What a better start could I have had into the week? About 4 hours sleep, up at 5 am for my run thinking I was on top of the world. Shin pain, 20 minutes run, thinking I could catch up with sleep on the train. Train stopped half way, got transferred and was 28 minutes late at Victoria (so no refund, under 30 minutes delay). No sleep on the train, emergency at Victoria tube station: 30 minute walk to the office, shattered, new starter, discussion around the restructure, 1-2-1 all day, further discussions, still fasting as it is Monday. Meeting friend after work for cranberry juice to catch up when wife calls that she has to go to A&E with the little one because he put a pea up his nose. Made it home to relieve our 70 year old neighbour from Colin who was luckily well behaved. Managed to get him dressed, washed and teeth brushed without too much fuss, got my things done, a phone call, found another dead fish and realised it was 9 pm that C went to sleep. Wife arrived with the wee one after 11 pm. Shattered. Knackered. Full of love for the family and passion to make it work. That lack of sleep cannot kill or break me. Not yet anyway, the rest of the week should see some improvement. That is what I thought anyway.

Life is what you make of it. How you look at it. Your decision. Sleep isn’t important. Trying to be nice doesn’t always pay off. Trying to convince little people to go to bed is difficult. Reasoning without arguments. But what I love is the bounce backs. The re-bounds from the things that happen. When you didn’t sleep properly for a week and someone small just comes up to you, looks into your eyes and gives you a big hug. Life is good.

Wednesday: R was sick. Some vomiting bug. He was poorly, little sleep and lots of cuddles for him. Thursday: it was C’s turn. He was sick a few times, luckily mostly in the bowl and not the bed. The joys. It is one of those things. You accept the responsibility and power through whatever happens. You get up 5 times a night because your child needs you. Or, you come home from work early on a Friday because your wife is sick too. You know what I mean? Even the cat was sick on Friday night. So I am awaiting my turn. At time of writing I feel something is up but haven’t been sick. C was sick again on Saturday night. Oh dear, I haven’t done so much washing in a loooong time

On to other things. i went running every morning but Friday. I had a few pints on Thursday but mainly I was exhausted. Shattered. If I wasn’t planning to work from home on Monday, I probably would have on Friday. I believe I got enough sleep Thursday night, and it wasn’t that I was drunk but a few beers and five hours sleep interrupted by a vomiting and crying child do wear you down. Never mind. That’s our job as parents. And actually I am loving it – the parent job that is.

You probably noticed the pictures on the blog are a lot of motivational quotes. I find them on Facebook and think they are having a good place here. Something that makes you think. The walls you build yourself. The limitations you set yourself. Interesting fascinating stuff. I broke a few of those walls at my end and other people’s walls. But hey, this is the past. Surely there will be people who’s walls I break down in my life time. But that’s maybe for another time.

Just every now and then I have this one big barrier. One last puzzle to solve. I love eating and can eat a lot. Like my unhealthy pizzas and curries. Take away or home made. Also I like my glass of wine. However, being on the treadmill I start losing weight, get in shape, do weights. All good but the real success will come once I stop eating so much crap. Some people advice this is due to the above factors like lack of sleep, exhaustion and reduced energy when you get home from work. But is it? Is it not just laziness on my part? Maybe one day I look back thinking I should worry less as the phase I am going through with two little kids and sleepless nights and I should come to terms that it is normal to eat lots of crap food and drink wine. It is the same as earlier this year. I was accepted that doing exercise wasn’t an option until the kids were older. I suppose if I mastered the exercise, I’ll be getting the laziness in food sorted too. And in fairness, I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables in a week too. More in the summer of course.

That concludes a rather eventful week. The Christmas tree is up but I am far from being in the festive mood.

Between now and Christmas I have to sort out a lot of things. Some at work about which I cannot speak, some in my private life about which I spoke already. At least we got most of the DIY stuff done, and probably finish the rest at Xmas. I am off for 2 weeks, so plenty of time for the family. I kind of looking forward to it. It has been a long year. Slow at times but very extensive. Tiring.

However, you ever really notice how tiring kids are when your partner is away. My wife was away Saturday night. The worst bit is getting the kids to have diner. Washing, playing, bathing and putting them to bed is fine, enjoyable even We often don’t appreciate the amount of work our “stay at home” mums do. I had it particularly difficult with one sick child, however nothing I couldn’t handle. My personal stuff need to take a set back. Juggling a call, two kids, shopping delivery and doing loads of laundry is not easy. So a big shout out to both my wife and all full time mums. They don’t get sick days. And they hardly get enough acknowledgement.

One last thought before I finish. When I came to the UK I used to send letters to Germany on a regular basis. 48 p a letter. When I got stamps last week for the odd Christmas card I send to Germany they were 87 pence. Almost double. When I told the lady at the post office that I paid a lot less she said that it must have been ages ago. I was laughing and said that it has been 6 years, only realising when I left the shop that it has been a lot longer.

Living in any country over 10 years makes you a local. It seems like a long time. I am home in Britain. I enjoy living here.

I spare some more of those thoughts for next week maybe.

Have a great week, stay safe and don’t catch the bug. I tell you all about it next week, if I got it or not.

Cheers,
Volker