Posts Tagged love
Sunday Column (222)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on June 9, 2013
Another quick week because I have been busy. Looking for a job, trying to engage with the family and having a part-time project is a lot harder work than going to work it seems. This is not to moan but you have to chase every lead if you are looking for the right next job, talk to recruiters and have interviews. This is very time consuming but of course very important to do. Necessary even.
There is a lot of pressure on me finding a job. If you accept redundancy you usually aren’t in a hurry, and financially this might be right. However, when your wife and children have one routine and you have another, you have different expectations on how your day plans out than them. This can cause friction. So the rush, whilst still money driven, is also for the ease of routine to master life in bigger strides. Monday mornings get a whole new meaning 
At the moment, trying to fit in a dentist or making time for the pub seems difficult, yet it comes down to planning around those dates. What if an interview crops up then? Prioritising is key. So at time if writing I am on my way into London again. A few meetings and the Rotary. Tomorrow I am going back for a conference to network and speak with people there about more opportunities. It will be good, a great industry get together.
The weekends are planned to a certain extend. Summer is in town and I can hear the sausages sizzling on the BBQ this weekend. A summer fayre at the local school, and Colin’s first swimming class. Actually it was a great weekend. With a massage, Colin’s first proper swimming class, a fun summer fayre and great BBQ with friends. Lots of sunshine and a great walk on the Ditchling Beacon to round it up.
The world seems at ease, a cool breeze blowing over the growing grass, and a quiet environment strengthen that we made the right decision to buy so far out of London. Saturday marked the one year mark. A year ago we moved to Hassocks, had a small but significant building project and lots of plans. Some came true, some we are working on. We are happy, it is a good place to bring up the kids, good schools, high living value what Germans call “Freizeitwert“. Cycling, mountain biking to be precise, swimming, walking or hiking and the small butcher down the road, the play farm, the old pub, local produce for food and drink. It reminds me of childhood, safety, peace and contentment. Life is good if you stop a second and have a look at it you will discover it too. The smell of freshly cut grass, the local boy delivering the paper.
I enjoy life but despite my situation I am almost too busy. I need to learn how to let go more often, to put the phone down and live the moment. Being in the here and now. Helping Colin to learn cycling. Teach Rohan to be less of a ‘pickle’ and let him teach me patience. The list goes on 
I picked up this quote from a newsletter this week: If we choose a job because we’re good at it, we may not love to do it. But if we choose a job we love, we’ll also be very good at it. Like Steve Jobs quote that if we find the thing we want to do in life, we will know it, in our heart! My next job is really important to me. I would like to do something that is cutting edge, with prospects to grow big and really enjoy it. Some place I can try some new things out based on trust (and analysis and strategy of course) to make a difference to the company and put it on the map. I am ready for the next fight to disturb the industry.
Anyway. For now I am exhausted. A long weekend finishes and we got some catching up to do before I have a few big days planned next week – including Colin’s 4th birthday. It seems like yesterday him being in the moses basket, 36 degrees inside the living room (a hot summer!), and I was hunting for a job too. Life works in mysterious ways.
Embrace it.
Have a great week,
Volker
Buddhist Thought: Cultivate Love
It is time to fill the world with strong and powerful deeds. It is common knowledge that no great captain in the world has ever destroyed all of his enemies and lived with a sense of satisfaction. If one enemy is killed, two more will appear. It is important we cultivate love and compassion to all the sentient beings which is the way to bring peace to all.
Dalai Lama
When I first read this quote I was a bit overwhelmed. I was remembered of the tale of the dragon with the two heads. If the prince cut one off, two grew in their place.
We need to do good in this world.
No captain, as the Dalai Lama explains, ever got rid of all his enemies and was happy and satisfied afterwards. Similar to the dragon, once you got rid of all your enemies, more appeared.
We cannot get rid of our enemies but we can love them. Instead of trying to “eliminate” bad things, try to love them and be compassionate towards them. You then bring peace to everyone, and you won’t have any enemies again – ever.
Have a good day.
Love and Kindness,
Volker
Sunday Column (216)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on April 28, 2013
This is a post about change. The last week has been a lot about change.
