Sunday Column (226)

I finish writing this post sitting on our patio, a dram of Lagavulin in my hand and the sunset in my face. Life is good to us. We spent the day with friends in a park in Tunbridge Wells. It is also the 7th of July – so I remember what happened in London a few years back.

First and foremost I’d like to thank everyone who keeps me motivated these days. My family, friends and of course YOU – the reader of this blog. I got quite a few compliments this week for keeping others sane and motivated, and I am glad I can give some of what I receive back. Quid pro quo.

I saw the following quote this week which goes in line with my thinking. Weak companies hire the right experience to do the job. Strong companies hire the right person to join their team. Over the past few weeks I have been speaking to a few companies and some ruled me out for limited experience in one area or another. Whilst of course there is competition to have all the skills for a job, it is also as much about the person you hire, most often even more though. But going from 24 down to the last 2 and then losing out doesn’t pay the bills. Things meant to happen for a reason. Also frustrating is to know that you want to be hired by a company but they don’t have a position suitable for you. That goes in line with above. But I will summarise it all once I reached a conclusion.

On another note I read an article about time management. Someone lost their phone and said that they had the best night eating out with friends ever. And the reason was simple: focus. No text messages to attend, no emails, no Facebook, no disturbance. A lot of us have too much noise in the background dropping in and making us changing our focus from one task to another. Our parents didn’t have that. Emails coming in every second of the day, people wanting your attention and you never ever get to focus on the things in front of you. I have my wife to proofread my book on Time Management and hopefully publish it shortly. It will allude to some of those topics also. Focusing on the task at hand whilst ignoring other things is key.


Will Smith’s quote, and I didn’t know until recently that he is into motivational things, is quite true. Often people excel after they got hurt or felt pain. If that is after rejections of any kind, an accident or death of someone close. We seem to gain power by proving our point after something happens. His movie “Seven Pounds” is about that too (trailer below). You can do anything you want, anything you put your mind to. Like a Phoenix out of ashes we have a lot more strength after pain, and a lot more reason for achieving something. Yet, we get a lot more attention too.

I guess that’s where personal development comes in and makes you capable of changing your mind set and frame, your thinking, language and attitude towards winning. Contact me if you want to find out more 😉 I’d love to do more coaching and actually signed up to be a mentor for graduates of my old university this week.

A few years ago, Peter Maffay, a German singer, did an album which included songs he recorded with people around the world. One of them was Lokua Kanza from Africa whose album Wapi Yo (Where are you?) I really enjoy listening to. I slowly get a bit of my interest in music back. Allegedly music releases the same hormones or triggers the same reaction in a body as sex and other rewards. They say it takes a few weeks to relax after leaving a job, and that is why you should spend at least three weeks on holidays each year. Disconnected. I might not quite manage that this year but we shall see. Life is full of surprises.

To my astonishment I enjoy my life at the moment. Not that I wouldn’t want to change it, and if I could spend more time with the boys not worrying about the future it would be better, but it gives me great flexibility to spend more time with the boys, we are getting a lot closer I believe. Too soon this will be over. For better and for worse.

One last thought maybe on Beckenham, where we spend 9 years of our London life. We went back to see some friends for a birthday party. We still very much like our friends there but somehow felt we outlived the commuter zone so close to London. People seem less open and friendly and outgoing than people in Hassocks; they seem being more Londoners. Of course not all people in Hassocks are friendly, or all in Beckenham are reserved, but the ones that moved “down from London” like us seem to have done that for the same reason we have: for a better life in the country and for their families. You seem to get along quicker and have more things in common from the outset, similar motivations. We all seemed to have arrived. Arrived at a place we like to settle. This of course is not limited to Hassocks as other people who moved away from Beckenham or similar communities felt the same. I am not sure where I am going with that but it seems that we made the right move for us.

If I could do it all over again I’d done the move years ago. Just before the kids arrived. But things happen for a reason, at a certain time in life. That is what life is about. My life. I love my life. I really do.

However, time to go back to the grindstone, working on my future and the one of my kids. I cannot wait. Fingers crossed.

Have a great week!