Tag: anniversary

Sunday Column (408)


In life we just need to keep going and keep looking for the positives. We must continue to tell our story to ourselves and focus on what we want to achieve for us and others. Every story is different and some clash, but most of them just move alongside each other in the greater unconscious. Life is there to make the most out of given your ability and desire. It is down to you to achieve what you can and want to achieve, and it is down to you to react to situations in a certain way. Life is simple, embrace it and make it happen. Action it now. Don’t ever wait.

Another strike commute week behind me. Three days of delayed services and reduced services, early mornings without the kids, changed exercise routine. It is interesting to observe how your day is impacted by the commute. But as of last week’s post, there is no point of worrying or getting annoyed about it. I cannot change it. Things just seem to all happen regardless of whether I worry. Let’s look at the bin men. They didn’t collect our bins on Monday because a commuter parked in a way that the bin lorry couldn’t reach our bins. Of course it was the same car that had parked halfway across our driveway entrance before and half on the pavement of our neighbours. People just don’t think. They don’t think of the consequences their actions have on others. Now, in one of my Buddhist podcasts, they explained that the word Karma was invented to explain that every action has a re-action. I truly believe that.


But maybe I am sweating the small stuff here, or actually I am not. At least not as much as I used to. 9 years ago it would have been different. Just in time for half term and the arrival of our new bed and mattress, we had our 9th wedding anniversary. There is much to say about that. To be honest, looking back to when we first moved in together, to where we are at now, times have changed so much. To an extend that I don’t even remember my wife not being part of my childhood. The arrival of the little ones, 7 and 5 years ago respectively. Our first house, first pets, first decisions on how to arrange the garden. First time I paid for the full rent in a month when my wife didn’t have a job. That was before we were engaged. Then again she worked when I was still at uni. So many happy and sad memories, we always made and always will make it work. And 9 years on, I love this woman more than I ever have. Could not imagine a day without her. Couldn’t imagine not being with her, not having her as a companion in life, helping me to master the challenges, and to share the joy. I love you wifey! And I believe I am the luckiest man in the world to have you around me.

In line with above, and me being a happy person, I was asked this week whether I will be the next German Anthony Robbins. What a compliment yet I am far from being him, and don’t think I will ever be like him. I might be able to help in a similar way to how he does, giving my studies and background, but in a much smaller scale. Who knows and even that isn’t happening yet. However….I read an amazing quote this week: LIFE IS NOT ABOUT FINDING YOURSELF. LIFE IS ABOUT CREATING YOURSELF. Got it. Simple words, and as my Freedom Fastland podcast put it the other day, you are the one in control of changing the future of your family. You can change the standard path. You are the one creating the new opportunity and become the entrepreneur that changes the income and outlook for family generations to come.


That’s if you want to be like that. I don’t. I am not born to change the life of thousands by creating a product I can sell. I am not. I love being where I am, changing a life and improving a situation at a time. As someone said to me, you might not become rich with what you are doing but it is going to be fun. And that’s important. I created myself. I didn’t find myself. The “ballueder brand” is being build but I am not creating a new Robbins or Burchard. I am creating a person that is enjoying living my life, having a lot of fun on the way and create a future for my family. The things, the small stuff above, is what we create. And I like to just get on with my job, do it bloody well, and go home to be a good dad. In between I enjoy developing my kids, my friends and colleagues. I love helping and giving. About two years ago I managed a very successful transformation of attitude and it scared me a bit how successful you can be by putting enough energy and change management into a person and process. Great learning. Nothing is impossible and everything is possible. But stop searching for something that someone else wants you to be or you think you want to represent. You won’t find the answers. Life is about creation not copying.

Sometimes those personal development quotes just hit you. They all say the same and someone said the other day, that the ones sharing them, are the ones that least live them and are least successful. I tend to disagree. Each to their own and I personally enjoy a bit of self help banter. However, this is just one way of expressing your emotions, fears and thoughts. No results without massive action. That’s a quote from Anthony, and he is right πŸ˜‰

And as I progress towards the end of Bruce Springsteen’s book there is more that resonates. The stuff you learn from your kids. They make you see the world differently, make you understand the world. And as you grow up you learn how much you don’t learn and how often you just make things up as a parent as you go along. I love my boys, and similar to the wife above, I couldn’t be happier.