We are living in times of change. We are living in times where the individual and the organisation need to find a common ground. If this isn’t there, we have to make decisions. Simple. Sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better.
I recently have spend a lot of time looking at business principles, spirituality and business and how we can improve ourselves, others and the environment we live in. I am passionate about that stuff and feel I have a duty of care. I am still getting sentimental when my almost four year old gives me a cuddle. I feel his love and be able to share my feelings with him. In those moments, and of course the same is true for his younger brother, I am truly happy and content.
It is the love and mutual understanding we have. It is peaceful and happy. We have discussions sometimes when I don’t like what they do and they don’t like something I do, but overall we are getting along fine. That is worth a lot to me. I guess it is the same with any long term partnership, like my marriage for instance.
Life is a funny one as it comes up with surprises and it hits you hard. I remember losing a job due to the recession back in 2009 just before my first child was born, shortly after I got a new mortgage. You grow stronger through that and learn. You become calmer in the storm and you bring things back to its roots, to grow stronger and bigger.
When people lose loved ones, they either get miserable or raise to the challenge. As Anthony Robbins says, you either change out of desperation or inspiration. There are very inspirational people out there. I remember watching a video of a father who, because his disabled child (in a wheelchair) wanted to run a marathon, started training to run a marathon pushing her wheelchair. These things are amazing and are born out of the given opportunities. Opportunities presenting themselves in life for a good or bad reason, and the key is to raise to the challenge and to not give up.
This week I spoke at a conference about the use of data and about how to use, analyse and utilise data to make decisions more effective and efficient. I love that stuff and that it seems to get more mobile focused and video/connected TV focused. The omni channel approach comes to life whilst each channel gets a new meaning by itself. Loving it
On Saturday I attended a free (sales) seminar by Anthony Robbin’s crew, Harry Singha, about unleashing the power from within. I might have not learned any new techniques but I did learn a lot and recapped a lot on what’s happening in our minds. How I can program my or someone else’s mind in order to help him/her or myself. Power is magic. I definitely want to spend some time learning more about it all. I know it a lot but on the other hand I need to analyse, refine and optimise.
This will be all for this week. Have a great week, start into May, and let me know what you think.
Best wishes,
Volker
Inspirational Thought: Giving makes a living
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. ~ W. Churchill
I am not sure if this is a repetition but never mind.
We make a living by what we get: we work, we get money. We sell something we get money. We exchange things and get things we need.
But we can only make a life, bring a purpose into our lives, by giving. We give and we get given at a later stage, non material.
Isn’t that beautiful when you think about it?
Volker
Buddhist Thought: Embracing Interdependence
Interdependence is our reality, whether we accept it or not. In order to live productively within such a reality, it is better to acknowledge and work with interdependence, wholeheartedly and without resistance. This is where love and compassion come in. It is love that leads us to embrace our connectedness to others, and to participate willingly in the relations created by our interdependence. Love can melt away our defenses and our painful sense of separation. The warmth of friendship and love makes it easy for us to accept that our happiness is intimately linked to that of others. The more widely we are able to love others, the happier and more content we can feel within the relations of interdependence that are a natural part of our life.
Love is possible in all our relationships because all people want happiness. No one wants to suffer. This is true of the people we love. It is also true of those we dislike. We are all absolutely identical in this respect. I think this universal wish for happiness is something we can easily grasp intellectually. When we learn to also feel and respect this in our heart, love naturally flourishes within us.
This quote is from The Heart is Noble: Changing the World from the Inside Out by the Karmapa, Ogyen Trinley Dorje
Whilst this is one of the longer quotes I choose for my weekly column, it is a very nice one. The book isn’t available in the UK until today actually, however I found this quote through some newsletters I receive.
Interdependence: a relationship where one depends on each other. This is reality, this happens. Marriage, work colleagues, friends. Ogyen suggest to embrace and acknowledge the fact that you cannot do everything yourself. Hence, by being compassionate, loving and caring, you embrace this connectedness with others. This love forms a bond between you and others.
Now, the more you share your love, love others, respect others, and embrace the connectedness, the happier you will become. And everyone is wanting to become happy. No one wants to suffer. For this daily practise we should include both friends and enemies as the wish for happiness is universal.
Love be with you.
