Posts Tagged work life balance
Sunday Column (135)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on October 2, 2011
It has been a long week. I couldn’t even tell you why but Monday started out with so much work that I didn’t come home till late. I didn’t see the boys all day. On Tuesday I briefly saw Colin for 10 minutes in the morning, and was heading to a great networking event in the evening.
Wednesday and Thursday I spent in Cologne at a management meeting. I flew back on Friday morning and worked the afternoon from home, so the kids could at least see me for a little bit.
Having family seems to be a balancing act. You are glad you have a job and a career. You are happy that things progress in your job and you enjoy your work. You put a lot of effort in to constantly get better and better.
On the downside you don’t want to clock up too many hours in the office or travel a lot. You prefer to be with the family. And that is where the clash is coming in. With me probably travelling more within the next few months, I need to make sure that the time I have with the kids is properly spend. No interruptions when I am home. So that is something I need to learn. To not check emails when I am with the kids, and to be home when being home. I guess it is a new process and a new life but another step up. For both the kids, myself and within my career.
I guess they call it work life balance. I have been studying that for a long time but find that the practical approach could be somewhat different. Switching your brain off when home is difficult. Whenever I ask older people with family and careers I get different advice. One is that you should see your kids in the morning before you go to work as you never know whether you make it home for bathing time. Then to be home when you are home, see above. Also, one should use the time with the kids to relax and de-stress. I am confident it is manageable as so many other people have done it. You of course need a supportive wife 
Anyway, tomorrow is the 3rd of October. Looking at the weather and having had a look at September, the month just passed very quickly. I can’t understand we are already in Q4. That was very quick. Also it is a public holiday in Germany tomorrow, celebrating the reunification. I am going to put a special blog post on tomorrow to share another few thoughts on Germany and my relationship with it.
Oh, and we finally got our car back. No gear box or wheel bearings, just the handbrake and a v-joint. Latter is still to be replaces as they kept waiting for the part. So fingers crossed it is all in order again. They had to replace the hand brake but there are still some awkward noises to be heard. So the story continues…
That’s it. Some thoughts on family and work. Nothing new I suppose, just another blurb from my corner of the world. I spend the weekend with the kids, going for walks, visiting friends and playing trains. I loved it. Good to be home.
Have a great week, and a great October.
Volker
Sunday Column (125)
Posted by Volker in Sunday Column on July 24, 2011
This week we went on holidays. We rented a berth at Sandy Balls in the New Forest as recommended by some good friends of ours. The environment our berth is located in is fantastic. Lots of forest (New Forest, I guess you got the hint), open fields, narrow roads, country houses and cottages. England as you love it. It is only about 2.5 hours drive from home, of which Colin slept most of the time. So we arrived for a 3 pm check in and started exploring what this place was about. Unfortunately it started raining, so we ended up in the pub with some great local ale, pub food, and a kid’s disco.
I can imagine, at some point in my life, to move to the country side. The English, Scottish or Welsh country side to re-build a cottage, build a Huf House or just move to a renovated propery. Who knows. Life is great out here.
The moment we arrived you could see that Colin got so excited seeing something else, exploring something new! In hindsight he got over excited so that we only could get him to sleep around 9:30 at night. By that time I had a few naps on the couch and my wife was exhausted too. This didn’t improve over the next few days, no matter how we tried to tire out our wee man, he just wouldn’t settle. I guess an older boy would understand and you could communicate with him, a younger one, like Rohan, just doesn’t bother. The joys of taking 2 year olds away from home 
So that was day one. I am normally 
someone that says, I don’t want to go on holidays. It is more comfortable at home, you know what you’ve got, and you have internet. But how important is that all? I can do most things via my Android phone, and a week’s break from my Google Reader won’t hurt (although even that could be accessed via the phone). But you quickly realise how unimportant emails or work become. I am here to quieten my mind, shut up about work and relax. And I did. I finally got some distance between work and myself. For the first time in almost 20 months to not check emails every day. That was about time!
