Tag: attachment

Sunday Column (400)

400 Sunday Columns. Wow. That’s 400 weeks, just about….seven and a half years. Well done me!

dont ever give up

Holidays. Yes, we spent a week in Centre Parks, Elveden Forest, last week. It was great. I have always been a bit sceptical of holiday parks. Yet I was very positively surprised. Given you can book a week, we had essentially four full days of fun, activities and (family) togetherness. And not too far to drive either. Maybe when the boys are older we consider a bigger accommodation or we might stay longer, but a mid week break with lots of activities was just right given their age. A run in the forest most mornings, some wine at night, take aways, good (?) and too much food, swimming, going down a cyclone (check out cyclone video: https://youtu.be/yggVvOid7TI, it scared Colin and me. Both of us luckily did not know what we got ourselves into), lots of water plays, hot tubs, wave pool etc. Then bowling, owls, play parks, cycling, pony riding, adventure golf and the list goes on. Fun. Utterly enjoyed a week off and away. Spending quality time with the family.

centre parks

For many years I have not been a big fan of holidays to be honest. I am quite content sitting at home doing nothing. I did that this year already whilst the wife had the boys in Scotland. And as the boys are getting older it is nice to go out and do things. Even though they fell to bed totally exhausted most nights. But that is how it should be. Wireless throughout helped to stay connected, yet I tried to stay away from social media as much as I could. However, being able to follow the news was nice or not so nice given the earthquake in Italy. I pray for my friends and families who hopefully are fine. I start to enjoy going away and experience things with the family and find new relaxation in doing so. It is nice and great to see the kids engaging in new environments and exploring new things. I believe it is good for them, and me, and the wife of course too. Centre Parks even offers baby sitters so we had a date night too. Result! Only things that lets it down is the quality of food eating out. Yet the spa visit whilst the kids joined a Pirates’ party was amazing. We even consider rebooking for next year already πŸ™‚ Maybe a different park though.

Above are the highlights of the week. I am mentally preparing for a new challenge, a new start of my career. If I say start, it is more of a new beginning. Already, I feel like this is the right move and things will be great. They will be different but I can make a positive change and move my career in the right direction. And, it will be a lot of fun, and hard work. Latter is what I enjoy a lot, so it is all good I think. Given tomorrow’s bank holiday, I look forward to a new start on Tuesday.

There is little else happening in my world at the moment. I am exploring options for diagrams for my new book, e.g. to outsource the drawings. Then there is still a lot of editing to be done which I hope to get done by end of year before publishing it next year – maybe. Time is the main challenge, as I have a few projects on the go at the moment. The other one is to see which or if I can get myself a toy for my 40th birthday next year. When I say toy I am thinking Porsche, Jaguar, Alpha Romeo, Audi….but to be honest I am not sure how much I have to spend and how much I want to spend for something I do not need, but I do want. Not sure if my common sense prevails over my appetite to own and enjoy. A fine balance to strike, and still a lot of money to earn, which then puts things into perspective I suppose. Maybe we postpone to my 45th….

digital agency

What is life all about? Fun, family and memories? Ownership and wealth? Creation and making a difference? I don’t think life is as black and white and I also think it is a combination of above. As a Buddhist it is definitely not about ownership, but about fun and enjoyment. Little attachment, lots of fun, as far as I am concerned. If you realise that, you can own too. Maybe a loop hole but there is no reason to not owning nice things as long as you are not attached to them and they are the only thing you care about. Health is sitting on top of all of this, and you cannot buy health. And if health isn’t great, you end up cutting your life short, excluding most of the above, no? It helps to drill on that every now and then and put life into perspective. And value one’s holidays. To allow the odd indulgence and enjoy life – not excessively but consciously, not knowing when it will end. Yet we must assume it won’t end anytime soon, else we will not be able to enjoy it as much. And this week we enjoyed ourselves a lot!

I hope to look back on life in a few years time or hopefully many years from now and I might even look at my blog and read this – and I’d like to think that most of my decisions and thoughts were right. And that we made the right choices for our little men and pushed them into a happy, content life! It is a balance what you say to them, what you explain to them and how. They suck up your explanations like a sponge and don’t question it at all. Dangerous sometimes.