Volker
Sunday Column (209)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on March 10, 2013
What a busy week. Not only did I have a lot of meetings, including lunches and a function, I had to sort a lot of stuff out. GTD, David Allen’s Getting Things Done, helps a lot to stay on top of emails and everyday business. But hey, I guess that’s what I get paid for.
I have also been tired this week. But before I have a long moan, look at the weather. It is spring, still a bit cold, but spring is in the air. Of course I am tired. Slowly back on the treadmill, spring air and busy schedules make you tired. On the other hand I decided what kind of Mountain Bike I am going to get. Still looking for bargains but got a back up plan to be executed by Easter latest. Progress on all ends.
Or maybe not on all ends. Not sure if you have seen Mary & Martha on BBC iPlayer but I watched it on Monday. Not the greatest or most innovative story, it pointed out two essential points:
- we have a lot of money in the developed world and by giving very little we can improve the lives of many more in the developing world
- family, love for your family and happiness is by far more important than anything else in life, no matter what you think; we often don’t realise it
I don’t want to sound dramatic. Nevertheless, I started thinking, way before that movie, to do more on the charity side of thing. I probably can make a decision next week on that, latest by Easter. I also made the decision to live and eat healthier, that is where my fast and exercise routine comes in.
I haven’t given up on my career or work plans, because I enjoy what I am doing. And I am making progress. Opinion pieces, conference speaking engagement, networking events etc. I am moving in the right direction, keeping the end in mind. Enjoying it.
It throws up a lot of questions of course. Whether you take a few steps towards your goal each week, if you have a goal and whether it is the right one. And of course it would. Some people don’t have a goal, are not sure whether they move in the right direction and whether they enjoy what they are doing. Maybe I am just making this up. Maybe I just think I know. But even if, I still move in the right direction and make progress, because as long as I make progress it is the right direction. If I looked back, then I would look in the direction I am NOT going to. What’s the point?
Progress on the treadmill slowed down at the end of the week. I felt more exhausted and tired, thinking I am coming down with something. I didn’t drink all week until Thursday, when I went to a networking event. It was ok but not amazing. You were forced to drink a lot, e.g. they started boozing you up from 1 pm to better network. I wasn’t too convinced and didn’t drink as much as some others, but met some interesting and relevant people. Just the whole concept of forced “easiness” doesn’t work for me.
So this week has been the busiest this year so far. Lots of positive things happening and new developments. Good progress with my extracurricular activities, and whilst I still like to meet one group, I do believe I made up my mind. Never mind.
At the weekend I took Rohan swimming. Same as I took Colin swimming last weekend, I had daddy time with Rohan this week. Fantastic. Also, we went over to friends’ for a great afternoon on Saturday. And we had a dog.
No, not our dog but we were babysitting a Collie over the weekend because friends of ours went away. It took some time for the boys to get used to it but overall it encouraged me to definitely get a dog for the family. We will be looking into one I guess C is rather afraid as the Collie is too big and has big teeth. R absolutely loved him. So maybe another year, maximum of two. We all like having one but it is a huge commitment compared to a cat.
That kind of sums up the week. Busy but good, exhausted but happy.
Have a great week,
Volker
Sunday Column (180)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on August 12, 2012
Just one of those weeks I guess. A tad stressful but an ok week I suppose. Too much booze but good catch ups. Good nights and chats but no gym training due to a sore foot, just not my week I suppose. And to finish the week off I pulled a muscle in my upper back, eating pain killers like chocolate raisins. I am getting older I suppose.
You know, some weeks, and normally the ones with the unpleasant muggy weather, one just never gets on top of anything. You run out of time, assume train times, miss connections, get delayed. Like a pattern you attract these things. Happens. Line drawn. The universe? What have I done?
You know some weeks, you think you live in paradise. You find out a neighbour gets burgled, and someone tries to steal a cash machine from your local bank. Did we move to the wrong place? Have we made all the right decisions? Are we good? Will the universe be good to us? Will we find our positive energy again?
