This is another term I wanted to write about: Imposter Syndrome. How do you define it? How did you first came across it?
The Imposter Syndrome is something I see frequently as an executive coach; it is defined as a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments. They are afraid that they might be exposed as a ‘fraud’, despite them actually being very competent in what they are doing. It is a denial of their competence. Are you actually good enough to do that role?
It could happen that individuals attribute their success to luck, or a result of deceiving others of thinking they are more intelligent than they think they are. It is about being worthwhile and self aware (emotional intelligent).
This can lead to anxiety, depression and stress. Things that we can solve with some coaching, but also combine it with mindfulness training.
It is definitely something I come across in my work as an executive and productivity coach. Often it is caused by family expectations, potentially over protective parents; others are more around being a perfectionist or excessive self monitoring.
More often than not it is the story in your head, it is about your thoughts. Was my promotion justified?
We can help with that. The thoughts, that’s all it is, and coaching helps with that. Just having someone to talk to, as a sounding board, giving you some guidance on mindfulness, will help you succeed, and overcome the imposter syndrome. Your performance will improve, no doubt!
Ok. I have some time on my hands, don’t I. Actually I don’t have as much as I would like, and I got a lot busier than anticipated. That’s a positive thing, things are happening. So what do you do if you have some waiting time in London? People just went back to work properly this week being busy, so I had a few meetings in town, but then a few got cancelled last minute. Then I got some additional ones in. The train strike took me to London Blackfriars and this can be a bit inconvenient given most digital businesses’ location in London. Cut a long story short, I managed to walk a bit in London. Yes: W-a-l-k, take things in, smelling the roses. It was fantastic.
Yes, I absolutely loved it. Not only did I manage to burn some calories and make some phone calls, I also managed to just wander around London. I was thinking for a moment to stop all the time and take some pictures, but I found this would distort my idea of experiencing London. I almost went into the National Art Gallery. When did you last have time to just wander through the streets of London, look up the buildings and take in all the architecture. Did you know that from Farringdon you can see the Shard with St. Paul’s Cathedral in between?
What else did I spot? Lots of people smoking and vaping, more than I anticipated. Hipster cafes where I stopped and rested, starting to write this post. A Ferrari mountain bike. Old writing and signs on buildings just on the main streets. New buildings and building sites. Builders looking bored, some being very busy. A few new building sites I hadn’t noticed, some nice facades, a new hidden Neros off Jermyn Street. And I went with the flow, just chilling out and enjoying myself, looking at the world to go by and take it all in.
How much more time do I have to enjoy some down time? When is it getting serious again to go back to work? When would I have to, when would I want to get back to the grindstone? I tell you all next week (teaser).
I learned about priority this week. I was focusing on two important things this week, and those were my only priorities, but only one at a time. This was important. I tried to blend out any thoughts that would interfere with my priority at the time. Mind games, voices in your head, external influences, ideas. Like meditating with your mind fully switched on. I think it worked well. Being in full control of your mind and thinking really helps.
Then there is another topic I am giving priority and I am looking into at the moment: My 40th. Yes, it is coming closer and I cannot deny it or make it go away. It is coming closer day by day. It will either be a party or a mini holiday – the prices seem similar. We are evaluating. I let you know what we decide, not if it is a party though 😉 Anyway.
There is one theme on Linkedin and Facebook since the beginning of the year: Make the most out of 2017. Celebrate life. I am not sure if that mood is connected to the, as it seems, high amount of celebrity deaths last year, or whether it is a general mood to get on with life and make the most of it? Maybe it has been like that every year, but I didn’t notice it that much. This year I do. As if we, as people, are anticipating the world to end in 2017. I hope not. I have so many more plans, and ideas and want to see so many more places. Yes, maybe I should start doing that soon. I don’t want to run out of time. I must trust that there will be a life beyond 2017, despite all uncertainty in the world.
Life seems to be a bit like evaluating things, making decisions, living with it. Jobs. Life. Parties. The way you bring up your kids. We had tantrums this week which brought back memories of having a toddler. Do you let them cry or use reasoning? I tried both, and the former worked in the end, falling asleep being exhausted. Will they learn from it? Probably not. Just another phase, until in a while that phase stops and another one starts. The oldest becomes more of an adult now, and you sometimes wonder how grown up they seem. Wowsers.
Life is moving so fast, and we are evaluating. We make decisions and we move on. The flow. Go with the flow, don’t get stressed about it and feel at ease. In the end things will work out, and you must believe in the end. Have trust. Things never stop. You must trust things will be ok, because they always will be. Don’t let others pressure you into a situation you don’t enjoy and don’t let others make you feel a certain way. It all works out in the end. Trust in it going to happen!