To finish….I had a dream a while back. I was breaking into a bank and was with two friends. One of which I remember. And we stole some gold bars or tried to anyway, and got caught. Instead of going to jail we were told that we will find out in a few weeks time what would happen. So we went home. Whilst on holidays the dream came back to me. This time being anxious that I haven’t heard and they hadn’t been in touch. I was hoping work wouldn’t find out about me having broken into a bank and trying to steal gold. No, I didn’t think of nor executed breaking into a bank. But maybe that dream tells me something. About waiting for the gold to come to you and not chasing it? Of being patient and seeing the gold in front of you rather than stealing it? Or maybe it was about letting go of ownership and chasing the dream with a friend? Maybe it was just a weird dream. Any ideas?

Have a great bank holiday. Spend it with the people you love and cherish. Share your love and gold and avoid short cuts. Life is good and you should appreciate it when it is there. Don’t live the future dream, enjoy the now.

Love and kindness from my little corner of the world,
Volker

Buddhist Thoughts: no attachment

There simply is nothing to which we can attach ourselves, no matter how hard we try. In time, things will change and the conditions that produced our current desires will be gone. Why then cling to them now? – Master Hsing Yun, “The Indescribable”

I often write about attachment and letting go. One should not worry about material possessions as they are replaceable and not really important.

Things, over time, change and desire changes. That means the attachment, the item of desire becomes obsolete.

So why bother now? Why cling on to something now well knowing it won’t be a desire to own in a few weeks/months/years.

Moving house and getting rid of clutter, realising that true happiness comes from shared love and joy of enjoying the moment, has made me realise that attachment is something we make up with our mind.

Let go. Little things, bigger things.

What stays is memory and the feeling in your heart. Forever.

Have a good one,
Volker

Buddhist Thoughts about attachment

You might have noticed that I write less about Buddhism lately. No other reason but that I have less time, and that I run a bit out of some really good quotes. That will change again, I am sure.

I love to write a longer article about Attachment, however I currently review the Diamond Cutter book again. Said that, I still need to finish another MBA book I am reading. Only got two eyes for reading πŸ˜‰

To be attached to one’s own happiness is a barrier to the true and perfect path. To cherish others is the source of every admirable quality.

– Tsongkhapa, “The Splendor of an Autumn Moon”

If you are attached to anything, your mind is not open for something new. If it is happiness you are attached to, you stand in your own way to find the right path.

Only if you are willing to give up any attachment and free your brain from any limiting thoughts, then you are free to find your path.

So, by cherishing others, you aren’t attached to your own happiness. And, you don’t create a new attachment, just share the love with other people and make them happy.

Could you wish for anything else?

Have a great day,
Volker

Sunday Column (94)

Christmas time, mistletoes and wine…..yep, Christmas is coming and it is coming fast. This week started with a busy Monday, a busy Tuesday in Leeds followed by a diner & drinks with my boss. A Wednesday client lunch, a Thursday client lunch, a Thursday mexad Christmas party, and a slow Friday. Whoop, that week really passed quickly.

And it’s gotten cold again. Minus. Snow. My cousin wanted to visit but couldn’t because of cancelled flights. Here we go again. On Saturday I beat the snow to it and went shopping really early. And, the shopping should last us 2 weeks also πŸ™‚ Roll on Christmas.

I will write a proper review of 2011 but where are we now. 12 months into a new job, a new part of the industry, an exciting company. 2011 will see more growth, more fun and more expansion. I am very excited. However, there growth for the family too. Colin expects his little brother early February, a new life and a new cycle starts over again. It is exciting to see it, to feel it and we are looking forward to it, as the work will be all well worth it. Looking back, 18 months ago, I couldn’t cry I was so overwhelmed and didn’t know what to do when I held Colin in my arms for the first time. And look how he has grown, his personality, his cheek. Time has flown past.

I love my new phone which takes amazing pictures. Not only of the snow. And it is so easy to set up and use. I got more kit for it, including a new car holder, an international USB charger and an external battery to boost the battery in case I don’t have access to a charger. All set now for new adventures, and an exciting 2011.

There isn’t much else happening. My dad was fantastic over the last few months to sell my old collection of H0 cars (1:87). We made about 200 Euros selling them on eBay. My dad is now a power seller πŸ™‚ and my childhood memories are gone. Some went for a price that was below their value but with them sitting in a box in the attic they are no value to me anyway. So another burden gone. Another attachment I got rid of.

I have to say, 2010, given that I try to live more like a Buddhist than I have done before, I tried to get rid of more attachments. The car collection is one. Putting my CDs on MP3 is another. Less attachment makes your life easier.

To finish off the weekend, Colin is ill again, was sick on the carpet and myself spend all morning in bed, not feeling well, coming down with something. Not a good finish to the weekend.

Ok, you read my full year’s review on Christmas day. I hope I get to write it then anyway.

Merry Christmas,
Volker