Systems – Imprints

I was thinking today about making decisions: if people have hope for a positive decision from you and you disappoint them with a negative decision, would you actually create a negative imprint?

From my point of you I do not think so. I mean it obviously depends on how you break the news and how you think people will react to it. If I understand the system right, the one I believe in, then the other person should actually be very happy for you and wish you all the best.

Whilst that happens in most cases that people accept decisions and that people will allow you to decide against what they like, they see beyond and see that the person decides for something else, seeking happiness for the person.

Would that not mean for the person making a decision that they create a positive imprint by accepting one direction whilst creating a more negative, if not negative impression, by deciding against another direction.

Either way, the amount of “negative” can be influenced on how to break the news. Lets use an example:

Your 2 friends A and B ask you to do something with them over the weekend.

You decide to go to the football with A and create a positive imprint talking to him and making him very anxious about the upcoming event. (N.B. if you then cancel last minute due to reasons A would not understand then you would create a negative imprint.)

B will be disappointed if you break the news saying “I will go and watch the football with A”. However, you can create a more positive imprint by suggesting “you want to join” or “why don’t we arrange something for next weekend” or something along those lines. It is up to you on how well you break the news to B. What about “I go to the football with A because I like him/her more”. That would hurt and, even if true, would be unnecessary and create a negative imprint.

NLP differentiates between Conflicts and Dilemmas for decisions (examples from John McWhirter, Sensory Systems Glasgow):

a) Conflict: short term decision on either continuing what you do or stop doing what you do; e.g. if you are having a good time you could continue to do so and will develop on something different. Whilst on the other hand you could stop having a good time and go home, e.g. going to a safe place. Then you make that decision again.

b) Dilemma: if you have a good time and look for a long term decision you can ask for the benefits until both sides agree what is better (sum of imprints zero) and then make a decision on either one way (yes) or another (no). You will still continue to have a good time but in “one way or another”.

To sum it up, we have to make decisions in life and will always create positive and negative imprints doing so. But through the way we make decisions, break news or even decide we can arrange for the imprints to be more or less positive/negative and influence our consequences from it.