Dear Colin….

Dear Colin,

Guten Morgen, ich hoffe Du hast gut geschlafen. You look tired. Let’s be quiet, it is only just after 6, and mum still wants to have another hour or so before she has to get up.

Psst, come on, you have gotten out of your sleeping suit now for over 8 weeks. Please, don’t make it so complicated. I understand it is early, and you want your glass of milk but let’s be quiet.

Ok, careful down the stairs, watch your head. In a month or so, you will be too tall for me to carry you down the stairs. Colin, you are growing up so quickly. You get so much smarter and more engaging every day. I so enjoy watching you growing up.

Oups, sorry, forgot to tell you that I switched on the light. I know it is still too early for this bright hall light, let’s go into the Wohnzimmer to see what the cats are up to. Can you hear them meowing? Hansel and Gretel?
I sit you down on the sofa, and get you your milk from the fridge. Whilst you are sitting there, I put on your little shoes. I think they are already getting too small. And, you only got them a few weeks ago. I think we better order new ones at the weekend.

I then dress you in your cute little dressing gown you got from grandma. You look like a proper grown up, ready to relax all day. But if you knew what all lays ahead of you: playgroup, visiting your pals and going for a walk.

Now, next steps. Look at the Kuckucksuhr – the cuckoo. We let it out and it cuckoos now for 12 times and you get this shiny smile on your face. This smile saying “I was hoping you let the cuckoo out, it is so funny to see this one appear every morning”.

And whilst you are sitting on the sofa you can hear my toast popping out of the toaster. You get up to run into the kitchen. You see me putting this brown sweet stuff, Nutella, on the toast. You cannot wait to taste it. And you do. Just a mini Colin bite that makes you smile again.

You bring over your most favourite toy whilst I sit down on the sofa myself. The box where you have to put round and square pegs in. You never get bored of it. You let me empty it over and over again until you want another drink, you call it “bit”.

So I go back into the kitchen, make myself a coffee. You still cannot figure out the concept of this warm, good smelling drink I am having. You are so curious and I need to lift you up to see the espresso machine. The funny noise and all. You love it, you want to learn, soak it up and one day do it yourself. I am sure about that.

Now, I get you a bowl of rice crispies, or a slice of this cinnamon fruit loaf. You love to be fed. Not for long though. You want to do more and more yourself. Colin, you are growing up so fast.
I notice the time. Darn, these 90 minutes passed quickly. Time to wake up mum, and get her to look after you. Now, of course, just before I leave you need to do your morning poo. Whilst I change your diapers and you roll around, trying to whinge yourself out of my grip, mum comes to the rescue. Her iphone apps keep you busy until you are clean.

Bye bye Colin. Winke winke. I see you in the morning. I am off to earn money for some more diapers, rice crispies, and shoes. Of course I am going to miss you, and you are upset to see me go. But you soon will figure out what life is all about. That we have to make sacrifices, that work can be fun, that being away all day doesn’t mean I am gone, and that sometimes in life you have to make decisions.

When people see my laptop or my office, they see pictures of you. I proudly show them the latest picture I have of you on my phone. Darn proud I am of you, my eldest son, Colin Heinrich.

I often speak to people about what I wish for you, and that this might be completely different to what you might wish for for yourself. And, that I shouldn’t put too much pressure on you, whilst I should still try to get you on the right path. The path that your mum and I want to chose for you. However, you will soon develop your own thought, opinions and ideas. And, you soon won’t care if I am gone all day. You might even prefer it.

But until then, I hold on to those precious mornings. The time we have together. The time we can spend together, have breakfast and some play about.

Colin, have a good day.

I love you, and see you in the morning,

Your Dad.