Of course we will. All things work out at the end, and eating the elephant in small pieces will get us there eventually. Then again if we had won the 148 million in the lottery jackpot this week, we could have accelerated a lot of things. Including retirement
I was thinking about challenges this week, those tasks you have in front of you. The ones that get you out of your comfort zone, get you going, get you learning. All here, all good. That is important to me. That makes me. If those challenges are gone, I will not survive for long, I will seek new ones. I must be crazy I think sometimes. I just cannot relax and chill. Onwards and upwards. Over and over again.
Like an Olympic athlete I suppose. Always be ready, ready to win. To fight. To go the extra mile. To sacrifice. To be the one. To be positive. Yeah! Chaka!
Now the week ended with me presenting my productivity deck at work again. It has been over a year since I last presented it but I still find it useful to my staff. The reason is mainly to create awareness of your energy household, your needs, your aims and objectives and what you really want in life. It is about finding your own path and your own balance. This includes work-life balance but also spiritual balance, dietary balance and physiological balance. I did what I enjoy most: teaching and coaching useful things. Each slide could have been an hour presentation. A seminar. A session.
The weekend was quiet-ish. My back hindered me to do much. A low in DIY enthusiasm, we spend the Saturday chilling out as a family. Sunday on the other hand we went to visit friends in Winchester. They just had a baby boy and it was really good to see them.
It has been a long week, an interesting week. The sun is out and watching the boys in the garden gives me the greatest joy. Walking in the quiet cul-de-sac meeting the neighbours. Potting new plants. Playing and sitting with the boys in the garden watching the world go by. Relaxation. Family.
We arrived.
Have a great week.
Volker
Sunday Column (168)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on May 20, 2012
What should I say. An eventful week has passed. Summing up the last weekend, we went to a Christening. It was a Catholic Christening and I still feel a bit awkward to go to Churches. I guess I have been a bit detached from religion if you don’t count Buddhism as one. Anyway, it was a great event, and a nice get together afterwards. I hope, once we move, that we stay in contact with all those fantastic people we met in Beckenham over the last 8 years.
We also got a new neighbour. I didn’t post about it as I didn’t want to be the first one announcing it. A fantastic occurence if you think about it. Whilst having two kids of my onw it is still a miracle thinking a new human being enters this world. I love it and still get a bit sentimental.
Nevertheless our two are more than enough work. Nothing warms my heart more than coming home from work or travel and getting big hugs, kisses and a play about with the boys. I absolutely love and adore them!
I travelled to Milan this week and got a chance to read more of the Joan Baez biography. Page by page I realise what kind of world she used to live in. Segregation, inequality between races and genders. I actually cried a bit when she described her relationship with Dr. King. Those hippies set out to change the world, not to become super rich. Their motivation was “to make a dent” in the universe, nothing else.
Have you thought about the values you are living for? More money, bigger car or bigger house? It doesn’t work like that. It never will. Attachment and greed will ruin our society. Nothing about earning more money, being more successful but at some point you have to stop and think about it. Are a couple hundred more a month worth the additional hassle you have to put in? I guess it depends which level you are talking about but stop and think about it for a moment. Happiness comes from within not out of your wallet.
Making this impact I described above drives me on. Flying to the international offices and making a difference. I enjoy doing that. Having these 19 hours days collapsing at the end of the day with a satisfactory feeling. This is the dent I am making at the moment. On the exact opposite end I enjoy turning everything off during my flight and just relax. That can work wonders too!
Taking these powernaps at 30,000 ft. I love doing that. The 10 minutes after lunch or on the couch on a Saturday afternoon after the boys woke you up at 5:30 again. I guess I am lucky I can do that
We all followed the Facebook IO on Friday. Isn’t it fascinating that a social media network is worth so much money by the input we all provide. Should we not all have a bit of a share package? After all if we all withdraw our membership Facebook would be worth nothing. Interesting thought, no?
Anyway. Just when I left work on Friday someone stopped me in the street saying “Volker, you remember me? You interviewed me last year.” I didn’t remember him. He thought I was arrogant admitting it and saying he could add me on Linkedin. Crazy. I normally have a good memory but over the last 12 months I met so many people for interviews and business, how could I possibly remember who is who. I guess I was right (arrogant again) to not employ him, as he obviously didn’t make any lasting impression on me.
