little worm on the scan was actually Colin. And today, Colin was sitting in the bath “reading” the book he got from his god mother about animals squirting water whilst I just sit there and watch him. He is self content, happy and can entertain himself. This would have been unthinkable a few months ago when he was crying and shouting much more often.
I reckon that in a few weeks time, maybe a couple of month, I will write about how much he has grown and how much he is crawling. He crawls backwards a bit and tries to figure out completely how to turn himself around. We are getting there and there is no hurry. In his own time.
My wife got a new buggy today, one that we can fold up and take with us anywhere: planes, cars, trains etc. We are getting used to the idea of being more mobile with him. He is eating proper food and enjoys it a lot. His favourite I believe is still macaroni cheese but he also likes the lentil coconut dish, and fish!
It is great. Seeing a child grow up is still a miracle. But you have to see it, you have to look at him and experience it. Hence I try to spend more time with him, and I am destined to take him swimming on Sunday….
Volker Ballueder
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