Posts Tagged Personal Development
Today is Fathers’ Day. And, I had the first full and good night sleep in a long time. So today was a good day!
In the The Secret Daily Teachings newsletter I came across the following:
You can limit yourself by the story you have created about you. Here are some simple examples of how the story we have created about ourselves can limit us:
I am no good at math. I have never been able to dance. I am not a very good writer. I am very stubborn. I don’t sleep well. I am very moody. I struggle with my weight. My English is not good. ….
And so on, you probably find many of those examples in your daily life. It is suggested to identify those limitations and change them. You know how hard that is? Self consciousness is difficult to change, mantras, ever so small, are difficult to change. “I am getting old“, I used to say. I changed this to “I am young, I am alive.” In NLP you call that reframing or re conditioning.
Actually, little changes like self limiting believes are easy to overcome. With the help of a good friend, partner or coach, you can use a variety of techniques to change your mantras to be positive and helpful. The deeper question would be along the lines of why you had those limiting believes in the first place. Why think to be old or fat. Why would you think to not being able to lose weight? Because it is easier and gives you comfort. You wouldn’t need to face torture of finding out that you don’t get into a habit of going to the gym to lose weight, or embarrassment of giving up smoking for the 100th time. So why try in the first place?
Breaking out of your habit has to do with belief. A belief in yourself. Your will power. Your confidence about it all. You would need to get started and try to go to the gym on a regular basis over and over again until you will succeed. Starting everyday again until it might become a routine. And you will. If you really want it – you will. So start changing your life today and identify those “comfortable mantras”, because they are holding you back!
Maybe an unusual start for my Sunday column but I didn’t want to write another weekly summary. Despite this week I met a few really interesting people. My cousin was over for Colin’s 4th birthday party and we had a good time preparing the party, having the party (16 kids to visit and their mums) despite the rain, and had a huge amount of Indian food on Wednesday night to wind down. Good times, a mini holiday really. It is good to see that my cousin becomes friends with my wife and the family growing closer together, also of course my cousin being close to the kids. And even I enjoyed the party a bit yet I was very exhausted afterwards. Staying on top of all those kids, playing all over the place, is a real challenge.
But as of the intro challenges are there to be conquered. I identify them weekly and make sure I work on them. I enjoy personal development challenges as they make me grow, both as a person and in terms of portfolio for coaching and/or managing others. But you probably heard that in my first video blog on Friday.
I mentioned before that job hunting is a full time job. And it is. Travelling back and forth to them, following up, learning for it, improving for next time and eliminating job opportunities you wouldn’t have looked at if you were still in employment. All of that whilst having the nagging voice in your head that you need to find a job, well knowing you actually aren’t in a rush. The world is what you make of it, how you play it, what you believe. What are the limitations and what are the things you do really well? Your gifts. And interesting enough there are opportunities that stick out and are “potentials”. Let’s see what the next few weeks bring.
As a former manager once said, I’d rather spend money on Volker making him better in what he does than improving areas he isn’t as good in. I know what he meant. This week I was asked to explain how cookies sync online between exchanges, bidders, publishers and ad servers. I knew it more or less but to be honest, this is not my main area of expertise. I can explain the whole ecosystem but the technical details aren’t for me. I could explain most of them to someone, and I could learn it very quickly, but I won’t take a job in ad operations However, I know it well enough to explain it to someone, and selling ad operations, I could do. Technical enough for that. And what I realise is that it seems to be the most important skill in my area: knowing of technology, know how it works and being able to explain it to others. Not knowing what the algorithm or black box underneath really is though. And, to be honest, there are too many people out there, that wouldn’t even understand some of the basics. And they are in positions that are much higher than mine. Never mind ;-(
That’s really it before I go on a rant. A good week overall. Good catch ups and great conversations. Great family time and a four year old that was so excited to have his birthday, it was fantastic. Life is good. Excitement on children’s faces and them stuffing their face with sausages and cake, dancing in the living room. That is what I will remember mostly from this week. I will forget about my small hangover, the interviews and discussions. I remember the love, the sharing and the fun those little people had. I was glad to be part of it.
And I will remember the movie I watched on Saturday night: YOU GOTTA DREAM, YOU GOTTA PROTECT IT. You wanna get something, you go and get it. Period. (Good mantras btw.)
Have a wonderful week.
Follow your dreams and believe!
I have been busy putting different content together lately but this is another presentation on change management and personal development. Enjoy.
Another Anthony Robbin’s related deck on motivational keys to improve your personal development.
- Zens Chinese Heritage
The Sutra, not the Kama Sutra , are oral teachings recorded from Buddha and old Buddhist folk.
So this little quote says that Sutra is “forever turning”. Constantly changing, evaluating, improving.
You recognise that? To succeed in life or work, to be the best you can say, you need to constantly change, evaluate, improve. That is why Buddhist teachings are helpful for you to improve yourself, to use the theory for personal development.
I use it more and more in coaching.
Have a great week!
Love and Happiness,
As this month I will not arouse myself with alcohol, I hope to be able to write a few more posts, particularly about Buddhism. Let us look at the following quote from the Dalai Lama:
Our problems, both those we experience externally such as wars, crime and violence and those we experience internally as emotional and psychological suffering will not be solved until we address this underlying neglect of our inner dimension. That is why the great movements of the last hundred years and more–democracy, liberalism, socialism, and Communism–have all failed to deliver the universal benefits they were supposed to provide, despite many wonderful ideas. A revolution is called for, certainly, but not a political, an economic, or a technical revolution. We have had enough experience of these during the past century to know that a purely external approach will not suffice. What I propose is a spiritual revolution.
- His Holiness the Dalai Lama
I highlighted in bold a few points:
a) address the underlying neglect of our inner dimension
b) failed to deliver (referring to the outer dimension)
c) spiritual revolution
Only a spiritual revolution will be able to address whatever is bugging you inside. b) and c) state the obvious. If it is politics or if it is personal circumstances, an outer dimension will not make you happy inside. This could be a job, a marriage, possessions or plain money. Nothing will be able to be put upon us that makes us happy and find inner peace but the spiritual revolution.
Of course you can think of the “spiritual revolution” in many terms. But what is the Dalai Lama wanting to say?
Let’s look at a), the underlying neglect of our inner dimension. As long as we, unconsciously or consciously, fight an inner dimension, then we will not be able to be happy. Why is that?
We need to be able to have inner peace. Only with inner peace we are able to develop our spirituality. By overcoming obstacles that we have inside us, and those can be anything from challenges in our job, our relationship or in daily communications, we will not get the inner peace.
Those of you that are working in personal development will know what I am talking about. How often have you had clients that fight the same situation over and over again. With their 3rd employer the same problem as with the 1st, the 4th wife having the same problem as the previous three. No, the problem is inside you! Stop neglecting your inner dimension and focus on the problem inside you. Only by overcoming your inner problem you are able to move on.
Buddhism theories go as far as suggesting that we live in samsara until we overcome all those issues, all personal problems that hold us back, in order to gain enlightenment. And, in order to do so, don’t rely on the outer dimensions but the spiritual revolution.
With Love and Kindness,