I guess holidays as such are about choosing. Choosing what you want to do and how you want to do it. A concept that I am still mastering. This sounds sad, but from my personality I like to work, get things done, organise and manage things. But since I got my boys I notice how priorities are shifting. I believe it was the Dragon’s Den Duncan Ballantyne’s wife who said in an interview once that Duncan is very good to judge when things are important and when they can wait. I guess it is just a small step up from my work life balance and productivity theories. It is like productivity of not being productive, a clear form of prioritising as my wife would say
Now day 2 was rainy. Whilst I don’t want to go into much detail on how we got soaked first in Salisbury, then at Stonehenge, we had a fantastic day nevertheless. Colin was, due to sleep deprivation, very grumpy and slept everytime we were in the car. I was tired beyond normal and got a mayor headache that could only be cured with wine at night I learned that day that no matter how tired YOU are, and how awful the weather is, YOU have to be there for your kids. Not a great revelation but more of a “I don’t care if you are buggered dad, you are the one that I rely on, you are the one that makes sure I am safe“. This holiday I am learning to be a grown up, to be a father and dad to my two boys.
I don’t want to give you a breakdown of every activity. We did fantastic walks, got rained on more and ended up in a lovely country pub which home made food and local ale. Colin enjoys using his balance bike, and he just loves to be outside. Rohan is just himself, coping well with his first teeth. My wife and I enjoyed a great time away. Much better than anticipated.
Looking back we had a few fantastic days away. Holidays are good for you, and they give you some distance to everyday life. This let’s you concentrate on what is really important: your family and kids.
So we came home on Friday to a new washing machine as the old one died after I put a terpentine (floor wax) drenched cloth in it and it ruined not only the washing but also the whole machine. We now got a washer dryer, just in time for autumn, at least weather wise it looks like we are moving into the darker seasons again already soon.
I am not dreading to go back to work next week, but for a long time I noticed again that there is a life beyond work. Ask me again in 2 weeks if that feeling persisted 
Have a great week,
Volker
Sunday Column (109)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on April 3, 2011
Another week that passed like crazy. I wonder if I am getting busier or if things just happen quicker. I spoke to a few people lately at the end of the week that didn’t remember what happened on Monday. Same here. I wonder if that is sustainable and healthy, and how the pace of work and life might have got worse. Wednesday for instance I worked from home as Rohan was due another scan (everything is ok!). Now, I still spend until 20.30 on the phone discussing work. Wow.
I am not complaining, I like what I am doing (Hello Boss ) – it is more about the pace of life. I have two more blog post drafts, one about friendship, one about the life cycle and speed of life. It is all about managing the speed of change. And, it gets more difficult. Those who keep up will have a great career and life, the others might not have a great career but possibly a better life.
This weekend my parents came to visit their 4th grand child and I hardly got anything done. My Google Reader is overflowing, my twitter needs looking at and writing the blog post was a challenge. On the other hand I spent quality off line time with my friends from Vietnam, my parents and the family. What is more important?
Living the life, being up to date in both social media, personal blog, work and career or to have some off line time with the family. I believe it is a no brainer that family is most important. However, I couldn’t neglect my job either. I am trying to find a good balance. Given my situation, I am most probably much busier at both ends of the spectrum: work and life. But I enjoy it, it challenges me, and I am learning every day. That in return means that in a few months or years, I might be better to cope with more stress and strain than peers that didn’t have a similar experience.
Now, all I am doing is one feed a night. Other dads do two or three (and some don’t do any). I tried more at the weekend, and I find it difficult to cope (even without having lots of wine). Life is just moving so quickly. Also, coming back to my earlier point, I know of people who quit Facebook to not have the need to keep up to date with it. I was contemplating it but came to the conclusion that I cannot do it. My wife regularly de-installs and re-installs the Facebook app on her iPhone. I know exactly what she is thinking. Working in the industry I wouldn’t want to give it up. But what if after Facebook, Twitter and my blog there is more coming. Yes it is all out of choice but how much can we keep up with?
My dad just mentioned to me last night that for him, being 68, a smart phone or an iPad is nothing he is interested in. That is too much to get used to and if his desktop ever gives up, it will be a small laptop replacing it. For him it is even too much to think he could be connected via mobiles/smart phones all the time.
I sometime envy him. I sometimes look at my grandads diary from the 1930ies when he went on the Walz. That is after an apprenticeship a carpenter goes away from home to work at different projects. He took a bus, sat in the sun, having a beer, doing some work and had a good time. Writing a postcard or a letter home, forgot to send it for days, wondering if mum was worried…..
What would he have thought if today all he had to do is update his Facebook status, send his mum a text or email whilst tweeting about the good old life he had. Don’t get me wrong, he of course had stress and strain, but it was different. Less external I would have thought, more coming from within. I got calls before because I didn’t update my Facebook status for a day. The world has changed……
I leave you with those thoughts and hope you have a great week!
Volker
Work Life Balance…
Posted by Volker in cb consulting, spirituality and business, time management on February 11, 2011
Nigel Walsh spoke on TED about Work Life Balance.