As I reflect on this week, having been fairly busy, yet had some challenges to overcome, life is good. I am happy. Content. I arrived.

Have a great week.
From my little corner of the world, I send you lot of love and happiness,

Sunday Column (241)

wedding2007 Today is our wedding anniversary. Six years ago we got married on a lovely sunny autumn day. As we said then, someone was watching us, making sure we had the most amazing day in our lives. And we did. Topped maybe by birthdays, that’s the kids’ ones I am talking about, or Christmas for the wee ones. We are moving into the 7th year, the critical one, as based on statistics, this is the year most couples get divorced. They say if you manage year 7, you manage for life. It is a myth, however research suggest the longer the marriage lasts, the less likely a divorce becomes. I am not worried. Actually we know each other for 10 years soon!

A quick search online reveals a few articles writing about the 7th year, but what have I learned? Surely I am not going to discuss my marriage in public, but thinking back over the years, one learns a lot. And in all honesty, I still learn. The love for each other gets shared with the kids, the attention for each other gets divided with the kids, the overall life is changing from 2 to however big your family might grow. This makes life richer. One needs to compromise, make up, remember birthdays and like today anniversaries. Show appreciation for each other’s contribution to the life together. Lastly commitment. No marriage, relationship or anything in life has only sunny sides. Commit to whatever happens, even if you are the one having to take a step back. My personal tip: if your wife has a good taste, and assumingly she would saying yes to you, leave her to decide all those things you don’t really mind too much: paint colours, furniture, toilet design etc., but make sure to support decisions and have an input, because you don’t want to come across as if you don’t care. And you don’t not care πŸ™‚

But enough about marriages and married life. It is a decision you make, stick to it and get on with it. In good and bad times. Talk. Talk a lot, communicate and speak about things. That’s important.


Last week I was travelling again. I chaired my second conference, AdMonsters Ops, in Germany, Munich. I tried to meet some business partners and friends whilst I was out there. It was a great trip and good conference. Not only did I renew some existing companies’ contacts and industry friends, I also managed to meet a very close friend I haven’t seen for (too) many years. Both very driven individuals, we are pursuing the same dream, in different ways. And, we both believe this dream is the “valid” one. So far away, yet so similar thoughts and motivations. I believe this trip might have been life changing but you never know. Making connections, connecting the dots.

On the way out to Germany I was caught in the trouble at Gatwick airport. A power cut put the South Terminal into a bit of a turmoil. With less than 2 hours delay we departed and I stayed calm. Age, meditation and exercise seems to keep my mind from going mental. At least for now lol. I was a bit more uneasy when the flight home got delayed but I got home at a reasonable time on Friday night. Tired, exhausted, yet full of motivation, contacts and good plans.

Munich, on the other hand, made me feel almost a little homesick. Quality build houses and products, quality food, good life style, yet in a cosmopolitan environment. If I ever considered a move back to Germany, it would be Munich. But I love my little Hassocks. The definition of Hassocks, where we live, was pointed out to me this week: it is the plural of hasΒ·sock (Noun):
– A thick, firmly padded cushion, esp. a footstool.
– A firm clump of grass in marshy or boggy ground.

So I can now choose whether I live in a piece of mud or foam. Maybe a soft spot where you can let go, with the feeling of just sinking in?

Flying home I had more thoughts about life. Nothing like having 2 hours of me time. Disconnected. A bit melancholic, thoughtful, yet with unstoppable energy to succeed. Life, both private and professionally, is at a pivotal point. About to accelerate. I love where I am. I love what I am doing. And I am determined to make it work!


Have a fantastic week. When you get a chance, take a minute to reflect on your happiness, your love and life. Hug your children and tell them, that whatever you do is to create a better life for them. When you work abroad you do that to provide for them, because you love them. If you don’t see them during the week, tell them that is for you to make sure they have enough food, because you love them. And, if they are old enough, make sure they understand that you don’t (want to) feel guilty not seeing them. But by you knowing that they love you, you feel better and they understand that you are away because of them. Life is that way. Either part of you has the same motivation, all you do in life is because you love your children. Because that’s the purpose in life, isn’t it? To make it work. To fight for it.

