Tag: baby number 2

The last weeks

I guess that is the last post really before I am a 2nd time dad. Yup, I am very excited. Ecstatic really.

The last weeks….in particular…were the hardest. Anyone who prepared to be a dad will come across several issues. One of the most obvious is your wife/partner. She does change with pregnancy. It is due the hormones they say. And of course they are right. They keep forgetting a lot, being more moody but overall more nesting too. That means they excel in cooking and DIY πŸ™‚ However, I do not want to write a guideline on how to deal with pregnant women.

I just thought I summarise the last few weeks. My wife agreed that I am allowed to mention her high blood pressure. But to be honest, there have been more problems with this pregnancy right from the beginning which limited my wife, our travel plans and our lives. We accommodated that all very well, and I think the whole pregnancy was ok-ish.

But the past weeks my wife’s blood pressure went up. That is not only dangerous to the baby but can potentially be dangerous for her too. Some problems and diagnosis were unclear, and we got shocked a couple of times whether damage had been done to either of them. And whilst of course we don’t find out until the wee man arrives, we are hopeful (and so are the doctors) that things are ok. So fingers crossed.

It also meant that out of nowhere my wife called me at work. I dashed home, drove her to hospital. She stayed a few nights in, was released with blood pressure drugs and just when we settled into our routine, there was a new potential problem. Same scenario.

My employer is quite lenient. So it was fine for me to leave at noon, going to hospital with my wife. Then I left her at 7 pm, going home to work until midnight. Flat out really.

But we wouldn’t have been able to do that without our always so helpful (direct and indirect) neighbours. They have been stars throughout the pregnancy looking after Colin at short notice, and jumping in to feed the cats. They are absolutely fantastic.

And, not least, my MIL – yes the evil MIL πŸ˜‰ – no, we not only getting along quite fell for living in such a small space, she has been so great helping my wife doing the household, ironing my shirts, letting us sleep in etc. etc. For (in all respect) age and condition she has been a star throughout and without her we couldn’t have not managed.

So we are looking forward to Wednesday (tomorrow, or in 2 days at time of writing), not only to welcome our 2nd son, but also to put a stop to a stressful time. A time where we didn’t know what happens, didn’t know what tomorrow, today or the next hour brings. A time when I went home sick from work to find myself in the parking lot connecting to work via mobile dongle whilst my wife got checked out, me being pumped up to my eyes with painkillers.

We get our life back. We get certainty back. We are hoping for a healthy child, little complication, and fingers crossed, less frequent hospital visits. I can only feel and think of people with ill children/relatives who are under that constant pressure all the time. Only now I can understand how good our life is, and hopefully I will be able to cherish this one, showing love to all the other lives around us.

Not long now, and thank you all!
Volker

Sunday Column (99)

In my own experience, the period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one’s life. …Through a difficult period, you can learn, you can develop inner strength, determination, and courage to face the problem. Who gives you this chance? Your enemy.

– His Holiness the Dalai Lama

To say this week passed quickly is an understatement. Thinking about last week, I don’t even remember last Monday. After stressing all last weekend about some work issues, I decided to de-stress this weekend. As far as that is possible. Work, and the arrival of number 2, are a lot on my mind. So I really need to work harder on de-stressing. It will be all better once number 2 has appeared, and I can actually make plans. You know I like planning πŸ™‚ Then again, we all knew 2011 will be more stressful than 2010. So all good, I am not complaining but could do with longer weekends at the moment, or with less drive to work on new personal projects πŸ˜‰

After I moved my blog www.balamadana.com to this site, I decided to finally buy the book of Geshe Kelsang Gyatso that was recommended to me by so many people “Transform your life“. I strongly believe that 2011 will see a more dedicated spiritual development for myself, which also means I am going to spend more time thinking and developing my inner self. I almost feel as if that is part of having a second child, of having growing responsibility at home, but also at work. Living a better life for others, and ultimately ourselves. It will also help with the de-stressing and give me an overall better balance.

On Wednesday I went to Manchester. Quite a likeable city actually, and people are more open than in London. Always makes me wonder about London and whether it is worthwhile living here. But you know my thoughts about that. I am reading a book about Australia at the moment, but I believe you are never sure until you go anywhere. I didn’t do any research before coming to the UK 10 years ago. From a Buddhist point of view it doesn’t matter where I go, as I am on the journey of life anyway.

My MIL came down on Saturday to help my wife, and ultimately me. It really is time for the baby to make an appearance. Trying to leave work early last week one day resulted in me being home but working here without being able to help my wife. I really need time off to help her, so it’s better for the MIL to come and stay with us. As always it will be a lot of compromising on our part but also on hers of course. But for the greater good of getting us through the last weeks of pregnancy, this will be worthwhile.

All Saturday morning I played with Colin. We had lots of fun. I ordered big packs of catfood which got delivered in a huge box. So we sat in there. And I also ordered him some extra tracks for his wooden train set, and a new tunnel. Cannot wait for those items to arrive. I will love them! I enjoy Colin so much now, and thinking I might have missed out on his early weeks due to “life’s circumstances” and “me not knowing what to do” sometimes hurts a bit. Hence I am determined to get more involved with number 2. But it is all about the moment, the moment now, the time I can spend with him every day. It is not about the past or what might come. So that is where my focus lies.

However, over all, I am the breadwinner, and as such, will have to go to work. That means compromising, and I am very passionate about work too, but hopefully will be able to find a better work-life balance than last time.

Guess that is all for now. The waiting….as you know, is the hardest part.

More news to follow hopefully soon.
Yours
Volker