What I take from this video:
- I am not 40 yet.
- I want to spend more life with my family.
- I don’t know if my career matches a work-life balance.
- I don’t want to leave it until it is too late.
- Work Life is about the balance of emotions, spiritual and personal relationships and work.
- I work on further concepts and buy his book.
Enjoy.
Sunday Column (66)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on May 30, 2010
Now, after I heard the other day that my blog is boring, and that blogging is boring, I don’t really know what to say. I admit that I used to blog more about work related topics or topics of cb consulting. However, to be honest, I haven’t had much time.
My latest project, mexad, is going well. I launched the company in the UK (HQ is in Germany, and it is not my company ) in January and we started recruiting now, continue recruiting, getting our own office and making a huge progress. I am careful about what to write here, as the technology is so new, advanced and amazing, that too many people want to know too many details Nevertheless, it is an amazing start-up to be involved in with a steep learning curve. All that comes of course with lots of work, long hours etc. But I enjoy that, particularly as I sometimes manage to go home early-ish, see the boy off to bed, and then finish what I have to finish from home later. Flexibility is key.
So overall I believe that my work-life balance has been good. Of course it has been better, but it has also been worse. Getting used to not being at home, not seeing your son during the week is one thing. I also need to get used of not working – for my main job or cb consulting – at the weekend, and being 100% daddy and husband. All of which still takes time to get used to. Mainly, so I believe, because I never stand still, always think, and like to get things done instantly, rather than write them down and get a reminder. Although the latter works well too
Brings me to the topic of productivity. You must have seen my first presentation on that, and I am currently working on more of the same/similar. So over time I want to bring out more information about productivity, work-life balance, Buddhism and management, and time management. Prioritising is something you learn quickly in a start up when you never have enough time to do everything. Fast pace environment – and I am loving it.
This week has passed quickly because of the above. I had very serious thoughts too. A friend of mine lost his wife after long illness, and I have been emailing with a close friend about “home, fatherland and being lost in the big city”. Both serious topics that make you stop thinking about your routine, long hours, long commutes and the idea of “becoming a Shepard in Australia“. The latter is an idea of mine going back over 10 years to just live the wild life….
Anyway, I believe we don’t stop often enough to relax, stop thinking and reflect. We seem to always be in a hurry and not to look back. I am in the process of learning that too, with the help of Tai Chi, meditation and relaxation techniques.
One last word about Colin. He loves crawling, and climbing. He seems to find lots of joy at the crèche in the local Spa, playing with the slide and toys. Hence I might take him there tomorrow. He is so much fun, if you take the time for him. He laughs and giggles, speaks “mum”, speaks “dad”, and you can almost get whole conversation with him.
Also, we went to a good friend’s wedding this weekend in Germany. That was amazing, as they are a very lovely couple. I was reunited with a lot of university fraternity friends again, and had some great conversation – a really good time. We never get that young together again (German proverb, “so jung sehen wir uns nicht wieder”). Shame time seems to pass that quickly. It has been 10 years since I left university in Germany. Pictures to follow or on Facebook.
Enough for today, have a great bank holiday tomorrow, a good week and always look ahead.
Never stop to look at the ground……only those who look at the horizon will find the right path….
Love and Happiness,
Volker
Sunday Column (65)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on May 23, 2010
Wow, what a week. Hardly saw the office this week, or home. But absolutely loved this week too…
Dear work diary,
I spent all Monday in meetings and late into the evening to do work in the office, whilst on Tuesday it didn’t look much better. However, I made it home for Colin’s bath. Wednesday, whilst my boss was over from Germany, we spend most of the day in meetings, decided on a new office and I made it to Manchester and back before having a great time with clients in a Thai restaurant and club called Bam Bou. After a short night we had more meetings, and the week was finished with a day in the office.
Dear life diary,
I had a fabulous week, seeing my son grow up, clapping his hands. He also almost walks and is very cute to watch in the bath. At the weekend we met a lot of his friends. Friday night my wife convinced me to go for an Indian which was a fantastic idea. I was met at the train and we took Colin along. On Saturday we actually managed to spend the day away at the sea. We went to Whistable.
What shall I say. This week really flew past. Whilst writing part of this our Saturday diner is in the oven. An experiment of cheese crusty chicken with asparagus and tatties. Cigar maybe Movie maybe. I am exhausted and think that all the ideas I had to do alongside work just don’t get enough attention.