I better stop before I get more philosophical πŸ˜‰

Have a great week,

Sunday Column (77)

This week was odd, I think anyway. At work meetings got cancelled, everyone is busy, sales is slow but the prospect and response is great. Does that all make sense? More trouble with BT Business, as they just decided to charge us an arm and a leg for 1 hour calls to Germany (Β£53), which is just ridiculous or better: criminal. Overall things are good, and I registered a few domains to work on our corporate SEO. Overall, we are on track πŸ™‚

PS: if any competitor reads that, most good domains are now gone πŸ™‚

Privately, what has happened? I had drinks with two good friends, ex work colleagues and SEOs on Tuesday after I spent all day going to Manchester and back. We didn’t really get drunk but had a fantastic time, some ideas and lots of thoughts. Fantastic. Really enjoyed that guys!

I didn’t manage Tai Chi this week and decided on the new course in September. Colin got over his cold, so did I and my wife is feeling ok-ish, and she digged out the old guitar from her dad. Lovely to see her play (see!), but Colin seems to enjoy it πŸ˜‰

As for myself, I began to absolutely enjoy a nice piece from Mozart, Serenata Nottura, 1st Movement, Marcia Maestoso.

Also, my parents had their 40th wedding anniversary this weekend. I find it amazing and beautiful to think that one day, in a few many years….my wife and I hopefully celebrate 25 or even 50 years of marriage. My grand parents were married for over 65 years. What an achievement, and commitment. I am very proud.

On Saturday I took the boy swimming. Just Colin and me, as Jen needed some rest. I believe the next 6 months are going to be tough with us coming out stronger on the other end. It was great to take Colin swimming though, and having some father and son time.

The night we finished with the first ever roast lamb. It was fatty but overall a good taste and a nice diner.

Today we went to our neighbour’s daughters 100 day birthday party. Something which is very common in Korea allegedly. We enjoyed it a lot.

Speak next week,

Sunday Column (34)

I know you expect me to say that I had a busy week. But I didn’t πŸ™‚ I had 3 days off, so had a short week and a good break from work!

Monday I started the week with a Mobile Networking event after work. Then caught up with a good friend of mine over beers. Having had the man-flu again, I didn’t stay too long and was home before 10 pm. That seems to be early these days.

My mother-in-law came to visit for the week, and Tuesday, after a successful meeting at work, I went straight home and saw her. We had a nice take away and a few glasses of wine to properly celebrate her coming to visit us, and for me to celebrate the start of my “holidays”.

Wednesday I had a couple of meetings, including another coaching session. Problem with holidays are that you seem to have time to do things you normally don’t have time for. Some of which are meeting people you haven’t seen for a while, working on your website or working on your personal development. Whatever the case, you don’t have more time for your family either. I wonder if I am just getting too busy?

Coaching went well, and I believe I am making progress. I don’t want to disclose too many information here, but generally speaking, I come a lot clearer with myself. That is very good and highly progressive. Now, the next 3 weeks I need to step up the game and re-visit some NLP and coaching notes myself to make the progress I am after. Hard work again.

However, back to my holidays. On Wednesday my wife and I went out. My mother-in-law babysat. Colin had a terrible cold and we didn’t really enjoy being away from him. But also, we realised that “going out” is not as exciting as it was. Yes, we had fantastic food and a good bottle of wine, but we are less keen on the going out bit. Maybe we are getting very settled and are pleased with what we have at home. Maybe a good thing.

Anyway, Thursday/Friday, with exception of the usual Tai Chi, was all about family. I realised how much I enjoy being around the boy, my wife and see him being fed, feed him, play with him and spending time with him. It reflects in my time management at the weekend, so I now try to spend as much time as possible with him. Sometimes I wonder how I can fit it all in, but I guess my “work” has to wait until after he went to bed.

The weekend was quiet. We went to Bromley and did some shopping, had a lovely Kebab (I know, please don’t comment) and enjoyed some fantastic wine. I might continue writing about some of those shortly. We bought a couple of movies, a jeans and some stuff we needed, but really just enjoyed getting out.

Sunday seemed to be a sunny day. A lovely day to spend with the family. Quiet and relaxed, as always.

Have a great week ahead. It is our 2nd anniversary coming up. Sometimes hard to believe how quickly time flies. So far so good, I love my wife as much as on the first day….not only of our marriage but also when we met over 5 years ago.

Love and Kindness to you all,