But then there was one last thing I noticed this week. Whether it was Obama’s speech, his wife’s speech or Joe Biden: some great leaders and people you look up to that, in public and in very powerful positions, admit to something amazing: Emotions and feelings. It is not about crying but about bringing emotions back into what I would call ‘corporate and public life’. Ever since I have read and written my MBA thesis on Emotional Intelligence (EQ), I believe that the human aspects, emotions, feelings and the sharing of values is sometimes more important than red tape. Humanity prevails. I am moved by what happened in 2016. I have shed more tears and shared more emotions than ever before. Maybe that is why, as mentioned above, people are increasingly coming out with making 2017 the best year ever and to go for it. To show their appreciation, feelings and true emotions. Let’s do it. Let’s share more love and make 2017 happen!
I have a great feeling about it.
Love and kindness from my little corner of the world.
A week of train strikes. Early mornings, late nights, different trains, packed trains, impact on work and family life. Wow, I survived. It was utterly ridiculous. But then the ease set in from Thursday. What a lot of people didn’t know was that I had a few discussions with management over the last few weeks and we decided to finish off on a high after I finished a project earlier this week. So this concludes my first consulting project on programmatic and I hope I added value to the company (positive references are available upon request). I took the first step into freelance/consulting. So I now got a few weeks off.
What’s next? I will announce further consulting and advisory roles in the New Year. Having said that, one has been announced already, another software start up working with real time data. Exciting times (See Linkedin). Whilst I don’t want to rule out a f/t position, my remit and interests are very wide. Focus is key, yet also my life and values. I have had discussions with my mentors for a good while, and the key to any success is that the values of your job match the values of the company. Additional to that it needs to match your life style. What I mean by that is for me, with Southern Strike for instance, I can work from home. This isn’t always possible of course. Or I can work around my wife’s shifts. Or do some school runs. When I told the boys I would be home a lot over the next few weeks, they hugged me for 2 minutes. Needless to say I was humbled. I haven’t seen much of my family for the past few months. See reference in earlier posts. So life will be good!
The best conversation I had this week was with a fellow MBA who put some management theory into practise: a proper matrix organisation that works independently by vertical team and owns the product line. Empowered, in charge and happy at work with retention rates beyond industry standards. Very impressive. I haven’t come across too many organisations like that, but it brings out the best in people. Trust is key in any employer/employee relationship. The only other organisation I have seen previously working in a similar fashion was an agency which had given 70% of its shares to employees. That means they were directly impacted by the growth and revenue and owned part of the company. It works. Not many organisations are willing to set it up like that.
This is a keen interest of mine. Company culture and staff empowerment. Maybe a topic for the next book? Not sure. I now have 2 weeks to finalise my productivity book, identify publishers etc. Things seem to happen for a reason and life is too short to worry and not get on with it, to give up even. You know sometimes you have to go to the edge of the cliff. To see what it is like. Not to end your life but to take stock. To think. How often have you taken time out in the last 6 months to just sit and think? To reflect and see the world go by? I haven’t but I look forward to do that a lot more. I emailed my coach a few weeks ago, unfortunately he has been busy assisting Tony Robbins, and the reply I got, ever so short, already gave me kick up the bum. You know what I mean? Life is happening!!!
The best way to describe my cliff is I am on a plane ready to jump. I am at the edge, taking stock, have taken stock, and I am now ready to jump. But not without a parachute of course and a plan for when to open it. To take the leap, to make it happen, to be, to create MY life. You must create your life and be in control of your destiny. Anything else does not matter. Things will always fall (no punt intended) into place. One cannot make people feel a certain way or shoe-horn them into a situation. It is not going to work.
I am overwhelmed by support. People that I didn’t expect to say that, to be very supportive for me to take the leap. People offering me parachutes as I jump out of the plane. I have a small one but they offer me bigger ones. Some offer me safety nets and cushions. It is amazing. I am ever so grateful and thankful for that. Life is good and good to see that people are helpful. I am loving life. Seriously, could it get any better.
There will be more announcements to come after Christmas. For now it is wind down. I can go back to 10K runs in the morning, swimming, saunas and school pick ups and good night stories. Maybe some Lego and Power Ranger play too.
People who put their mind to things and think about it hard, and believe in things, are more successful in reaching their goals. Not only should you visualize what you trying to achieve and put yourself in the situation, you should think about it often.
People are know of being ill and cured themselves by positive thoughts.
People have visualized their dream house and lived in it a few years later.