We spend the weekend on a 3rd birthday party and a school party down in Hassocks. I got some sun and we finished the day with a curry in our local restaurant. We cannot wait to move. Hopefully we finally exchange contracts on Monday. Fingers and toes crossed.
Have a great week.
Best wishes,
Volker
Buddhist Thoughts – Partner’s Communication
Living with your partner, or being close with anyone – yes, this could be a work colleague, as we all know that we spend more time at work than at home – causes conflicts. That is normal.
Now today’s quote suggests the following:
It is very important that you do not compare your actions to your partner’s or judge your partner’s behavior as unskillful. Rather, focus on your own actions and take responsibility for them. Recall those times when you looked into your partner’s eyes and saw the pain you caused this person you love to suffer. If you can admit your own faults, if you can see how hurtful your actions were and tap into a sense of concern for your partner’s well-being, then compassion and loving-friendliness will flow.
- Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, “Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness”
Bhante says that instead of fuelling the conversation and make it hostile, you should stop in your tracks and think. Take responsibility! Focus on your own action!
By doing so you are less or not at all hurtful. You focus on your own mistakes instead. Be understanding, reach out to your partner and sow the love.
In return you will receive love, happiness and less conflicts.
Have a great day.
Volker
Sunday Column (133)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on September 18, 2011
I don’t want to start with “what a week” again but it was….I squeezed my official working hours into a 4 hour working week and feel like Q4 has already arrived. With me pretty much being out of office for the remainder of the month, I am very busy catching up on things. But, things are moving in the right and a very positive direction. I am very excited.
Enough about work, as this week there were two main highlights. One was that I met my American friend again for drinks. We had a fantastic time and caught up again. Great night, fabulous time. I wish I will see him more often, and who knows, maybe I will. Catching up on 17 years and looking at the present and future just takes time. He is a true friend, it is fantastic.
The other highlight was the weekend. My wife decided to go away for the weekend. So I had a whole weekend with my boys. And I did enjoy it very much. It made me realise how well you have to be organised and how much you have to concentrate on the two little men rather than yourself. We went to a play group, had lunch, diner, play in the garden and the usual bath. They were both so exhausted that they fell asleep instantly on Friday. So did I after a glass of wine.
Saturday was different again. We went to town to do some errands, then played at home and had a wee nap. Including myself of course. Plan was to drive to the golf course to go for a walk but the car made a funny noise so I took it down to the garage – it might be the gearbox 
Just what I needed before our big trip to Germany next month. I guess better now than when we are on a big trip. So we walked around Kelsey Park and got soaked on the way back, heating and drying up in front of the fire.
I don’t want to sound too proud but I am, being able to get them to bed in time and being organised enough to get through the day was an achievement. I know that my wife does it every day and has a different routine but for me who hardly gets involved but the weekends, this is quite a thing. Of course, as my wife argues, she has to do a lot more stuff on top of “only taking care of the children”, where I might have taken short cuts. No ironing, less cleaning, disposable nappies etc. But, I was surprised how easy it was at times. If I wanted to do it again? A clear yes, but not on a regular basis. Maybe men are just not made for that
But seriously: I think it made me realise how rewarding it is to be an entertainer for two young kids for a whole day. How responsible you have to be in order to feed them, change them and cuddle them at the right time. It made me realise what a crap dad I am at times when I forgot to take Colin’s milk or when I had to call my wife over again to ask small things that I didn’t know. Shouldn’t a dad know about everything.
Surely, I would have survived without my wife being reachable, but it helps. I value and appreciate her doing this job every day, and it made me realise that I should maybe more often take the boys out myself. I can do it. Maybe it would help my wife too if I take them a Saturday or Sunday. I always think it happens automatically when they get older, but I guess I don’t have to wait, do I?
Also by doing that on a regular basis, it will help me to bond with the kids. To understand their needs and understand where my wife’s challenges are. I love being able to help more, but as in many households, I decided I want a career. I love working and I am passionate about what I do. So it is difficult to be the best at both worlds. But, of course, I continue to try.
So I am glad once the wife comes home again and takes charge
Next week will be busy. The ATS and dmexco are about to happen, so lot’s of catching up to do with media and exchange guys. I am really looking forward to that.
Buzz me if you are at either event.
Have a good one,
Volker
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