By the way attention. I now get poked by my wife more often through facebook as she got herself an i-phone. I know, I am the old geek now with a blackberry whilst she is the cool lady with the white i-phone. Not much to add, lol.
That should be all for today. Apologies for another short post, but I try to improve next week….
Love & Kindness to you all,
Volker
Sunday Column (59)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on April 11, 2010
A week that starts with a Monday off cannot be a bad week. Only problem, if you work in sales/marketing, you cannot call people the first day after Easter. Or you can, but with little success.
So this week, just work wise, was both slow and successful. We are moving big time!
My private life is focusing around work-life balance. Or life-life balance. After last week’s post about “what the future holds” in terms of where we would like to live, my wife and I started discussing where and what is the right way forward. Don’t worry, we haven’t come to any conclusion, and nothing will happen for a while. Again, there are reasons for that
However, at the moment I am struggeling to find the motivation to get up in the morning other than for work, e.g. my motivation to go to the gym before work seems gone. I am tired and worn out. It seems I need, according to my wife, a big kick up the ass. That is fine. I am known for pulling myself up and giving myself a kick in the ass, so I don’t consider that a problem. However, I still cancelled the gym
I am open here, although in public, but my life has been focused around work for most of its life / part (interesting analogy). Anyway, whilst work is the center of my life, I am thinking that maybe that has to change. And, by all means, this is not because I don’t like my job. Just the opposite, I enjoy my work very much, enjoy what I do and don’t want to miss it.
Then, watching Masterchef this week made me think that people like Dhruv, Tim or Alex have something everyone has: passion for something. In their case it is cooking and food. My passion is dealing with people, developing, training and making people great: coaching people. Managing people or dealing with people in my job is enjoyable for me. I am at the right job where I am.
However, I believe I need to look into a passion outside work. I hear people saying “you have your wife and kid, a great family”, and they are right. My family and their development is my passion, I just need to realise it more often. I love being with them, doing things.
An example is this weekend. We managed to spring clean the house, tidy the garden and got so much things done. Colin was enjoying being outside discovering many things. And I didn’t even manage to bid on the Grand National. It was all family, home and enjoying time off. And it was great. A very relaxing and enjoyable weekend.
I am very positive and looking forward to achieving lots of things. In my work, but also in my private life.
Anyway, enough of a blether, enough thoughts and views inside my head. Hope I didn’t bore you too much.
Have a great week, full of energy. The weather is surely helping!
Volker
Sunday Column (39)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on November 22, 2009
Hello,
This week must have been the best in years. It is almost like I found my life and found a way how to achieve it. Really, I spend a lot of time with the family and noticed how important that is for me. Just on Saturday I got myself, I mean I got Colin, a hippo for the bath:
On Wednesday I met with good friends from my old work and realised how much I enjoyed the job. Working with the people you like and working as a great team towards a common goal. It was so good to catch up over a few glasses of wine, pizza and great chat. Thanks people.
And, I heard this story about life, work and work life balance – still not sure what to make of it:
A farmer once got some land and thought it was on the sunny side and has a fruitful and great soil. So he was full of enthusiasm to have the responsibility to dig up the land and grow his crops.
He knew that it would take until the next year for him to harvest the fruits, and that it would be a long way to get there. But he wanted to make sure that the soil was perfect, the seeds were perfect and that things would grow in it came out perfect too. So he worked together with some friends who helped him choosing the seeds, and helped him choosing the water, and helped him choosing the right time to put things in place. Some lend him machinery and some helped him to understand how he got the best crops in the world.
Times weren’t easy, times were hard. He had to chase people to get the water for the field before the few shoots dried up. He had to chase people to get some of the machinery in time to get the seeds in the ground. Whilst sometimes it happened in time, sometimes it didn’t. At the same time he started looking around.
On the left was a field his predecessor had worked on and he noticed that it was drying up and didn’t really produce any profit from the crops. It seemed as if they had tried to put more and more effort into the field, just to see that they couldn’t harvest enough to make a profit. However, on his right was a big field. That belonged to a farmer who had done what he was planning to do. But look, he had all the equipment, a few full time helpers and has started a few years earlier than him. He had been harvesting for long, made more profit and ultimately could afford more machinery. Really, a field how it should be.
The farmer got really sad. He knew what he was doing was right, but he thought that he was a few years too late. It seemed that no matter how much effort he put into his field, and however much help he might get, his field would never meet the expectations he had for himself, nor would it be able to compete with the older, flourishing fields. It just wouldn’t work out.
The morale of this story is simple. Sometimes you get into situations in life where you never harvest what you sow. Even in the best playing field with the best players in any game, you never get the best result if they don’t all play towards the same goal. And the same was true for the person who told me this story. He eventually gave up his field and moved on to a new pat, with new friends.
Enough of a story telling for today. Have a great week.
Love and Happiness to you all,
Volker
work balance only?
Posted by Volker in cb consulting, coaching, performance on September 10, 2009
Yes, you read correctly. There is a new approach David Allen, the GTD guy, wrote in his book “Making it all work“. Or maybe it is not a new approach but a different thinking I personally like.
He says pretty much to forget about a work life balance. David argues that people put too much emphasis and pressure trying to separate the two: work & life. He further says that the concept of balance is irrelevant as you only seem to focus on it when you don’t have it.
By just focusing on what you are doing that moment, trying not to count the minutes you play with your dog as supposed to type your article for the press, it gives you more energy. It is about living in the now and thinking about “What am I doing”, “What is next”. David says that the key element is to eliminate the distraction, whatever its source, and to have focused alignment in whatever you’re doing.
I find this approach quite right. If I worked for myself or at home and let’s say I have to go shopping, then I go shopping. In return, I work late at night catching up with my emails. Of course, some companies already offer that, and it is a common approach for some. And, I would not differentiate between my work and my private life.
By desperately trying to separate the two, e.g. working 9-5 in an office, then going home and not looking at any work related things at all, would put more pressure on me. Naturally I try to not think about work when home and not thinking about home when at work. Maybe the way I demonstrate it exaggerates things, but generally speaking, I agree to not separate the two.
Personally, I don’t mind having a day off but checking and in urgent cases responding to my emails, or even make a phone call. When I get home after work, I surely want to spend as much time as possible with my boy, then put him to bed. And, if there is important work, I might just work for another hour or so. In return, I would (and can) expect my employer to give me time if my child is ill and I have to work from home, or come in late as I need to go and see the doctor with him.
But, and that is the way I understand David Allen, people in general worry too much and think too much about the “what if” rather than “what’s next”. It is about productivity and about making the most of your time. If you are officially at work or at home or if you just in “your time”. And that is what counts.
Of course for blue collar workers that have more of a regulated, maybe even machine driven work pace, things are different as they cannot really do anything else whilst supervising a production line. And, whilst being at home, there might less work to be done. Work might not be as flexible.
Bottom line: Stop Worrying, and Start Living. Dale Carnegie wrote about that more than 60 years ago.
Stop being desperate about a balance between work and life. Treat all as life and organise yourself. From there, you will be productive: for work, for life, for yourself.
Hope that makes sense.
Sunday Column (9)
Posted by Volker in personal, Sunday Column on April 26, 2009
Wow. Time seems to be flying. Is it really Sunday again?
I need to re-cap my week. Monday was just a big catch up on things and sorting out schedules. Really, that was my whole day. Tuesday was an eye opening trip that made me think a lot about what to come. And, Wednesday and Thursday just flew past. Friday was great. A very enjoyable and productive day at work and my usual take away pizza – falling asleep on the sofa.
I feel like I am progressing in Tai Chi a lot and that my work life balance improves too. Why? Several reasons really. Firstly I started using a direct train from Beckenham to Farringdon. Saves me no time but the hassle of changing from tube to train which in the rush hour are heavily packed. However, it also means I leave the office 10 minutes earlier and have the feeling that I have a better cut between work and life. I don’t mind being on demand via blackberry all night anyway but with the nice weather it is great to get this flexibility, particularly since I start at 8 am anyway. So that is all good.
Secondly, my ipod gets me a lot of awesome podcasts, including innovative and managerial topics from top industry leaders. I really enjoy that. A really clever invention.
Also, which I think is the major part of my “new life” is the re-discovery of sports. Ever since I have been back to the gym on a regular 2x a week basis I feel much better. It not only gives me a “healthier” feel but also a good way of relaxing, de-stressing and calming down. That in combination with the podcasts which I listen to whilst exercising really help.
Now, on top of that we have met a lot of friends this week. Just yesterday we met with our neighbours and their almost 1 year old daughter and had a fab BBQ, a great time and lots to talk about. Today we had lunch with a great friend and had great chats. All that contributes to an almost perfect life.
I think these are my real thoughts at the moment. I am very happy. The summer is coming and all signs show that it seems to be a good year. How blessed am I?
Love and Kindness to you out there,
Volker
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